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SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!

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WeddingInvitati... Posts : 22 Registered: 8/23/10
SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!
Posted: Jan 23, 2012 7:49 PM

So, we've been engaged for over a year, we planned a 2 year long engagement, and my sister in law just announced she's expecting. First off, I don't expect people to stop their lives to be in my wedding at all but this person told my sister she was planning to get pregnant around this time. She knew she'd be due around the date of the wedding and planned it that way! Now, sure enough, the expected due date is our date. I feel selfish saying this but I feel awful! I can just picture my shower turning into a baby shower with her family surrounding her and rubbing her belly the entire time! My fiance and I are both upset and we just don't see why she'd plan this? We've been planning our wedding and saving money so we could have what we always wanted and now this is giving me nightmares that she's going to give birth at the alter, or his mom and dad will miss our wedding bc she's in the hospital.

I am excited to have a niece or nephew and I'm happy she's happy but I can't help but feel like she just couldn't handle us having one day to be in the spotlight! I just want to have our wedding be about us, is that too much to ask!? She's a bridesmaid and her husband is a groomsmen btw.

Advice?

sister , in , pregnant , bridesmaid , law
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jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!
Posted: Jan 23, 2012 8:02 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingInvitati...

There's a million reasons why someone would plan to get pregnant at a certain time.. job concerns, finances, weather, health issues, vacation schedule, dreams of having a winter baby, whatever.

I can understand how it would be a bit of a bummer for you, but the chances are very, very good that her getting pregnant had absolutely nothing at all to do with you. Do you really think someone would plan a pregnancy to upstage you?

I really think this is the kind of situation that it's ok to be mildly annoyed about on the inside but you would come off as a horrid bitch if you let it be known that you're anything but thrilled.

So, my advice... tell her congrats!

Edited by: jjjune on Jan 23, 2012 8:10 PM

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WeddingInvitati... Posts : 22 Registered: 8/23/10
Re: SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!
Posted: Jan 23, 2012 10:38 PM Go to message in response to: jjjune

Yeah, I know! I agree and I am excited and did congratulate her but it's definitely a bummer. I have only voiced this on here and am only annoyed inside so no horrid bitch here, lol. I just hope it all works out!

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npgirl21 Posts : 10 Registered: 8/22/11
Re: SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!
Posted: Jan 24, 2012 11:55 AM Go to message in response to: WeddingInvitati...

Can you change your date? Not that its even fair to you to even consider it, or even have to. But so that your not sharing the spot light with her, or even having the possiblity of her going into labor that day. But remember no matter what she will have some of the spot light bc if you decided to change the date to before her due date you have people awwing over her belly, and if you have it after her due date she may not be in the wedding, or possibly bring the baby, so you have people awwing over the baby.

Again, not that you should even have to consider it because you guys have waited long enough to be married. Just a thought. But I would also feel like you do also. I could see my sister pulling somthing like this because she likes to be center of attention.

Good luck with!

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!
Posted: Jan 25, 2012 12:21 AM Go to message in response to: npgirl21

Hello,

Congratulations on your engagement, upcoming wedding and aunthood. There are a great many things you can control in life and an even greater number of things which you can't control. One of those being when a child is conceived or even chooses to arrive. It is entirely possible she will deliver the baby on your wedding day and will not be at the wedding. Other alternatives include a premature delivery or miscarriage. On the bright side, anytime you or your husband can't remember how long you've been married, all you have to do is ask your niece or nephew how old they are ;-)

Now when dealing with this situation as Aunt would say, you have your public face which is happy for the situation. In private you can think anything you want. Just don't let it affect how you act towards SIL or the baby. Happiness shared is doubled. In this case, you've two happy events at the same time and everybody will be overjoyed.

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


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Aunt Posts : 796 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!
Posted: Jan 25, 2012 10:32 AM Go to message in response to: WeddingInvitati...

Dear WI,

Within your Private Thoughts you can be mad, angry, upset, bummed, and think all kinds of evil things.

Your Public Expression must be that of a woman happy to get married and happy for the new baby.

Speaking as the mother of twins, who originally planned to have an Only Child, I can tell you from personal experience that babies come on their own time schedule.

Life happens. A wedding just sort of plops itself into Life.

I don't blame you for being upset, but you need to keep that in your private interior life.

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jackson132 Posts : 1,662 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: SIL Announces she's pregnant and due on our wedding date!
Posted: Sep 16, 2012 1:03 PM Go to message in response to: WeddingInvitati...

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bridal , wedding , dress
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