Okay. My niece was supposed to be married in August, 2013. She had a wedding party picked out, the dress bought, the venue paid for, etc. Some party members have purchased their dresses, family members and friends across the country have bought plane tickets.
April 7th, my niece got married. This was NEVER the plan. They didn't have the wedding rings yet, she wore a random dress, her husband wore jeans. Hours before, they invited parents, one grand parent, and some friends (but not the entire wedding party, who are still on good terms!) and swore them to secrecy.
It took her 48 hours to even call members of the bridal party, her uncle, and grandfather.
So now wedding party and family (parents included) feel snubbed because the sudden wedding was unnecessary and weirdly rushed. She expects her wedding party and family to still attend the August wedding ceremony, bring gifts, etc. And she is confused about why everyone is confused and upset.
It took her 48 hours (she's not on a honey moon, she went to work the next day) to even call one member of her bridal party.
Do we have a right to feel snubbed? Do we have an obligation to attend a ceremony and reception 4 months later and brings gifts?
You have the right to feel however you choose. As a wedding coordinator, I have had several couples do something similar to what your niece did. There can be any number of circumstances that might require the couple to be legally married before the planned wedding date. One of the most common is the desire to purchase a home and the couple must be married to qualify for the mortgage. Another common reason is that one person has insurance and the other does not and needs to be on a spouse's policy because of pending surgery, a high risk job or another reason.
I do question your niece inviting anyone to the wedding, then swearing them to secrecy. Most people in such circumstances tell no one about the early marriage other than the person who will perform the later ceremony and the wedding planner. Most often, even parents don't know.