What do you do when someone makes herself Maid of Honor?
Posted: Oct 3, 2011 4:13 PM
My brother's girlfriend who is a friend of mine seems to have appointed herself as Maid of Honor. My mom told me that she has said on several occasions that she is MOH when I'm not around.
Thing is, I have yet to pick a single bridesmaid, let alone the maid of honor, and she's not one of the people I would choose.
Right now I'm playing dumb and when she brings up the topic of bridesmaids, I just say "Well the wedding is a year away, there's still time to think about all that."
I've intentionally not mentioned anything to her in case things go south between her and my brother. I think it would be rather disrespectful for me to have his ex as a bridesmaid, and frankly, if she breaks my brother's heart, I want nothing to do with her anymore.
I know I'm gonna have to break it to this girl eventually (and I'm dreading it), but what is the best way to do it? Or do I not even talk to her about it and just choose who I want?
The next time you see her and she brings it up you need to nip it in the bud. Just tell her you have not decided on your bridal party, let alone MOH and you have no idea how she might have thought otherwise. Then change the subject. If she comes back to this, say that if you decide you want her to be in the bridal party, you will let her know at that time and drop the subject. Give her the evil eye if she keeps it up.
I had a similar situation before I was even engaged. One of my friends who I wasn't so close to said rather threateningly, "I better be your maid of honor." I avoided the subject for a while and eventually things went sour with her (not because of that) and I don't have that problem anymore since becoming engaged. It did make me think of ways to express myself for situations like this though...
I think the best thing is to just tell her that you may become closer to her but you have to put things in place your way. Make sure she knows that you have plenty of people's feelings to consider while wedding planning and not to take it personally.