Need help

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KirstieLou41 Posts : 3 Registered: 1/30/12
Need help
Posted: Feb 2, 2012 9:46 PM

I have found a date that both my fiance and myself love and would be perfect for both our complicated work schedules. The problem it is on a Thursday and others have mentioned that a thursday night wedding is "not practical" and people won't come and blah blah blah.... What are everyone else's thoughts??? I honestly think if someone can't take the day off to be at my wedding they probably don't care enough and I don't want them there in that case.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Need help
Posted: Feb 2, 2012 10:04 PM Go to message in response to: KirstieLou41

Dear Kirstie Lou,

The fact is that even if someone loves you and adores you they may not be able to take time off from work (travel etc) to attend your wedding. That's just a fact of life. Some people, especially those in the beginning of their career, have very little vacation time.

You may absolutely schedule your wedding for any day you like, including a Thursday. That is no problem. Send out invitations and see who accepts and declines.

Just understand that you will most likely have more declines and that doesn't mean the people involved don't love you and wish they could attend.

Personally, I would find it difficult to attend a wedding on a Thursday.

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jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Need help
Posted: Feb 3, 2012 3:35 PM Go to message in response to: KirstieLou41

I really hate the attitude of "if you can't be bothered to take 2 or 3 days off work (maybe even unpaid) and get a hotel room for a 1-4 nights and find childcare and pay to board your dog" then I don't want you at my wedding anyway!

There are very, very few people I could or would do that for (I don't have kids, but hypothetically). It doesn't mean there aren't many people I care deeply about.

Even people who aren't coming in from out of town might have work issues. Even for a local wedding, I can think of a million reasons why it wouldn't work for many people.

It took you and your FI time to sort through your schedules to find a date that will work for you to get married, and this is for your wedding. Does it really make sense to have an "I don't want them there anyway" attitude to people who also have work though difficult schedules?

Thursday night isn't practical. That doesn't mean you can't do it. It just means you need to take the focus off of yourself just a little bit and understand that a) people who love you might not be able to come, and b) no one cares about your wedding as much as you do.

Edited by: jjjune on Feb 3, 2012 3:35 PM

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KirstieLou41 Posts : 3 Registered: 1/30/12
Re: Need help
Posted: Feb 3, 2012 5:00 PM Go to message in response to: jjjune

The situation is difficult because my FH works what is called a "fireman shift" he goes to work on thursday he isn't off until tuesday night (he doesn't come home) the reason we prefer this thursday night wedding is because he could easily get away with asking for one week off, for our honeymoon and wedding, and only a few days would have to be covered, but if we wait and have a saturday wedding our honeymoon will run into an extra shift which someone will have to cover, and money we will loose. FH and I are paying for our entire wedding ourselves, so not only does it save us money for venue, dj, and photographer but works for us to pay other bills (rent).

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jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Need help
Posted: Feb 3, 2012 5:27 PM Go to message in response to: KirstieLou41

No one is saying you can't do a Thursday wedding or that your reasons aren't valid.
I'm just saying that your attitude about people who might not be able to make it sucks.

Edited by: jjjune on Feb 3, 2012 5:27 PM

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Need help
Posted: Sep 16, 2012 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: KirstieLou41

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