Honeymoon Registry?

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raeabfab Posts : 5 Registered: 9/30/11
Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Oct 1, 2011 1:56 AM

I recently set up a Marriott Honeymoon Registry. I was wondering if anyone else has made one and if it ended up being worth it in the end. I don't want to send out the cards and then end up empty-handed.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Nov 26, 2011 1:51 AM Go to message in response to: raeabfab

Dear Rae,

Why would you advertise Marriott in your wedding invitations? Registry inserts are just free advertising for a commercial establishment, no more no less.

Second, if someone wants to give you cash, they can give you cash. They don't need a website for that. If they particularly want to give you cash for a honeymoon, they can just put the check in an envelope with "For Your Honeymoon" written on the outside.

I dislike cash registries. I feel it's the couple putting their hand in my wallet. A honeymoon registry is a cash registry.

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GraceKelly Posts : 15 Registered: 10/7/11
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Nov 30, 2011 10:13 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

I dunno...I disagree. I think it's kind of more modern. I don't know about everyone, but I know that I'm not married (yet!) and we already have like EVERYTHING. We have nice towels. We have china. We have a bread machine. There are probably a few things we'd find that I want to upgrade or the odd thing we want that we don't have, but mostly, we really don't need anything. And leaving it up to the guests could end up with stuff we already have or really don't need/want.

I don't love cash registries either, but a honeymoon registry is still a gift, it's just not a tangible one. People live alone for a long time before they're married and often have professional careers and because of that, they get their own stuff, so honeymoon and charity registries are a great way to give a gift that's a bit more useful to that kind of person :)

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Dec 1, 2011 10:19 AM Go to message in response to: GraceKelly

Dear Grace,

"And leaving it up to the guests could end up with stuff we already have or really don't need/want. "

Are your friends and relatives that stupid that they can't buy an appropriate gift for you without being told exactly what you want?

If you don't register, anywhere, you will get more cash gifts. Then you can spend the cash on anything at all. Honeymoon, donation to charity, 401(k), whatever.

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JenniferZ Posts : 6 Registered: 12/4/11
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Dec 5, 2011 12:23 PM Go to message in response to: raeabfab

I am a successful 40 yro woman marrying a career Marine. We have two complete households that we will be combining after our wedding. I am not registering for gifts and have considered a honeymoon registry as well. This is not our first marriage and we are paying for everything ourselves, including travel expenses for our out of state family. Guests have the option to help send us on our honeymoon or donate to a charity on our behalf. I would refrain from announcing your desires on invitations, word of mouth or on a personalized wedding website are more appropriate.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Dec 5, 2011 8:46 PM Go to message in response to: JenniferZ

Dear Jennifer,

"Guests have the option to help send us on our honeymoon or donate to a charity on our behalf."

They have that option whether or not you proactively announce it.

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ajmac Posts : 1 Registered: 12/8/11
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Dec 13, 2011 7:30 PM Go to message in response to: JenniferZ

HI Jennifer!

I couldn’t agree with you more. This is my 2nd marriage and my fiance and i have everything we already want and need. I don’t anything from Crate & Barrell or Ikea! My fiance is French and we found this wonderful website www.zankyou.com which is a cash registry. We put “symbolic” gifts in our website and we also set prices for each of the items and in return, we get the cash equivalent of all the gifts that we put in our registry. It is not obvious that it is a cash registry and we are only paying 2.85% handling fee.

I think as more and more couples are getting married older, we should embrace this trend. I also want to make it convenient for my guests so they dont have to leave their house and they can donate as little or as much as they can afford without setting a price on it.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Dec 13, 2011 7:56 PM Go to message in response to: ajmac

Dear AJ,

"I think as more and more couples are getting married older, we should embrace this trend."

What trend? Greed?

Greed has been around for a long time. You'll find it in the Bible.

If you want your guests to give you cash, just don't register anywhere. That way you will get 100% of your cash gifts, not 97.15%.

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JasmineO2 Posts : 17 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 17, 2012 7:38 PM Go to message in response to: raeabfab

We're using a registry through Honeymoon Pixie. So far we like it, and our guests have had good reactions, too. To us, it's not that much different from registering for stuff you need for around the house. Guests can still choose to buy or not buy from your registry.

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jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 18, 2012 9:13 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Aunt- How is saying you'd like an experience more greedy than saying you'd like a toaster, bedspread, or whatever?

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JasmineO2 Posts : 17 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 18, 2012 10:27 PM Go to message in response to: jjjune

I agree with jjjune! I mean, most couples will set up a registry one way or the other. I can see that a cash registry is problematic if you don't use the cash as guests intend. That seems a little rude. We're doing a Honeymoon Pixie registry and plan to use all the money for whatever the guests choose to gift us with!

