There's no "one" good answer. You just have to juggle and try to be fair to all parties, including yourself.
I know of families who are so busy going between grandparents that they never have time just for themselves. Invent new traditions that give you your own time.
I have some friends who have three daughters, all married. Every other year all three daughters, sons-in-law and kids go to my friends' house for a big family Christmas. On the odd years, the daughters go to their respective in-laws' houses, and my friends go on a cruise over Christmas, by themselves. That's one way to work it.