HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!

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mmo0023 Posts : 2 Registered: 7/31/11
HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!
Posted: Jul 31, 2011 5:12 PM

Hey all,

Planning for my August 2012 wedding has been everything but fun so far. My FMIL is ALREADY throwing a big fuss about my decision to want an adult reception only.

Currently the guest list is between 300-350 people!! My fiance has a LARGE family that includes 200+ of the guests, not including kids; my family accounts for 50, including kids. I feel bad for my parents who are paying for the entire wedding, and I dont want them to be paying for my wedding for the rest of their lives.

Am I being out of line for wanting an adult only reception? Please help!

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!
Posted: Jul 31, 2011 9:32 PM Go to message in response to: mmo0023

If your parents are paying, I'd say it's there choice. Is money the only reason? If so, tell her she needs to fork up some $$$, especially since your parents are already paying for so many of her family. What does your groom think about it? Does he also want adults only? I would have him deal with his mom, no need to burn bridges with your FMIL before she's your actual MIL.

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262run Posts : 2 Registered: 8/17/10
Re: HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!
Posted: Aug 5, 2011 11:17 AM Go to message in response to: mmo0023

Whoever is paying makes the final decision.

Give her the list of family that will be invited (NO DEBATING THIS). She is not paying and therefore has no dog in this fight.

QUIT talking wedding with her. SHE IS NOT PAYING.

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JJSmeeb Posts : 1 Registered: 9/20/11
Re: HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!
Posted: Sep 20, 2011 2:32 PM Go to message in response to: mmo0023

IMO: You need to tell a mixture of a truth and little lie. Write in a hand written to your FMIL, "(insert name), the number of guests that you would like to invite is not practical for our space and logistics of the event. Both FI and I are interested in having a max of (# guests- less 60= n.). In order to come to this number, there are some decisions that must be made by you, based off your preference for family members. However, you are in luck because the venue we selected requires an insurance policy and our insurer has a clause about children at the wedding. Children are simply not allowed due to the liability issues when children are on the premises. I know that you are absolutely reasonable and will tailor the list more precisely to our interests. However, if you feel that your family will be offended, then I suggest you should consider hosting an additional reception for us after our actual wedding, where you can plan according to your sole desires.I look forward to becoming a part of your family and would like to start on honest footing. Your happiness is important to me, but I need some help from you to have a wedding that is workable for both parties."

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evelinasiegel Posts : 7 Registered: 8/8/10
Re: HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!
Posted: Sep 20, 2011 3:05 PM Go to message in response to: JJSmeeb

I love JJSmeeb's response

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!
Posted: Sep 20, 2011 6:31 PM Go to message in response to: JJSmeeb

IMO: You need to tell a mixture of a truth and little lie Write in a hand written to your FMIL..... look forward to becoming a part of your family and would like to start on honest footing. Your happiness is important to me, but I need some help from you to have a wedding that is workable for both parties."

You can't be honest if you are telling a lie. What happens if you tell this little lie and in the banquet room next door there are kids? This little lie can lead to big troubles.

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


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onlyone1147 Posts : 13 Registered: 10/12/11
Re: HELP! FMIL already upset about wedding plans!
Posted: Oct 12, 2011 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: mmo0023

sounds like mine. You need to talk to your fiance and get him on your side, then tell her its your wedding, and if she gets mad. Well she will get over it, its not the end of the world. If its about money you cant do anything about it. What is your fiance family putting towards the wedding, Its YOUR wedding not hers!

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