Spouse Invites - HELP!!!

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Enicole72 Posts : 1 Registered: 11/22/13
Spouse Invites - HELP!!!
Posted: Nov 22, 2013 8:58 AM

Here is my dilemma...

My fiance and I have a very large guest list (as most couples). As we know plus 1's can easily hike up the list count. Needless to say we need to make some cuts. I know that proper etiquette says we must invite all spouses.

But what if we've never met the spouse? We know they exist but have never met them. Does the rule still apply?

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caisis Posts : 1 Registered: 9/8/11
Re: Spouse Invites - HELP!!!
Posted: Nov 23, 2013 2:16 AM Go to message in response to: Enicole72

This may or may not help, but here goes! General rule is that married couples will bring their spouse - invited or not - unless they're specifically asked not to. Do YOU want to make that request? If so, consider how it will affect your relationship that guest, and decide accordingly.

for what it's worth, I'm finding that I've got UN-married people I invited SOLO who are sending in their rsvps WITH a GUEST, even though their invitation was to them ALONE! Talk about BALLS! So be prepared that regardless of who you put on the invitation, SOME folks will bring a guest with them, INVITED or NOT!

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Syringa Posts : 115 Registered: 1/18/12
Re: Spouse Invites - HELP!!!
Posted: Nov 26, 2013 8:42 PM Go to message in response to: caisis

Unfortunately, many people don't understand common etiquette today and they will bring a guest or children even if the extras are not invited. Then you either have to plan for more food and seating or call and tell them you cannot accommodate the extras.

From an etiquette point, you invite spouses and fiances/fiancees of single guests but you are not obligated to allow every single guest to bring a "date" if they are not seriously involved with someone.

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StaceyKaz Posts : 1 Registered: 2/2/14
Re: Spouse Invites - HELP!!!
Posted: Feb 2, 2014 2:00 AM Go to message in response to: Enicole72

Its a delicate situation, good luck!

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Stacey1181 Posts : 14 Registered: 1/18/14
Re: Spouse Invites - HELP!!!
Posted: Feb 27, 2014 3:52 AM Go to message in response to: Enicole72

I agree with the above posts, having them bring an uninvited guest is unavoidable, but you could lessen the possibilities of having a lot! Why not stating "We have reserved (number) seats for you."? We will be including the said reminder on our wedding website at http://www.twowed.com alongside the paper invites which we're going to send out to the members of the entourage too. It may be a not-so-direct way of telling them not to bring "uninvited" guests. :) Hope this helps! Good luck!

Edited by: Stacey1181 on Feb 27, 2014 4:02 AM

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weddingspy27 Posts : 13 Registered: 12/10/13
Re: Spouse Invites - HELP!!!
Posted: Apr 11, 2014 7:51 AM Go to message in response to: Enicole72

It's really hard to be on your shoes on this matter. It's really unavoidable for some people to not bring their spouses with them so I think inviting less people could help but this may not be the best solution.

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TheWeddingMile Posts : 2 Registered: 4/19/14
Re: Spouse Invites - HELP!!!
Posted: Apr 19, 2014 10:53 PM Go to message in response to: Enicole72

Ultimately, your personal wishes must outweigh any restrictions etiquette and tradition might impose. If you only have the funds host so many at your wedding, prioritize inviting your friends over inviting strangers.

If there are friends and family who really want to bring relatives/friends you can't host, see if any of them are willing to help contribute financially to your wedding and expand the number of potential guests.

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