Bridesmaid/Groomsman drama

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futuremrshayes1 Posts : 8 Registered: 1/18/11
Bridesmaid/Groomsman drama
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 5:30 PM

I am less than four months away from my wedding (December 17th). My fiancee has two good friends, a husband and wife who have been my FH's friends for YEARS. Let's call them Edward and Jean.

I have become very good friends with Jean over time and wanted her to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. Edward was already a groomsmen so i thought it would be really sweet to have them both in our wedding party. There is another couple in our wedding party and it really is a sweet thing. I asked Jean, she said absolutlely. FH asked Edward and he said of course!

Edward and Jean had the "perfect" marriage. Until all hell broke lose this summer and a LOT of crap-o-la came to the surface and their marriage fell apart. This close-knit group of friends have been left in a complete state of shock.

At first it seemed that they could reconcile but they have now signed divorce papers, divided up the property and she has given back her rings. Edward thinks that it can be salvaged and they will reconcile but we on the outside of the relationship dont' think so. Jean doesn't think so either.

He is going to be a groomsman no matter what because he is a really good friend of my FH. My question is, what the heck am I supposed to do about Jean? She and I are still friends. We still hang out and stuff.
Edward says he doesn't think he could handle it if she was a bridesmaid and he was a groomsman but they weren't together or working towards reconciliation.

I don't have a CLUE as to what to do. This is not a situation that I have run across. And it is not like I had any indication that this was going to happen. It just exploded and caught everyone off guard.

Please help. Should I tell her to step down (she has already bought a dress, etc.) or should I arrange that they aren't together in the line up? I just don't know what to do.

Thank you all

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EmilyEastondotcom Posts : 38 Registered: 7/16/11
Re: Bridesmaid/Groomsman drama
Posted: Sep 6, 2011 9:17 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrshayes1

Aunt's advice is right on the money as to what you say to them. My crystal ball says Jean will then ask to bow out. Maybe she is waiting for you to bring up the subject.

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cellabowi Posts : 6 Registered: 10/13/11
Re: Bridesmaid/Groomsman drama
Posted: Oct 18, 2011 2:08 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrshayes1

You might just want to leave the decision to Jean. You can ask her how she feels about still being a bridesmaid. Call her/meet her in person and tell her that you would love to have her in your wedding (if you still do), but that you understand that the situation might be uncomfortable for her and you understand if she may want to step down.
This way you don't have to "kick her out", and she'll know that you two are still good friends.

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