Maid of Honor Dilemma

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jcooperdt Posts : 3 Registered: 7/16/11
Maid of Honor Dilemma
Posted: Jul 20, 2011 11:01 PM

So I am having and issue deciding who should be my maid of honor. Before I graduate high school (2008), me and my old best friend, Theresa,always knew we would be each other's maid of honor. But after we graduated we grew apart and we barely talk. So my first dilemma is whether or not she should still be a bridesmaid. We have been friends since 6th grade and a part of me feels like I want to include her, but the rest of me feels like we don't talk or hang out enough anymore for her to be included. I also feel like she would be really upset if I didn't include her.

My main dilemma though is who should be my maid of honor. The girl who I consider my best friend now, or my brother's girlfriend, who I am also very close with. My brother is going to be my fiancées best man, so my mom says that his girlfriend should be my maid of honor. But I feel like my best friend would do better at all of the maid of honor planning duties. I really don't know which one I am going to ask. I am close with both of them and I could see both of them being my maid of honor.

What does everyone think??

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Ahssa Posts : 2 Registered: 5/10/11
Re: Maid of Honor Dilemma
Posted: Jul 21, 2011 8:18 AM Go to message in response to: jcooperdt

Solution 1
Two heads are better than one
Why not have both?
As far as walking down the isle you have one on each arm of the Best Man so no one feels secondary. If you choose to go this route I would schedule a girls night out and ask them both at the same time again so no one feels secondary.

Solution 2
Go with your gut
Just because your brother is going to be the Best Man doesn't necessitate his girlfriend to be your MOH. You already said that you think your friend would do better planning, but here is the big thing: picture your wedding, who do you see as your MOH?

Whoever you choose be sure to include the other in someway, maybe she's a bridesmaid, maybe she does something else. For instance, I am only having 1 MOH (my BF) and 1 BM (my sister), so my sister-in-law is going to be in charge of my guest book and programs.

Solution 3
Maid or Matron?
Ok, so this is a similar solution to my first suggestion but with a title difference. Obviously you brothers girlfriend isn't married yet, but is your best friend?
If yes the you could ask your BF to be you Matron of Honor and your Bro's GF to be your Maid of Honor.

____

As for you other friend, people grow apart but if you have plenty of time before your wedding get a hold of your friend and reconnect. Before you go asking her to be a bridesmaid just because you think she'll be upset, make sure that she is someone you want to have share that big moment with you.

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WinterBride22 Posts : 15 Registered: 6/16/11
Re: Maid of Honor Dilemma
Posted: Jul 22, 2011 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: jcooperdt

I suggest having both of them as your MOH. It's not at all uncommon for brides to have two "co"-Maids of Honor. Think carefully though. Some women have jealousy issues and don't want to share the Maid of Honor spotlight with another person. Make sure they would get along really well before you ask the both of them to share this highly prestigious position.

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jcooperdt Posts : 3 Registered: 7/16/11
Re: Maid of Honor Dilemma
Posted: Jul 24, 2011 10:50 AM Go to message in response to: jcooperdt

Thanks for all the responses. I am friends with my brother's girlfriend and I defiantly want her in the wedding party. I think I've decided to have my best friend as my maid of honor though. I think she will be better at everything maid of honors are supposed to do and I am closest to her.

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WinterBride22 Posts : 15 Registered: 6/16/11
Re: Maid of Honor Dilemma
Posted: Oct 6, 2011 2:34 PM Go to message in response to: jcooperdt

Good luck with your choice. I hope it works out for you!

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BrittanyHeller Posts : 18 Registered: 10/11/11
Re: Maid of Honor Dilemma
Posted: Oct 11, 2011 11:52 AM Go to message in response to: WinterBride22

Just because you made a pact when you were younger doesn't mean you are required to make her a part of your wedding party. Your maid of honor and bridesmaids should be those family and friends that you are closest to. Make your decision based on who you consider your best girlfriends, rather than including your friend who you don't even speak to anymore

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