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Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?

Online Users: 1,373 guest(s), 2 user(s). Replies: 9

KristinmStu Posts : 1 Registered: 8/5/10
Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 4:14 PM

I work in a pretty small office. I plan on inviting 3 out of the 6 people I work with. My mother and FMIL really really really DISLIKE my boss and her assistant. Right after I got engaged she marched up to my father and said well am i going to be invited to the wedding!? UM HELLO RUDE. Do i really have to invite them?? HELP!

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 5:18 PM Go to message in response to: KristinmStu

Hello,

Congratulations on your engagement and upcoming wedding. Office politics is never an easy thing. Please understand you can invite or not invite who ever you want to your wedding. Within your social circles it is pretty easy to decide who will be invited. You also have the no ring, no bring rule to help you out. However, the office adds a completely different level of complexity to the invite game. There are several factors to consider.

One of the biggest things to think about, is how much time you socialize with your coworkers outside of office hours. You will also have to decide where to draw the line. A problem occurs when you exclude one person and invite the rest. Word gets out and feelings are hurt. If you did have to limit people and you liked your boss, you could invite just the boss to represent the work folks. But that is not the case here.

Another factor to consider is revenge. If you don't invite your boss, will it be held against you. This is the person who controls your pay raises, promotions and possibly transfers in her hands. She can really cause you problems. In the end, I think you have to decide what is the lesser of two evils. Inviting your boss or not inviting your boss. You should also realize that on your wedding day, you will spend 5-10 minutes interacting with your boss. The rest of the time will be with closer friends, family and your husband. Perhaps between now and your wedding, you can find a new job with a better boss, then you will not have this problem (lol) ;-).

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


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Aunt Posts : 796 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Feb 18, 2011 6:23 PM Go to message in response to: KristinmStu

Dear Kristin,

Seeing as how you dislike your boss and the assistant, I would suggest inviting none of your co-workers. That way, the boss cannot take it personally and perhaps hold it against you later.

Remember, also, that you cannot just invite your co-workers. You have to include any spouses or fiancé(e)s.

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shirley16 Posts : 14 Registered: 1/13/11
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Feb 20, 2011 8:13 PM Go to message in response to: KristinmStu

Jumping on board with the invite nobody from the office to your wedding is a good idea. But if your 3 co-workers may have their feelings hurt, you should try to invite them to your bridal shower or your engagement party. Or try to have a small intimate dinner with them and explain that you wish you could invite them, but you just can't. You don't need to go into the details, they should understand.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Feb 20, 2011 8:41 PM Go to message in response to: shirley16

Having a small intimate dinner with them to explain why you're not inviting them is one thing.

No one should be invited to your bridal shower who's not invited to the wedding.

 

 

 

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WoodlandBride Posts : 52 Registered: 1/6/11
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Feb 23, 2011 11:44 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

I am in a similar situation. Although noone at my job has been as forward as your boss. There are 5 ladies that I have lunch with almost every day at work. Three of them I am close to, the other two, not as much.

If money were no object, I'd be happy to invite them all. That, however, is not the case. The way I was able to clarify who I am inviting, is I am going with the three that I actually do stuff with outside of work. I also have time before the invites have to go out, so if family does happen to help us, maybe I can invite the other two.

The hard part will come after the invites are sent and some are excluded... Is there a way to ask the ones you do invite not to mention? A graceful explanation? Not inviting any of them is not going to be an option for me as one of the girls is a skilled card-maker and is doing the invitations and RSVPs for me as a gift. I am prepared for the possibility of inviting them all (5 with appropriate plusses) I am just fretting a bit over budget.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Feb 23, 2011 11:52 AM Go to message in response to: WoodlandBride

With any work situation it is hard.

Things to remember - Don't discuss the wedding at work. If needed, take the ones aside that you are closer to and explain that and why. Make plans outside of work to have 'girl' time if needed.

Get home addresses. Do not send out/hand out invites at work.

It's a tricky situation. While money is an issue and even 2-4 extra people can push that limit that much more, it's often easier to try and figure out how to include everyone. But it's not always possible or desirable.

Good luck!

 

 

 

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Haine_Copii Posts : 1 Registered: 3/2/11
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Mar 2, 2011 5:20 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

I agree with you !

haine , hainute , copii , copii
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Kimberly212 Posts : 2,211 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Sep 19, 2012 7:45 PM Go to message in response to: KristinmStu

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nancyliu0522 Posts : 64 Registered: 7/16/12
Re: Do I HAVE to invite all my co-workers?
Posted: Sep 20, 2012 2:26 AM Go to message in response to: KristinmStu

If I were you, I would invite none of the co-workers, just hold the wedding party with your family and your best friends. No nedd to fawn on everybody. Do what you wanna do at your big day. Congrats!

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