I am in quite the predicament and need some advice. I grew up in New Jersey, but moved out to Colorado for college and never left. My fiance is from Colorado, born and raised, but most of his family is in Detroit. All of my family is in the New Jersey area, and my family wants our ceremony and reception to be in NJ. I, on the other hand, want my wedding to be in the mountains of Colorado-what me and my fiance love and where my life is. My family is not the traveling type, so more than half probably will not attend, whereas my fiances family will go where ever we have it. Of course I want my family to be there, but I want to do what my heart wants, not what my parents want. How am I going to plan the wedding 1700 miles away? I don't have the funds and time to fly back and forth all year, nor do I trust anyone else to make decisions for me.
If you and your fiance are paying, have the wedding in Colorado. If your parents are paying, then you may have to have it in NJ or consider declining their funds and paying to have it in NJ. Consider hiring a planner if you are doing it across country though - I know of at least one planner on here who is in Northern NJ/NYC, so she'd be in that area at least.
Best option in my opinion - You have the wedding in Colorado and you and your now husband can travel to NJ for an informal reception party for your family members who can't make it. But that's if you both are paying for it.
Colorado is my option. I recently went for a reception there. It was hosted in a castle wedding venue and was really fantastic to look on. castle wedding has a unique feel on hosting weddings. It is very romantic and royal.