Asked by another bride to change date...

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littleone12 Posts : 1 Registered: 7/24/11
Asked by another bride to change date...
Posted: Jul 24, 2011 1:13 AM

I wanted to reach out and see if I was in the wrong here. I was engaged in January and I decided to plan a wedding for next May. My friend was engaged in March. I told both of them that I was planning to have my wedding on May 19th and since I will be having a destination wedding, I already started to put the word out. The following weekend I received a text from the groom of the other couple asking how "set" my date was because apparently they were considering that weekend and the venue they wanted was also available. I really wanted that date so I told them sorry, I'm not changing it. In actuality I have nothing booked and none of my guests have anything booked so am I being selfish? Is it ok that I feel really insulted they would even ask?

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Asked by another bride to change date...
Posted: Jul 24, 2011 10:01 AM Go to message in response to: littleone12

Dear LO,

I agree with Cat. You set your date first, you have every right to stick with that date.

We often say "You get a day. You don't get a month. You don't get a year." when brides want to black out a giant amount of time for their wedding "spotlight".

You do get a day, and that's your day.

However...

Since you have no solid plans for that date and since changing would not really botch anything up, why not change it just to be nice? If you have any particular sentimental reason to stick with your date, then don't.

If there's no particular reason to stick with it and if you are so inclined to be nice, then why not switch?

von Bismarck said "Politics is the art of the possible". Sometimes Life is like that, too. Sometimes you just have to give. Shit Happens.

***************

Some years back, a friend's daughter announced her engagement and Nov 1 as the wedding date. A few weeks later, the friend's other daughter announced her pregnancy and a Nov 1 due date. In a heartbeat, the wedding date was changed to the following February. The kid was born Oct 31 (Halloween! Yay!) and attended the wedding as "Flower Baby".

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BenitaKriger Posts : 1 Registered: 7/24/11
Re: Asked by another bride to change date...
Posted: Jul 24, 2011 7:27 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

good idea

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LJ2012 Posts : 19 Registered: 6/15/11
Re: Asked by another bride to change date...
Posted: Jul 25, 2011 9:25 AM Go to message in response to: BenitaKriger

I think that you should keep the date that you were planning on. :)

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Asked by another bride to change date...
Posted: Jul 25, 2011 5:50 PM Go to message in response to: littleone12

I think I would be momentarily annoyed, but not insulted to the extent it sounds like you are, only because it sounds like they asked you in a nice way, and it also sounds like they were probably of the attitude that "It doesn't hurt to ask." If their request were more demanding, then yes, I would feel insulted, but it sounds like they were just asking just in case.

That said, you have every right to keep the date, but like Aunt says, if you feel like being nice and if these are people that are generally good people and have historically been good friends to you, then change it. If they have a history of being demanding and don't give to the friendship, then don't change.

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EmilyEastondotcom Posts : 38 Registered: 7/16/11
Re: Asked by another bride to change date...
Posted: Jul 26, 2011 1:10 PM Go to message in response to: littleone12

I agree with Aunt's thinking, especially because the other groom seemed to be gently asking and not being pushy. Of course you have every right to stick to your date ... but if you could switch, what an act of kindness! Somehow I think the universe would repay you.

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JessicaB2014 Posts : 8 Registered: 1/6/12
Re: Evil Vendor
Posted: Feb 5, 2012 12:38 PM Go to message in response to: EmilyEastondotcom

I would definitely agree with Aunt that it depends. Sounds like it wouldn't be too hard for you to change your date, and maybe it's difficult for them to get the venue they want. It's worth thinking about if you're really good friends!

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