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auntofthebride Posts: 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: NWR - week-long fight - need advice
Posted: May 22, 2008 9:14 AM
Dear Valerie,

Remember, it is not the inherent goodness of an issue that matters, but the level of agreement or disagreement between the couple.

If the two cannot reach some kind of middle ground, then the issue (whatever it is) becomes a deal-breaker.

There's nothing wrong with having deal-breakers. We all have them. My own is smoking: I refuse to be involved with a man who smokes. Common other deal-breakers are infidelity or criminal behavior.

Only you can decide if you have reached the deal-breaker stage in this issue, and from what you said in your last message, it appears as if the two of you have an effective compromise. That is good, and sets a good pattern for future issue negotiation.


I know well the Relay for Life. My husband has walked it many times; we have a snapshot of him snoring away in a portable chair during one of his breaks. It's a very worthy cause and I wish you the best.

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