Honeymoon Registry?

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 29

flibbert2375 Posts : 7 Registered: 7/22/07
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 21, 2012 1:28 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

I recently got married and really liked having a honeymoon registry (we've been together 7 years and living together for more than half of that).

Our friends and family liked it because we're really into travel -- we even had a travel-themed cake!

We used a new service called Wanderable (wanderable.com) -- it's got a really cute design and it's free to use. I highly recommend it.

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katiem1 Posts : 3 Registered: 1/22/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 22, 2012 9:04 AM Go to message in response to: raeabfab

My fiance and I are using Deposit a Gift for a honeymoon registry and so far we really love it. Some people say it might be tacky or that guests can already give you money, but the truth is that most people won't give you money. If you don't provide them with an option, they'll take a guess. It's not that they're too "stupid" to get you something good, but they're biased by their own tastes and needs. They'll get what would make them happy, not you. If you really want cash, you have to ask for it and a honeymoon registry is the only way to do it nicely. After all our research, Deposit a Gift was our favorite. We loved how easy it is to set up and spread to our friends and their customer service has been so helpful. We really recommend it.

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Mols Posts : 5 Registered: 11/2/11
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 22, 2012 9:38 AM Go to message in response to: katiem1

We are using a similar unique gift registry called cashenbridalaccount.com. This account allows family, friends and guest to gift towards the flowers and decorations as a wedding gift. We can still use any floral shop or decorator we choose. It was easy to setup and and invite people to gift. My Aunt loved the idea because she will not be able to attend the wedding or reception and when she gifted to the account she put in her message to us that she loved this because it made her feel as if she could be there in spirit knowing she was part of the ceremony and reception. I never looked at it like that. I told my mother about what her sister said and at first she was upset for her not attending, but then as she thought about it, my mother said at least she cared enough to gift towards something she actually put thought into and cared about being there. What a great idea!!!!

I have told all my friends about this and they all love the idea, not all would do it, but what an excellent concept.
This site will send me all the thank you cards already printed and ready to send to those who gifted as well. I can even print off a thankyou to all my guest and a special thank you to those who contributed and place this on the gift table at the reception.
I don't mind gift registries for cash, but I understand it is not for all. I just found this one to be unique and different. Also helps me with stressing about costs all the time in budgeting for this wedding! Not that I won't, but every little bit helps! I love it!!!!

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MrsM2009 Posts : 422 Registered: 3/16/08
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 22, 2012 4:02 PM Go to message in response to: Mols

Wow, Mols - what you're doing is 79029374029375 times more tacky than a honeymoon registry. I can't even believe people sell a product like that.

P.O.O.P. - People Offended by Offended People

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Mols Posts : 5 Registered: 11/2/11
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 22, 2012 6:23 PM Go to message in response to: MrsM2009

Your right, cause everyone thinks like you! Exactly why I don't post on blogs, I am glad I can think for myself!

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JasmineO2 Posts : 17 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 22, 2012 7:16 PM Go to message in response to: MrsM2009

While I respect your point of view, I find it offensive to suggest that I would deceive my wedding guests (i.e. family and friends) and use their honeymoon gift money to pay my mortgage. In my world, there is TRUST between me and my guests. So this is never an issue.

It's also a shame that you felt compelled to provide a post full of misinformation. With our honeymoon registry, our guests see the 7% fee (not 10%) when they check-out. It is obvious and NOT hidden. And we receive the FULL gift amount. And guess what? No one has complained about the 7% fee (probably because they have no tax or shipping fees). Our guests love the idea of giving us something we really want! For some people, an amazing honeymoon experience is preferred over another china place-setting. In any case, it appears that most people who use a honeymoon registry also use a traditional registry. So wedding guests usually have a choice!

The negative spin that some people put on a positive experience drives me crazy.

Ladies, just read the actual posts from brides who have actually used a honeymoon registry and 98% of them love it!

