Honeymoon Registry

Online Users: 1,321 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 10
Guest
Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Feb 16, 2005 11:05 PM

I was told a honeymoon registry is a polite way to get money for your honeymoon. Does anyone know of a good site they would recommend and how they work? Would appreciate all the help>

Thanks,
Lisa in New Hampshire

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jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 13, 2012 7:33 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

travelersjoy and honeyfund are pretty popular.

The politeness of it is up for debate. Some say that it's really just asking for cash, which many believe to be rude. Also, the company takes a cut. Someone might think you'll be getting their $100, but you'll really be getting less. Also, others take objection with the fact that your guests will think they're actually buying you a massage in Bali (or whatever) but you're really just getting a check.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 13, 2012 11:24 PM Go to message in response to: jjjune

Dear JJ,

You answered a really old message.

I find honeymoon and other cash registries to be distasteful for exactly the reasons you mentioned. The website gets a cut out of the gift and the couple just get a bulk check (minus the cut) instead of the actual gifts.

Yech.

If I truly want to give a couple money for a honeymoon, I can easily hand them a check in an envelope with "For Your Honeymoon" on the outside. That way, 100% of my money goes to the couple. I could also call the hotel, resort, cruise line (etc) and directly purchase a gift to be delivered to the couple's room or cabin.

I did just that when my father married for the second time. I got together with my brother and new steps and sent a bottle of champagne to their cruise cabin.

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JasmineO2 Posts : 17 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 20, 2012 9:49 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think honeymoon registries are great if you do it right. My FI and I are using one, but we'll definitely use all the funds for what the guests intended. PLUS, we CAN pay for our honeymoon on our own. The registry will just be for all the little extras that we might not otherwise do.

We're using www.honeymoonpixie.com. They're a newer registry, but they have lower fees than everyone else. YES, a honeymoon registry will come with some fees, but regular gifts come with taxes and shipping fees, and they have to keep the website running somehow. We like Honeymoon Pixie because we can get the money out whenever we want (so we can make special reservations ahead of time) and because guests can pay online by credit card, which is very convenient for them.

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 20, 2012 10:32 PM Go to message in response to: JasmineO2

A pig with lipstick is still a pig....

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 27, 2012 1:34 PM Go to message in response to: MagicalMomentsP...

Dear Coco,

As I replied in your previous message,

"and I think most people can understand why you would ask for a contribution to the event instead of a traditional gift. "

GREED

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JessicaB2014 Posts : 8 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 27, 2012 10:16 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

I really just don't understand why a honeymoon registry is greedy when a regular registry is not. Either way, you're giving your guests an idea of what you would like for your wedding, and either way, they have a choice of whether or not to buy from the registry.

I do agree that you COULD deceive your guests about what you intended to use the money for, but if you actually use the money for the gifts they intend to buy for you, then I just don't see the problem. You COULD also get gifts from regular stores and just take them all back for cash, too!

The key, I think, is being up front with your guests about what such a registry means. Also, you could always have an alternative regular registry for guests who preferred to buy physical gifts.

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jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 27, 2012 10:52 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Aunt, I asked before in a different thread... how is saying "I'd like X experience" more greedy than saying "I'd like X object"?

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2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 28, 2012 12:33 AM Go to message in response to: jjjune

The problem with a honeymoon registry is that your guests are not actually buying you an experience. They are simply putting money into a fund, which you could then use for any purpose you wanted. This is different from, for example, a situation in which a guest buys you gift certificates for a couples massage, in which case they would actually be buying you an experience.

As for why a cash registry is bad, let's look back at the purpose of a regular registry. The purpose is not to demand that your guests buy you a gift. Rather, it is so that those guests who choose to buy you a gift instead of just giving money will know what kind of gift you would especially like.

That function does not exist for a cash registry (even if it is called a "honeymoon registry.") Your guests do not need to be told that you like cash--everyone does. And those guests who want to give you cash could do so by slipping some bills (or a check) into a card. Thus, the only function of a cash registry is to persuade your guests that they should give you cash, and suggest an amount. Since shaking your guests down for gifts is considered tacky, so is a cash registry.


