Open Invitation Wedding

Online Users: 1,294 guest(s), 2 user(s). Replies: 6

kate_m Posts : 10 Registered: 12/14/11
Open Invitation Wedding
Posted: Dec 14, 2011 4:54 PM

We're planning a very non-traditional wedding, including opting for an "open invite" policy. I'm pretty confident we can pull it off, but I'd love to have some people to bounce ideas off of.

The basic idea is to skip the entire catered reception thing (reducing the price per guest to zero) and making sure everyone understands they should not be bringing us gifts (only fair if we're not feeding them). It's an outdoor location that can support hundreds of people if needs be, but will also be just fine if we only have twenty. Also, dodgeball.

What do you think?

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Open Invitation Wedding
Posted: Dec 14, 2011 5:40 PM Go to message in response to: kate_m

Dear Kate,

"The basic idea is to skip the entire catered reception thing (reducing the price per guest to zero) and making sure everyone understands they should not be bringing us gifts (only fair if we're not feeding them)."

Whoops.

What do you expect the people who do show up to eat and drink? Are they supposed to brown-bag their own food?

Um, no.

If you want to leave it totally open-ended, just write your invitation and then when someone tells you they are coming, make a note so you'll have an approximate head count.

Get deli platters from Cosco to serve the approximate numbers you think might show up, plus a keg of beer and assorted sodas in a picnic cooler with ice. Get someone REALLY trustworthy to keep track of the numbers and if more show up than orginally expected, that person would dash to Costco to get a couple of more deli platters.

It is really rude to invite someone to a party and offer them NO food nor drink.

You want to balance it out by telling them you don't expect presents.

No one "officially" expects presents. Gifts are a voluntary offering from the gift-giver to the recipient. You cannot tell someone "Don't bring me a gift" and you especially cannot add "Because I cannot afford to give you so much as a slice of cake and a cup of soda pop."

There's nothing wrong with "non-traditional". Lots of people do things that aren't totally tradiational. Brides wear colored dresses, they walk in together with their fiancÚ, they yell "Yahoo!!!" at the end. All great.

Providing some amount of food and drink is just basic hospitality, not "tradition". If some also give you a gift, great, you accept graciously and write a nice thank you note later.

"Also, dodgeball. "

Sounds like fun.

You need to let people know to wear sports clothes so they can play dodgeball without worrying about messing up the lavender chiffon and spraining their ankle in high heels.

Try something like this:

We are taking the plunge!
Sue and Bob will get married on xx/xx/xxxx
Central Park
Your town, ZZ
at 2:00 pm

Everyone is invited! Even you! Bring your friends!

Sports games and an informal reception following the ceremony, so wear your play clothes.

(Please make our lives easier and let us known if you are coming, how many in your group and if you have any special needs. xxx-xxx-xxxx or your email @ email . com)

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kate_m Posts : 10 Registered: 12/14/11
Re: Open Invitation Wedding
Posted: Dec 14, 2011 5:53 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

"You are cordially invited to our awesome wedding!

We will have a ceremony at the common, followed by games and music. Please pack a picnic lunch for the day, as we're not feeding you.

***NO GIFTS*** "

Seems like it would make it pretty clear. I'm also a professional web designer, so I plan on making a nice site for the wedding complete with FAQ.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Open Invitation Wedding
Posted: Dec 15, 2011 10:05 AM Go to message in response to: kate_m

dear Kate,

So if I genuinely want to give you a gift just because I love you and want to contribute to your new life, you're going to throw it right back in my face?

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Open Invitation Wedding
Posted: Dec 20, 2011 11:54 AM Go to message in response to: kate_m

That's very nice of you to not want gifts from your guests. I can see money isn't important. However, I think it's fair to atleast offer some type of snack and drinks for your guests. Some guests may be traveling from far away and it's only fair that they eat something. I think it's kinda tacky to have them bring their own food.

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Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

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MikaylaK Posts : 53 Registered: 5/23/10
Re: Open Invitation Wedding
Posted: Jan 3, 2012 11:56 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Ouch!

"As we're not feeding you." That's bound to be the rudest invitation wording I've ever seen!

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nubian19 Posts : 1 Registered: 1/3/12
Re: Open Invitation Wedding
Posted: Jan 3, 2012 3:31 PM Go to message in response to: kate_m

Actually your idea is great. I attended an open invite wedding of a young couple in their 20's from my church. They rented out a nice hall for 350.00, someone offered to cater the food, and they turned the bar into an Ice Cream Bar with toppings and drinks, and an a dance floor. So majority of the budget was spent on the dress, tux, ring, and dj. So hope this idea helps cuz that is what I am gonna do and it was not cheap or shabby.

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