Gesture supporting gay marriage

Online Users: 1,285 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 21


2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: Gesture supporting gay marriage
Posted: Oct 30, 2011 2:49 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Aunt:

That gets back to the distinction you always make between private thoughts and public expressions. At the wedding, NotFroofy expressed only happiness for the couple and joy in their wedding. The tears were only in private.

At the same time, I don't think it is inappropriate for a couple that benefits from marriage and all the social approval it brings to make a brief statement to the effect that they wish that was available for all couples, of whatever orientation.


Our wedding Web site and items for sale

Reply


Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Gesture supporting gay marriage
Posted: Oct 30, 2011 10:39 AM Go to message in response to: 2dBride

Dear 2nd,

Your wife sounds like a grown-up, mature woman, and you are lucky to have her. Good for her.

"At the same time, I don't think it is inappropriate for a couple that benefits from marriage and all the social approval it brings to make a brief statement to the effect that they wish that was available for all couples, of whatever orientation."

I agree 100%.

I am, obviously, not planning a wedding, but in day-to-day life I have expressed the opinion that since my own marriage is happy, I wish the same happiness for same-sex couples. Marriage, between people who want to get married, is a stabilizing factor on human society. I would love to see that stability extended to everyone.

Ah, but enlightenment comes incrementally. Let's rejoice that DADT has been repealed.

Reply


anne11235813 Posts : 58 Registered: 11/15/08
Re: Gesture supporting gay marriage
Posted: Oct 31, 2011 1:28 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Dear Aunt,

you say "Marriage, between people who want to get married, is a stabilizing factor on human society. I would love to see that stability extended to everyone."

Kudos to you for this liberal mindset!

But then I really don't get why it would bother you so much if this very declaration would be given at a wedding.

I agree with 2ndbride (I think she said this) that talking about equal rights for all members of our society doesn't include the necessity to talk about sex.

If your children really would ask you what marriage of a same sex couple means you can explain this with civil rights, equal right to happiness for everyone etc. pp. Besides, if children are mature enough to ask the question they are also mature enough to hear the answer.

Or would you tell a child who wants to know where the babies come from that the stork brings them? Or the bee story? You can explain the "real thing" without indulging into a sex talk.

Just imagine a different scenario: wind time back about 50 or 60 years when civil rights were only for white people. Now replace the same sex couple with an inter-racial couple. Then ask yourself if we would have the same discussion if someone suggested the inter-racial couple should have the same rights as a white couple or a black couple.

My impression is that no one would suggest the topic inapropriate for a wedding attended by children.

Reply


Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Gesture supporting gay marriage
Posted: Oct 31, 2011 5:46 PM Go to message in response to: anne11235813

dear Anne,

"But then I really don't get why it would bother you so much if this very declaration would be given at a wedding. "

Declaring that "we support marriage for everyone" at a wedding, in the presence of children, would not bother me in the least. Go for it.

What would bother me would be more crude or detailed statements, again, in the presence of children.

As a mother, I want to bring up certain topics with my children on my own schedule. If my young children are invited guests at a wedding, I expect the hosts to maintain a family-friendly atmosphere.

Here are some family-friendly statements a couple might make in support of same-sex marriage equality:

-We support marriage for everyone.
-We look forward to a day when everyone has the freedom to marry the person they love.
-We hope the day will come when full civil rights are available to everyone.

If you are inviting children to your wedding, and you want to make any kind of statement of any kind, keep it family-friendly, please.

If your wedding is strictly adults-only, then you have more latitude.

"Just imagine a different scenario: wind time back about 50 or 60 years when civil rights were only for white people."

I don't have to just imagine. I am 57 years old. I can well remember. I was born in the same year as the Brown v Board of Education decision.

Reply


FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Gesture supporting gay marriage
Posted: Oct 31, 2011 7:02 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

I think what everyone is saying, if I'm following this thread correctly, is why not just say for the gay & lesbian community. If a little kid asks, alls you have to explain is that sometimes men fall in love with other men, and sometimes women fall in love with other women. You really can't hide the fact that people are gay and lesbian until a child reaches a certain age. What happens when your at the mall with your toddler and he/she notices 2 men holding hands? What happens when your kinder-gardeners best friend has 2 mommies?

Reply


Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Gesture supporting gay marriage
Posted: Nov 1, 2011 1:11 AM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

Dear Mrs L,

"If a little kid asks, alls you have to explain is that sometimes men fall in love with other men, and sometimes women fall in love with other women. "

Like other civil rights issues, it's not theoretical for me. I raised two children in the 1980s and 1990s. My children have gay (but not lesbian) relatives within our somewhat extended family. My step-sister was married to a gay man who tried very hard to not be gay, and failed. They divorced, but truly remained good friends and good parents to their daughter. That daughter came to live with us following the death of her father followed, later, by the death of her mother. For two years, I had three teenagers in the house, one of whom was in profound grief, and all of whom had surging hormones.

Please believe me, I am very well experienced in teaching children and teenagers about the birds and the bees, as well as the birds and the birds and/or the bees and the bees.

As I have said before, as a mother, I want these conversations to be on a schedule I deem appropriate for my child. It is not just the issue of sex, homo- or heterosexual. There are myriads of issues that I, as a mother, want to teach my child when I deem it's appropriate for the child to learn. Money, status symbols, video games, violent movies, military issues, war are all sensitive topics that I wish to control, at least while my child is in his tender years.

Can I put my child in a bubble? SURE I'D LIKE TO. I'd like to protect my sweet innocent baby and keep him sweet and innocent for the rest of his life.

But I can't.

Every day of my child's life is a day closer to the point where he becomes independent of his parents. It is my job to prepare him for that moment. I don't need well-meaning poeple to lay their agenda on him before I think he's ready.

(Re-reading this I notice I'm using the masculine gender. I have two sons, so "my child" is a male.)

I totally have no problem with a statement in support of full civil rights. Fabulous, wonderful, do it with my blessing.

Just keep it family-friendly if children are present.

"We support marriage for everyone" is family-friendly.

Reply

jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Gesture supporting gay marriage
Posted: Dec 24, 2012 3:37 PM Go to message in response to: MHE2828

Wedding dresses from famous wedding designers are promoting now.
http://www.okaydress.com/wedding-dress-designers-c-65.html
Mori Lee Wedding Dress Style 1242 is just $349.99.

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine