My fiance's 16 year old son wants to sit at our table. We are not having a wedding party, however we have made sure he is very much a part of the wedding - he has a matching tux, boutonierre, he's walking with our 14 month old ring bearer down the isle, he is ushering people to their seats, he is playing one of his songs.
But this isn't enough for him. I'd rather have our close friends at our table and have him sit with the rest of the teenagers. But he is still feeling left out and wants to sit with us.
When we first got engaged 2 years ago, my fiance told him he would be his best man (stupid, eh?). He totally forgot he even said that. Why you would tell your teenage son this, I do not know. In any case, as I said, we are not having a wedding party so he shouldn't feel too bad about that now.
What do you think we should do?
Personally, I would seat him at the head table and I would also make him the honorary best man. The last thing you want to do is make him feel as if you are coming between him and his dad. As a wedding planner, I see many, many teens and younger children involved in their parents' weddings. They often are the wedding party. It is a bonding experience for them and makes them feel included. Your step-son will probably join the other teens after the meal, so you won't have him at your table all evening.
You've got a teenager who likes you enough to want to sit with you instead of with other teenagers? Thank your lucky stars, and let him sit with you! Believe me, there are much worse things a teenager could be doing.