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MrsM2009 Posts : 422 Registered: 3/16/08
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 22, 2012 7:16 PM Go to message in response to: Mols

When you host a party, you don't ask for your guests to pay for it. If I were invited to a wedding with a "please help us pay for the wedding" registry attached, there is no way in hell I would attend. I have a clueless work colleague who has a habit of throwing parties and asking his guests to bring beer, food, plates, napkins, etc. - he is a laughing stock. Whenever he sends out an email about a party, the "oh god, what are we going to have to bring this time" grumbles begin immediately.

P.O.O.P. - People Offended by Offended People

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jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 22, 2012 11:44 PM Go to message in response to: Mols

This idea rubs me the wrong way, but to each their own.

What I think is truly tacky is the pre-made thank you notes. I'm a firm believer that if someone gives you a gift, you take a minute to hand write a personal thank you card. I'm not easily offended, but I would think waaay less of a person who sent me a thank you note that's essentially a form letter.

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DeborahHuie Posts : 1 Registered: 1/23/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 23, 2012 11:51 AM Go to message in response to: JasmineO2

Thank you Jasmine02 for such a positive and informative post! I recently began planning my wedding and honeymoon and started visiting these boards for ideas and suggestions. What I didn't expect were posts and replies from mean inconsiderate brides who felt compelled to express their oft nasty opinions even when people didn't ask for it! Where's the love and support? Anyway, I digress!

We are using a honeymoon registry and LOVE the idea. We actually learned about Honeymoon Wishes (www.honeymoonwishes.com) from friends who used it and had a great experience. ALL of our friends and family love they idea because they know we love to travel and experience adventure. They also know we already have more "stuff" than we need. They'd rather buy us a piece a fun romantic gift than a candy dish from Gumps!

In any case, what we also loved about Honeymoon Wishes is that they're not just a cash registry - they offer the option for you to have gift monies coordinated to their hotel partners -- we are going to be honeymooning at the St. Regis on Kauai and rather than just getting cash, we chose to have the gift monies coordinated with the property so that we don't have to worry about getting the cash, taking it with us, etc. I thought that was a pretty cool option -- and it doesn't cost any more!

I do request to all the community -- as I'd like to continue to use these boards as a resource -- is that ALL brides try to be positive and share beneficial, useful advice rather than negative, opinionated comments. We're all already stressed out enough, please help me. Don't make me feel bad!

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MrsM2009 Posts : 422 Registered: 3/16/08
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 23, 2012 3:42 PM Go to message in response to: JasmineO2

I'm sorry you find it offensive for me to suggest that you are deceiving your wedding guests. But the truth is that most honeymoon registries are deceptive. It's great that yours only has a 7% fee and it's great that the fee is made public at checkout, but that is not the case with many honeymoon registries. So while my post may have been "full of misinformation" vis-a-vis your honeymoon registry, it is certainly not misleading with respect to all honeymoon registries. I've seen many honeymoon registries where the fee is not obvious. And your registry STILL doesn't make it clear to guests that you actually get a check for the money they put in, not a romantic candlelit dinner/scuba excursion/bottle of champagne.

Also, I'm sorry, but your comment that others should "just read the actual posts from brides who have actually used a honeymoon registry and 98% of them love it!" is completely idiotic. That's like saying "Ladies, just read the actual posts from people who are racist - 98% of them just love it!" Just because the people who are doing wrong are delighted with themselves doesn't mean it's ok. And the point here is not what the brides think, it's what guests think.

I once bought a close friend a gift from a Disneyworld honeymoon registry without knowing that there was a fee or that the couple would just receive cash. Trust me, when I found out I thought I had given her a specific gift worth $200 but really she was just getting $186 in cash, I did not "just love it." One of the things I bought them was a jetski excursion, and it turned out they just decided they didn't want to do it (which is how I found out how it worked - I asked them how it was). I love them and if they don't want to jetski that's fine with me, but I didn't like feeling as if I thought I'd bought one thing when really I'd bought something completely different. Mainly because if I had understood how it worked, I would have just given them $200 cash and not given a little slice to Disney.

