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Assuming or not?

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PhoneCardLady Posts : 6 Registered: 4/19/11
Assuming or not?
Posted: Jan 29, 2012 9:47 AM

If you ask someone if they want to do something, is it considered "assuming"? To me it is a yes or no question.

If you ask someone if they want to go to church and want a yes or no answer (so you can plan accordingly), is that "assuming"?

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Mirgonza8799 Posts : 4 Registered: 1/29/12
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Jan 29, 2012 3:47 PM Go to message in response to: PhoneCardLady

No, u just want to know for the head count! lol!!

ps. how did u add a picture to ur profile?

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MrsM2009 Posts : 422 Registered: 3/16/08
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Jan 29, 2012 3:51 PM Go to message in response to: PhoneCardLady

When you ask someone if they want to do something, there is a little bit of an assumption that they will probably like the thing you're asking about, and you're just seeing if they're available.

Normally I don't think someone would be offended that you've asked them to do something they don't like, but church is a special situation. If you asked me if I want to go to church with you I would a) be offended because you have forgotten I'm Jewish, b) be worried that you're trying to convert me, or c) be weirded out that you're trying to get me to come to YOUR church, when I'm perfectly happy at my own church.

P.O.O.P. - People Offended by Offended People

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Aunt Posts : 796 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Jan 29, 2012 5:44 PM Go to message in response to: MrsM2009

Ladies,

It's all in how you ask, and in what circs.

If you have a friend for whom you have done favors in the past, that friend might welcome a chance to even things up.

I have attended many Jewish worship services, in the spirit of "getting to know the neighbors", and in the same spirit have extended invitations to my church to Jews. There has been the occasional acceptance.

We are all adults and fully understand that no conversion attempts are expected.

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PhoneCardLady Posts : 6 Registered: 4/19/11
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Jan 29, 2012 6:42 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

This person has attended my church every week since March 2011. They had not been there in several weeks so I just wanted a heads up if they were coming or not.

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NiamhMaire Posts : 95 Registered: 6/7/12
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Jun 13, 2012 4:58 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Totally agree. It's all about the context and tone. It could sound like an invitation - It can come across as you sincerely asking whether or not someone whats to go somewhere - or else assuming as you said.

Bing/a> |

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EncoreDT Posts : 117 Registered: 5/29/12
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Jun 19, 2012 4:34 PM Go to message in response to: PhoneCardLady

It also depends on how you ask - how you word the question and the tone of voice you use. There are plenty of ways to ask that would generally be interpreted as "polite", where one can respond with a yes or a no. Similarly, there are more condescending ways to ask and other ways that cause people to put up resistance. All depends...


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wzq103 Posts : 2,771 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Sep 11, 2012 2:20 PM Go to message in response to: PhoneCardLady

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Kimberly212 Posts : 2,211 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Assuming or not?
Posted: Sep 17, 2012 7:21 PM Go to message in response to: PhoneCardLady

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