Our wedding Web site and items for sale

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 28, 2012 11:43 AM Go to message in response to: 2dBride

Ladies,

It's the "slippery slope" issue.

Why have wedding registries in the first place? Wedding registries were invented in the day when it was common for people to host formal dinners for 12 guests. They needed place settings of china, silverware and crystal, all matching.

The bride registered a pattern, in china, silver and crystal, with the store.

Friends and family have several gift-giving options.

1. They buy something else for the house that they think the bride and groom might like.

2. If they don't know the couple well, they buy from the china/silver/crystal registry. A person on a budget could buy a single teaspoon. A deep-pocketed generous person could buy several place settings.

3. Cash.

Cash has always and will always be an option. There is no need to trumpet a preference for cash.

Since that time, wedding registries have exploded. Now a couple is handed a bar code reading appliance and told to wander around the store collecting gifts. The store gives them little cards to be included in the invitations. Thus, the guest who wants to buy a gift is presented with advertising from the store and a comprehensive list of what the couple wants.

As if registering for a toilet brush isn't tacky enough, we are going down the slippery slope to a new level: the cash registry.

Instead of registering for "things", we now have means to register for cash, thinly disguised as honeymoon experiences. (I have also seen registries where gift cards are the only desired items.)

If I go online and see exactly what toilet brush the couple wants, click to buy, then I can rest assured THAT PARTICULAR ITEM will be wrapped and delivered. The couple could go to the trouble of returning it for cash, but that's beyond my control.

If I go online and see the couple want "spa services" in their honeymoon registry, and I click to buy, all that happens is the couple gets a check in the amount of 7% less that what my credit card was charged.

I have nothing against the idea of buying "experiences" as a gift. I do that all the time. I take a friend out to lunch for her birthday. I buy minor league baseball tickets and go with another couple.

Part of the "gift experience" is enjoying the activity with the other person. That is impossible with a honeymoon gift experience, for obvious reasons. That is one of the problems with giving a "honeymoon experience".

Another problem, I have no way of knowning if the couple actually really partook of the experience, or if they just cashed the check and used it for their car payment.

Finally, there are perfectly acceptable, non-greedy options for the couple who would prefer cash gifts.

-Don't register anywhere.
-Use word-of-mouth to let people know you need cash more than stuff.

When asked about a registry, just respond with "We like surprises" or "We have enough 'stuff' already.".

You will get more cash gifts that way. Then, spend the cash on anything you like. If you want a load of honeymoon experiences, spend the cash there. If you need to pay off wedding bills or student loans, great.

Write an appropriate thank-you note, and you're done.

"Thank you for your generous gift. Thanks to your help, we upgraded our honeymoon room to a beautiful suite."

"Thanks for your generous gift. We have put that money towards a better future* and will think of your kindness for years to come." *we paid towards a student loan

There are perfectly acceptable alternatives for the wedding guest who wishes, out of the goodness of their heart, to give a honeymoon experience without being nudged in that direction.

-Give the couple an envelope with a check or cash and FOR YOUR HONEYMOON written on the outside.
-Contact the honeymoon location and arrange for the management to provide some good/service and send you the bill.

When my father married my step-mother, we kids and grandkids called the cruise line and ordered a bottle of champagne to be delivered to their cabin. Dad and Step-Mom did not get a check. Instead, they got the champagne.

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JessicaB2014 Posts : 8 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry
Posted: Jan 30, 2012 12:49 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Again, I still think it depends on how you use the registry. If you use the money as the guests intend for you to use it, then they really ARE buying you experiences for your honeymoon. Even the Emily Post Institute says that honeymoon registries and similar online options are a perfectly acceptable way to register for your wedding! If they say it, then I'm definitely going to believe it!

Also, guests still have an option. They don't have to get anything from your honeymoon registry and can, instead, just give you cash in an envelope on the day of the wedding if they prefer. The honeymoon registry just means they can specify what they want you to use the money for, and it means they can pay with a credit card or Paypal account or the like if they prefer.

I understand that registries were once used for a different purpose, but today most guests expect you to have a registry. Personally, I find it nice to get some direction from the bride and groom as to what they want and need so that I don't buy them something that I like but they don't.

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