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Brooke051609 Posts: 723 Registered: 12/31/07
Out of the Loop
Posted: Aug 3, 2009 5:29 PM
Hey Ladies... I don't know if I'm just venting, needing advice, or just need a listening ear, but something's been weighing on me for awhile and I just wondered if this happens to everyone, or if I've done something wrong...

For quite awhile, I've been feeling very "out of the loop" with my group of girls that I've been friends with since high school. Now I know how when you graduate you go your seperate ways, whether it be college, or work, or whatever... but I've always made an effort to keep in touch through e-mails, phone calls, and planning an annual girl's Christmas party every year. I know our lives get fast paced and we don't have the time we used to, quite understandable. But what hurts me is that I always feel I'm the one initiating any sort of communication. I e-mail, send messages, leave voice mails and still hear nothing.

It seems to have gotten worse since all of my friends have started having kids. Now again, I totally understand that life gets even crazier when you start having a family, but again, that's not the issue. The problem is, all these friends it seems have plenty of time to talk to each other, mostly about their kids and all, but I'll try to contact them 3-4 times and never hear anything. I send birthday cards, anniversary cards, presents for their children's birthdays (I have to do that now because we live 1,000 miles away) and I'm not asking for a thank you, but I never hear ANYTHING from them.

I just feel that since I don't have children I'm not worthy of talking to. I must not have anything to offer to the conversation or anything they want to talk about so I never get a phone call. When we were in high school we were all very close. I was the last to get married. So when they were all married and we could get together, nothing I said was taken seriously and I felt it's because since I wasn't married I apparently knew nothing of love or relationships. I just always feel a step behind and not welcome.

I know the obvious solution is to find a group of girls in similar positions as me, just married, no kids yet.... but it's very difficult as DH and I have had to move a lot recently due to his job. It's difficult to be somewhere with no friends and it just makes me miss my old friends very dearly.

I don't feel like I"m asking for too much, just a phone call every now and then, to maybe see how I am.... or a message... or just something. THis sounds like such a pity party, and I'm sorry. It's just been hitting me harder lately because I'm still out of work (no luck yet! ugh!!) so no new friends and so far from home. Homesickness is probably playing into all of this as well. I just want to feel important to them, even though I don't have children too. I'm very happy for all of them, and love to go visit them and their kids, they are cute! I just wish they would want to call me and see how I am too every once in awhile. Not every night, not even every week.... but it's been months and months and months since a friend has called me. Just maybe once a month or every few weeks for even 10 minutes, would be so great!

Have any of you ever felt like this? What did you do? Am I being selfish? Thanks for listening!!!


                                    "Come What May...."

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