P.O.O.P. - People Offended by Offended People

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MrsM2009 Posts : 422 Registered: 3/16/08
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 23, 2012 3:49 PM Go to message in response to: DeborahHuie

Welcome back, DJ1605!

Perhaps you'll never be able to grasp this, but when you post your issues publicly on the internet people can say whatever they want in response. If you post something stupid, they can call you stupid. If you post something greedy, they can call you greedy. Those responses are not necessarily mean or nasty. In most cases, they are simply honest opinions from people who have no personal relationship with you and, therefore, need not worry about hurting your feelings. People have opinions. Not all of them are going to be perfectly in line with yours. Get over it, and take the opinions as what they are - a reflection of what your family and friends might also be thinking of your behavior. To me, that is a critical service that a message board can serve. Everyone sitting around saying "I think your plan for a beanie baby themed wedding with a seventies color palate sounds absolutely divine!!" is not helpful to anyone.

I mean, do people not WANT to know if they're doing something rude or tacky? Why start a thread asking for opinions on honeymoon registries if you don't already suspect that some people may not like them? Why start a thread asking what you should do about your rash and foolish decision to have a quickie courthouse wedding before your already planned destination wedding if you don't already know that you've rubbed some people the wrong way?? When I ask opinions on something, it's usually because I'm worried that I might be committing a faux pas. I listen to the responses - good and bad - and weigh them in deciding what to do, even if some aren't what I expected or wanted to hear. When I know I'm in the right (or that I'm going to do what I want to do regardless of what people think), I don't ask for opinions about it because I don't need them.

P.O.O.P. - People Offended by Offended People

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AmandaKing Posts : 15 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 24, 2012 8:14 PM Go to message in response to: MrsM2009

I can see your argument, but I think it's up to the bride and groom to help their guests understand exactly what the honeymoon registry is. We've talked to lots of guests about our Honeymoon Pixie registry, and we always answer their questions honestly. Yes, there is a fee, and, yes, they are giving us cash - that we intend to use for the activities or events they intended to give us!

I totally agree with the comment about pre-printed thank you notes. That rubs me the wrong way, too. We read about other couples who use a honeymoon registry taking photos of themselves doing the things their guests gifted them with an including those in personalized thank you notes.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 25, 2012 10:43 AM Go to message in response to: AmandaKing

Ladies,

The purpose of an anonymous message board is to get people's honest opinions about some subject, not to get 100% positive opinions about the issue.

NATURALLY your own friends and family will express their delight at your plans. They don't want to hurt your feelings. They have a realationship with you that they value above being brutally honest about a planned actions.

Those who think it's a great idea will say so to your face. Those who think it's poor manners or tacky will figure out some diplomatic way to deal with you, either by saying nothing at all or some polite white lie. ("A lot of people think that's a great idea.")

If you want honest opinions from people who do not have a relationship with you and do not feel a need to tell you a polite white lie, then you come to an anonymous message board.

Sure, we try to be polite. But we are brutally honest and tell you what we think. You have to imagine that if several message board members (me included) from various walks of life think something is poor manners, then you might also imagine similar opinions exist in the minds of your own friends and relatives.

There are perfectly good alternatives to a honeymoon registry. One is to not register at all, not anywhere. You will get more cash if you do that, then can spend that cash on anything you want, honeymoon included.

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JasmineO2 Posts : 17 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 25, 2012 3:16 PM Go to message in response to: DeborahHuie

DeborahHuie - so glad to hear about your positive experience with your honeymoon registry! I share many of the same feelings that you expressed :) We too have had nothing but a positive experience, but we used HoneymoonPixie.com and couldn't be happier. I noticed they are on Brides, facebook, etc. and other couples have given them great reviews too.

What's important is to find a registry that meets your needs, makes your life easier, and that are trusted by other couples.

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Sep 14, 2012 12:24 AM Go to message in response to: raeabfab

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