Small wedding...big Engagement party..ok to ask for gifts???

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 5

Hibbs03 Posts : 9 Registered: 1/6/12
Small wedding...big Engagement party..ok to ask for gifts???
Posted: Jan 6, 2012 5:42 PM

Just wondering if anyone can tell me what the etiquette is for asking for gifts at our Engagement party instead of the wedding.

We are having a destination wedding in October and not many people are coming because of the cost - so we are only having a select few at our wedding and not asking our wedding guests for gifts because of the expense involved in travelling.

As we have a lot of friends and family that wont be attending our wedding we are going to hold a large engagement party at a restaurant..similar to a reception i guess...but no where near as formal...is it ok to ask for gifts on the engagement invitations and if so...any ideas in how to word 'sorry your not invited to the wedding...just the engagement so give us a present now if you want'..in a nice way??

Any advice would be great!!

Reply

jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Small wedding...big Engagement party..ok to ask for gifts???
Posted: Jan 6, 2012 7:55 PM Go to message in response to: Hibbs03

I don't think there's a nice way to do this. It's customary to bring a gift to a wedding, but not to an engagement party (at least the ones in my circle). Registering for an engagement party is pretty much telling your guests "You're good enough to buy me stuff, but not to come to my wedding."

Reply

Hibbs03 Posts : 9 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Small wedding...big Engagement party..ok to ask for gifts???
Posted: Jan 6, 2012 7:59 PM Go to message in response to: jjjune

Yea i completely see your point...would you suggest doing a wedding registry anyway for the guests attending our wedding? - i just dont want to be greedy!.

Reply

jjjune Posts : 60 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Small wedding...big Engagement party..ok to ask for gifts???
Posted: Jan 6, 2012 8:01 PM Go to message in response to: Hibbs03

Registering for your wedding is a-ok. :)
Some people may give you engagement gifts, btw. My fiance and I got a few before STDs were even sent. But don't ask for them!

Reply


Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Small wedding...big Engagement party..ok to ask for gifts???
Posted: Jan 7, 2012 9:26 AM Go to message in response to: Hibbs03

Dear Hibbs,

It is totally not OK to:

1. Have an engagement party with a guest list bigger than the actual wedding.

2. Ask for gifts at the engagement party.

3. Tell wedding ceremony guests not to give you gifts.

It is insulting to say to someone "You are good enough to give me a gift, but not good enough to invite to the ceremony." Similarly, it is insulting to say "I will decide for you that you cannot afford both the travel and a gift."

Instead:

Invite everyone to the wedding. Those who want to come can come. Those who cannot can decline. Then you are in the clear for a large engagement party. If a person is so inclined to give you a gift, they can do so out of the goodness of their heart, not because they are so directed by you one way or the other.

Reply

wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Small wedding...big Engagement party..ok to ask for gifts???
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 1:24 AM Go to message in response to: Hibbs03

Save up to 28% off on New Trend Wedding Dress,the price is just $236.95, It's the cheapest,bug gorgeous dress.

http://www.juliebridalshop.com/sheath-sweetheart-neckline-strapless-chiffon-wedding-dress-style-marion-p-33799.html

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine