Apr 4, 2009 9:18 PM in response to: August28th

See, I don't really get this whole "bachelor" or "bachelorette" thing either...Like you, my FH and I are both very excited and looking forward to getting married and can't really seem to get the point of having a party with just the boys or girls...to celebrate our "single" life before marriage...? I just don't get it. But yeah, to answer your question, there is nothing wrong with having a combined bachelor/bachelorette party at all! My best friend got married last year and she did that with her then FH. All her BMs and her husband's GMs all get together along with some wedding party's spouse to celebrate their upcoming marriage! It was so much fun so if that's what you and your FH feel like doing than do that! I think is really cool that you can get together with all your gals and your FH's boys to celebrate before the wedding, although that sounds like an engagement party in a way...but i don't see anything wrong with that.

Tags: august 2009  |  missouri  |  california

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Apr 4, 2009 9:26 PM in response to: August28th

Oh, I also want to add that you don't always have to "party" for your bachelor/bachelorette thing either...Since my FH and I both not really into this whole partying idea, we are still planning to have a bachelor/bachelorette time with our gals/boys. I will be having a wine tasting and spa day w/my girls while FH will be playing poker with pizza and beer w/the boys. :) Just a small get together or a night out to dinner would be fun too!

Tags: august 2009  |  missouri  |  california

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Apr 15, 2009 11:56 AM in response to: August28th

I think its a great idea. That is what my FH and I have planned to do. We are the partier tyoes so we are renting a limo bus to load up all our friends and family in and take around town to bars. That way no one has to drive and we can celebrate together! Isnt that what we're supposed to be celebrating anyways? Us being together forever.....
I say do what you want to do because its your wedding. If you dont you may regret it later.

Tags: november 2009  |  florida

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Apr 15, 2009 12:22 PM in response to: August28th

You should have exactly what you want, not what your MOH wants! We're not the partying type and we're doing a very small wedding (20 people) at an Inn on the river out of town. FH is going fishing the day before the wedding with our dads and I'm going to do lunch with the ladies.

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Apr 15, 2009 2:21 PM in response to: August28th

Honestly when I first read your post my thought was "that's weird." But then I read what most of the PP's said and it makes sense. You should do what you want! There's really no reason you should have to have single gender get together. This is not a middle school dance after all!

That being said, my only other thought is this; are most of your friends his friends? Do all of your friends know each other? If you have mostly mutual friends then I say go for the combined party. But if your friends and his friends tend to run in different circles you might want to consider seperate parties. Its got nothing to do with gender or rowdiness. Your friends might think of this as a chance to celebrate your friendship and be with "just you" one last time before you're married. This doesn't mean that these parties have to be single gender or especially rowdy. Maybe he wants to go golfing or on an overnight fishing trip. Maybe you want to go to the spa or have a movie night/sleep over. No one has to have stripper or go to the bar and get drunk.

Just my thoughts on the subject. Ultimately you should do whatever you want and no one should make you feel weird about it.

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Apr 19, 2009 8:17 PM in response to: FutureMrsB2010

Hey everyone, thanks so much for the input! I really appreciate it. I'm happy to know I'm not weird for wanting a joint shindig! I'm sure whatever happens it'll be fun and memorable.

FutureMrsB2010, the majority of our friends are mutual with the exception of one BM and my MOH (BM and MOH know each other well, we were all roommates). I never really considered that, but that may be why she was wanting just a girls' night out so it could be her/their last night with me as a single woman. My MOH has never met FH because she lives 7 hours away and FH has been deployed since last April, so it seems normal for her to want to hang out w/ me who she's known for 4 years and not a man she's just met. That does make a lot of sense and I never considered that perspective. My thoughts were on the rest of our local friends who all know each other and get along great. So thank you so much for letting me see her side too, I appreciate it. That helps a lot!

We have discussed maybe having a daytime BBQ and sand volleyball at the park and then maybe splitting off and guys go fishing and girls have our nails done or something. So it would be a compromise. Thank you all for your unique perspecitives and ideas, it's great to have a sounding board of women going through the same things! Thanks girls so much!
True love is like a ghost which many talk about but few have ever seen.

Tags: june 2010  |  august 2009  |  missouri  |  illinois chicago

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Apr 20, 2009 10:15 AM in response to: NJ4Life

I dont think its weird at all, and it has nothing at all to do with not being able to spend time apart. (at least it didnt for us.) For us, we combined it and just made it a big casual hangout type thing; because A. I have way more male freinds than female ones (I have both, but my female friends are scattered all over the universe with kids, etc and they wouldnt have been able to make a bachelorette party most likely), B. most of our friends are shared friends; meaning we are BOTH friends with them , C. neither of us had ANY interest in the "traditional" idea of Bachelor/Bachelorette party (neither of us drink much at all, and the idea of a bar, club, strip club, or anything like that is completely unappealing to us both) and D. it just seemed like it would be much more fun to combine it into one big BLAST of a time.

So we just casually asked our friends , all of them, to play PAINTBALL and then go to a steakhouse for dinner. It was freakin awesome. We had two teams, men against women, and we basically spent the afternoon beating the crap out of ech other with paintguns. Then we had dinner and drinks and just hung out with everyone. For us, it was perfect.

I also went to another combined one that was a blast, where we all went to the Broadway interactive show Tony and Tinas wedding. SO MUCH FUN. Its like attending an actul wedding, but its a show with actors.

We werent even going to have anything at all, it just wasnt important to us as I dont really see the point of "one last night of freedom" and all that. Its bullshit, in my opinion. Nothing is going to change afte rmarriage. I still see ALL my friends just the same as before, and so does DH. So for us, it was just an excvuse to hangout with ALL our friends, wwhich we rarely get to do anymore since people have families and kids or live far away. So THAT was the part I cherished about it.

Then, the morning of the wedding, DH took his Best Man, my brother and dad, and my uncle golfing at the hotel course; while I had a nice breakfast and salon morning with my mom, MOH and a few close girlfriends. So that was a litlte added touch, but honestly, neither of us gave a crap about the whole Bachelor thing.

So DO WHAT YOU WANT and dont worry about what you should do or whatever. Its completely a personal choice and decision. Just make it fun for YOU guys and your friends and dont stress over what it should be.

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