Wow guys....thanks for all of your responses! It was nice to read about how everyone spreads time around with their families, and some Christmas traditions too.
Reading your messages have definitely got me thinking about ways to compromise, and I'm trying to work out how I'm feeling and come up with a compromise that I think would work so I can talk to FH about it. I really like the idea of writing it out, so that I get to say what I need to say without getting emotional or something and getting side tracked.
Thinking back, I have been taking this pretty personally, and it's nice to hear from you guys that I am just taking it that way and it's not as bad as I was thinking. I was forgetting that you can love many people and each one can be important, and I need to remind myself of that more often.
Part of my problem I think is I feel like I'm always competing with FMIL for FH's attention when we're around his parents, which I think is what I'm putting into the situation (that's the way my mom feels about her MIL). FMIL does have her competitive moments, but mostly I think it's just me. That's something that I want to work on because I know that it's only hurting the situation.
I love FH's family, and I like spending time with them, it's like one poster said...I feel like I'm not important to him when he doesn't want to spend time with just us. I like the idea of saving Christmas Eve for ourselves and having Christmas day and the days after for family since we got engaged on Christmas Eve. I'll have to bring that up with FH. Maybe he wouldn't mind giving that up so he could have the big day with family.
I'm sure there's something we can work out if we can talk it out and we can both compromise. Thanks for all of your advice! I'll let you guys know how it goes.