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newsjunkie Posts: 3,417 Registered: 3/30/06
Bill of Rights for the boards
Posted: Mar 1, 2007 6:08 PM

OK, ladies, the boards have been weird lately with a number of threads that have turned into a junior high catfight.  I propose a "bill of rights"  for both those that post and those that respond to a post so that we can get past all that stuff and start helping each other out again.

For those who post:

Agree to try to make their post as understandable as possible.  A lot of people don't want to write a big long thing but then they end up leaving out crucial bits of information which makes it extremely tough for those who respond to give good advice.

Agree that if a response isn't to your liking that you won't get all bent out of shape because of it.  If you are posting in an open forum like this you should expect some people to disagree with you.  This is different than someone abusing you- that will simply not be tolerated.  But if you ask a question in your post and someone says you shouldn't do it you can't get mad at them- you ASKED for it, you know?

Be clear in your post- if you are JUST venting then say so.  And if you want advice, ask for it and be ready to hear it even if you don't like it (though you don't have to actually do it).

For those who respond:

Be sensitive to the OP.  Wedding planning is stressful enough.  If someone says they are just venting then let them vent- if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all.  If they ask a question give them an honest answer but reread it before you post to make sure you aren't being unnecessarily harsh.

Read the original post closely and try to read through all the responses before posting yours.  It is OK to parrot what someone else said in some circumstances but in others it is sometimes a waste of time and space.  For example, I once posted about my illness and said that while I was a proponent of adoption I really, really want to carry my own child but that I couldn't do it right now (and I listed all the reasons why not).  I can't tell you how many people responded telling me to adopt or to have a baby right now.  They clearly didn't really read the post and it was just kind of frustrating.

These are just the first few things that crossed my mind so everyone feel free to add on!

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