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canadianmusicia... Posts : 6 Registered: 1/23/08
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 19, 2012 6:45 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Aunt, I usually enjoy your responses, but I think your responses are a little testy right now...

If people want to register for activities for their honeymoon rather than material goods, then that's their choice. Maybe they don't need a whole lot of stuff, and would rather celebrate their union with snorkeling excursions, wine tastings, art galleries, etc. We give these kinds of gifts at Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries... So why should a wedding be any different? Personally, I would much rather get my friend a really awesome Seine cruise for their wedding, than some stupid toaster that matched their potholders or whatever. Shared experiences are what make a relationship: not material goods. If I really felt the need to GIVE something tangible, I would buy their scuba day, cut out a picture of some scuba-divers, paste on their faces, and then put it in a nice frame that they can re-use later for their own photo.

Perhaps the answer is to have a very small gift registry for those guests who would like to gift in a more traditional way, and then have the honeymoon registry for others.

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MrsM2009 Posts : 422 Registered: 3/16/08
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 20, 2012 8:51 AM Go to message in response to: canadianmusicia...

My issue with honeymoon registries has less to do with an aversion to registering for cash, and more to do with the fact that honeymoon registries are very deceptive.

When you set up a honeymoon registry, you list all the honeymoon things you want for your honeymoon, and the end product doesn't look all that different than a traditional registry. When I, as your wedding guest, look at the registry I can choose to buy you a night at the hotel, a romantic dinner on the beach, or a couples massage. The deceptive part is this: when I buy you a set of pots on a traditional registry, the exact set of pots that I purchased is boxed up and shipped to you (if I shop online), or I walk out of the store carrying it. I know exactly what you got and I know exactly what I paid for the product, tax, and shipping.

However, when I buy you a $200 couples massage you don't actually get a couples massage. You get a check for $180 (the $200 I spent, less the 10% fee that the honeymoon registry takes). You could spend that $180 on a couples massage or you could spend it paying your mortgage. Even though I think I've given you a specific gift, I've just given you cash. Even worse than that, I haven't even given you as much cash as I thought I gave you since the registry took out a fee. If you wanted to take the cash you got from the honeymoon registry and actually buy a couples massage you couldn't even do it because the massage costs $200 and you only have $180. If I had known I was just giving you a check, I would rather have just given you a check for the full $200.

The information registry fees are usually tucked in the corner of a website, and I bet 90% of guests who purchase from a honeymoon registry don't realize they've paid a fee to the website. I'd also bet that most people who purchase off a honeymoon website think you're getting the thing they bought you instead of a cash payout. Isn't it going to be a little weird when you decide not to do the couples massage, and I ask you how it was when you get back? I don't know - I just find the whole process shady. And, unfortunately, the people who will probably be most irked about it are the ones who are least likely to really understand what they're buying (i.e., your no so internet savvy Grandma Betty).

P.O.O.P. - People Offended by Offended People

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MrsM2009 Posts : 422 Registered: 3/16/08
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 20, 2012 8:55 AM Go to message in response to: canadianmusicia...

Canadian - you mentioned that we give this kind of gift all the time for birthdays, Christmas, etc. I actually love giving "experiences" as gifts - I regularly give people tickets to shows or concerts, a voucher to take some kind of class, or a gift card to a restaurant.

The difference between that and a honeymoon registry is that when I give those things I actually give the thing I think I'm giving. If I want to buy someone tickets to see Wicked, I actually go on ticketmaster and buy them. On a honeymoon registry, I think I'm giving a couples massage when I'm actually giving the couple cash (and less cash value than I think I'm giving them).

If someone wants to give you a particular experience, they can do that. My aunts did this for my wedding - they contacted the hotel we were staying at for our honeymoon and booked us a snorkel excursion and a romantic dinner on the beach. They actually purchased and paid for what they wanted to buy. It's a totally different kettle of fish than a honeymoon registry.

P.O.O.P. - People Offended by Offended People

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Honeymoon Registry?
Posted: Jan 21, 2012 7:56 AM Go to message in response to: MrsM2009

Dear Mrs M,

"The difference between that and a honeymoon registry is that when I give those things I actually give the thing I think I'm giving."

Exactly.

Besides, if you give someone tickets to an event for (say) a birthday, you are likely to accompany them. "Hey, I'm going to take you to the Big Game for your birthday! Surprise!"

When you give someone something off the honeymoon registry, you won't be accompanying them. Thus, you have no way of knowning if they actually participated in the activity or just cashed the check for something less than the money you paid.

Howard said it so well. If you put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig.

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