So my shower will be coming up at the end of the summer. Most of my bridesmaids live out of state, so though my MOH is technically hosting, it will be at my parents' home or our country club, and I will be doing a lot of the legwork along with my mom and FMIL, which is totally fine. I'd like some advice on two things:
1. Is it ok not to play any games or have a formal 'schedule'? I love showers, and I think the games are cute, but I've been to showers where the games, and the showers themselves, go on and on. What I'd like to do is have an elegant brunch with some good food, waiters passing trays of mimosas and juice, and just spend some time with my loved ones. I'd make it probably 10 am-1 pm, and that way people can pop in for an hour, have a drink and a meal, and then go about their day.
This leads to me to my second question
2. Is it inappropriate to not open gifts at the shower? The thought of everyone sitting around me while I open presents makes me (and the guests) feel like we're 8 years old. But I'm concerned if I just put the gifts in a corner and don't open them people will think I don't appreciate them, which is not the case at all. I'm thinking maybe I'll take each guest into a separate room as they walk in the door, open the gift privately at that time, exclaim in thanks and delight, and then let them get to the party.
Basically, I'd like to just throw a regular party, where everyone can come, enjoy some sparkling punch or wine and delicious food, see me (the bride) as well as other friends and loved ones, and then go about their day, without having my poor MOH trumpet the games and present opening like a camp counselor, and the guests be locked into 3 hours of guess-the-baby-picture and stare-at-the-gifts. Or are those things (games and present opening) expected, so it would be tacky/rude not to do them?
Edited by: bostonterrierbride on Jun 18, 2011 9:21 AM
1. It's fine to skip the games. I gave a shower a couple of years ago for a young friend. We had only two games, and participation was voluntary.
One game was asking the guests to write "Wedding Wishes or Marital Advice" on a card, then we put all the cards in a basket. We drew out the cards and read the entries. The last one drawn won a small prize. That was non-competitive and lots of fun.
2. Do not, however, skip the present-opening. That is the whole purpose of a shower - to "shower" the bride with gifts. It look bad to participate in a shower and then say "Oh, I'll open the gifts later". They want to see you open the gift and see your surprise and happiness.
If you want an Open House type party, where guests come, stay a while, then leave, just open presents periodically. Every half hour, or so, open the presents that are there so the giver can see your reaction. The gift-giver can then take off, as is appropriate for an Open House party.
If you really really want to eliminate gifts, then don't call it a "shower". Advertise an Open House where guests can meet the bride and the groom. Invite men and women.
I think "no games" is absolutely okay. I know many guests don't like games at all -- especially when they go on and on, as you say.
However, if I was a guest at your shower, I would say to you "Please open your presents!" Without present opening, it's just a party with gifts-to-go for you. A shower is when we shower you with presents and watch your delight!
People are quite used to never seeing the bride or groom open their wedding gifts but, oh, how we love to see the beautiful bride open our gift and have other people admire it. Plus, it's fun for all of us to see what's she getting ("Oh, her china pattern is so pretty! I hadn't seen it!") and for us former brides to relive the fun of our own showers.