Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?

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aviatrix Posts : 39 Registered: 3/31/06
Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 2:16 PM

ok this might be kind of weird but here's the story. I have a car and when I was at home my dad decided to keep a key for it. I have now moved several states away and would realisticly fly when I visit. Anyway, I found out that most places can't copy my key and the dealer wants to charge a ridiculous amount for a copy. Meanwhile my dad forgot that he had it when I asked him about it and yet does not want to mail it to me. I would glady pay the shipping since its so much less. I just don't understand why he wants a key that he has no use for.


Did anyone else's parents do weird stuff when you moved away?
This is on top of both my parents saying things like why don't you just stay with us for another month, the rest of the summer, etc... (the answer is the same: I want a job and I want to be closer to FH) I get the point that they'll miss me; they just seem a bit over the top. They are smart people, but they've just been saying things that don't make sense lately. I thought that they would be used to me not being there because I have been away at college for 4 years, but when I was packing up they treated me like I was still in high school. I think they're having trouble dealing with me growing up and getting married, moving, etc.

Are any of you in a similar situation? What did you do to respond to comments? ("I wish you weren't moving so far away", as you're packing the car. "Oh, ok"

talk about an awkward moment cause I don't want to make them feel bad by saying how happy I am to finally be moving.)

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totobride Posts : 641 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 2:19 PM Go to message in response to: aviatrix

Mine basically cut me off - stopped really talking to me like family. 

I am like a visitor now when I stop by - sort of a family friend - more like an old fond memory. 

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aviatrix Posts : 39 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: totobride

awww, I'm sorry, that sounds really sad.  Are you ok with that?  Mine still call, even it is to say that I'm wrong about the car key or whatever.  Not much talk about the wedding though...

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 3:00 PM Go to message in response to: aviatrix

Mine wouldn't even help me move.  And I was staying in the same town, renting maids quarters - it's not like I moved far a way into a big, dangerous city. 

They did lots of wierd things - they wouldn't even let me take my own bedroom furniture...

After a while they chilled and by apartment number 2 they were helping me move - and then bought a house for me & my husband ro rent from them while I finish grad school.

All parents do something odd when the kids leave - they'll get over it.

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 3:32 PM Go to message in response to: aviatrix

I'm 3 and a half hours away from my parents.  They had a key to my old car.  I drove to visit them (and a lot) so they needed to have the key. They don't however have the key to my current car. 

When I finally moved out, they gave my room to my youngest brother.  It's all boyish now.  Funny thing is, he's a Marine and is never home.

I get told a lot that FH and I have to act like a family.  That we shouldn't visit our families seperate, etc. 

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 3:39 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

When I moved out on a Friday, my parents were supportative and great about the whole thing. The following Sunday evening, the Daddster called asking who is going to do his Laundry, which was one of my household chores while living at home, he wanted me to drive home to do his laundry. I now live over 1000 miles away from home and mum and dad. When home, yes I will do his laundry with a smile.

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 3:40 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Yeah they threw a party!  LOL JK  Actually I left home at 17 I joined the Army and left 10 days after I graduated high school.  Also we had 10 people living in the house so it was probably a relief to them...they were like 1 down 7 more to go

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totobride Posts : 641 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 4:52 PM Go to message in response to: aviatrix

Yeah, I'm okay with it.  I was never close to my parents (they idolized the middle of my three older brothers - because he learned quickly to fess up to his "sins", the oldest one wanted to be independent, so we don't speak to him, the youngest of the three is autistic, so he got a lot of attention which i am in no way resentful for, and my younger sisters are all my dad/step mom's children and they are much younger than me and required more care).  I was kind of lost in the crowd and did my own thing, and isolated myself accidentally in the process.  I still have dinner with my mom a lot.
I would like to have more of a relationship, but it's not killing me otherwise - they don't make the effort, but I don't either, so it's not their fault.

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 7:10 PM Go to message in response to: totobride

i am 27 and never have!!!! HAHA!!!! i may be best not to ask. but anyway, i think my parents are counting the days! they are SSSSSSOOOOO excited. they will probably be so upset when i leave they will book a vacation or throw a party, like milatary bride's folks

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 4, 2006 11:13 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Well, I'm a little better than you, igorczy06!  I'm 22 and still in the nest! 

Actually, I think that we're all going to be weirded out when I move.  They're going to be heartbroken--especially my mom--and I'm going to be really sad, too.  It's not that I don't want to move it; it's just that I'm so accustomed to living at home, and we're a pretty close family.  Of course, along with the sadness and nervousness (not about FH per se, just moving away in general), I'm thrilled to start life with my FH!  I'll be packing up and leaving in either August or September, and you can be sure that'll I'll be keeping you all posted (pun intended!) and asking for advice about all the little details that are sure to crop up!   

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 5, 2006 6:24 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

When I moved out, I was 18. That is the age I was when my first son was born. I moved in with the father of my son (my now ex). My parents made the best out of the situation I guess, by helping me get things for our new house. They probably would have preferred for me to have not gotten pregnant so young, but given the situation, they were pretty glad I was on my own. (And I continued to finish my highschool and graduated!)

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 5, 2006 9:42 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Did they do weird stuff?  The initial move was traumatic, but you are already past that.  I live 1 hour away.  There was the time I spent a long weekend with Mom and Dad.  I got there Thursday around lunch, and I was leaving Sunday around 10pm because I had to be at work in the morning.  Mom said, "You leaving already?"  I am 36, and Dad told me that just recently has she stopped crying when I leave.  

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Guest
Re: Parents and seperation issues - Did they do weird stuff when you moved?
Posted: May 5, 2006 1:26 PM Go to message in response to: aviatrix

My parents were on the other end of the weird-moving-out-reaction spectrum... They were planning for it since I can remember! Everything they did and taught me was "...because you'll need to know how to do this when you move out on your own when you're 18." I already had boxes of housewares to take with me when I was 16. They seemed happy to get rid of me! I know that's not what they meant, they really wanted me to be an independent and fully functioning adult, but it was strange. The weirdest thing is when I moved back home at 19 for a while, they gave me chores and curfews again.

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