When Should I mail Save the Dates?

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Liz2012 Posts : 2 Registered: 10/24/10
When Should I mail Save the Dates?
Posted: Jun 29, 2011 10:58 PM

I am getting married next summer. July 14th 2012. I know the magazine says send out the save the dates a year in advance. Around 100 out of 150 of my guests live in town. Is it jumping the gun to send out the save the dates a year in advance? I am very excited and super type A. I have been chomping at the bit to get started on wedding planning. Advice?
Thank you!!

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aea1 Posts : 27 Registered: 10/10/10
Re: When Should I mail Save the Dates?
Posted: Jun 29, 2011 11:10 PM Go to message in response to: Liz2012

Hi Liz,

Most magazines/books I have read say to send Save-the-Dates only 6 months in advance, with the earliest time being 8 months in advance.

I would say to wait a little longer to send yours, especially since most of your guests live in your town anyway. They are probably fairly up to speed on your wedding plans.

I am sending my save-the-dates 8 months in advance, but that's because 6 mos. in advance would be Christmas, and I don't want my save-the-dates getting lost in everyone's Christmas cards. So 7 mos. in advance is also Thanksgiving. I thought it best to steer clear of the holidays.

There's nothing wrong with being excited! In my opinion, you should wait to send your save-the-dates, but definitely focus your attention on other aspects of wedding planning.

Congratulations!

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: When Should I mail Save the Dates?
Posted: Jun 30, 2011 1:01 AM Go to message in response to: Liz2012

Ladies,

I know you are excited and want to get the word out, but stop and think about Save-The-Dates (STDs) (and I wish there was a better, less disgusting abbreviation).

A STD is, essentially, an invitation, minus the event details. When you send a STD, you are locked into inviting that person. Your guest list is nailed down.

A lot can happen in the year or eight months before W-Day. Your BFF can break up with her boyfriend. Your cousin could marry someone you dislike. You may need to switch venues, and shrink your list. Budgets change, plans change, emergencies happen, people get laid off.

It is best, please believe me, to keep your options open as long as you possibly can. That means skipping STDs entirely and locking in your guest list six to eight weeks before W-Day with regular invitations.

But, you say, what about people who need a long lead time to plan? There is nothing stopping you from communicating your wedding date, personally, to a "must-invite" person.

"Grandma, we have set our date. xx/xx/xxxx!!! Circle that on your calendar."

For someone who is not a must-invite, then why commit to that person long before it's necessary?

Finally: STDs are a recent invention. They came around sometime in the 1980s, as a way for stationery companies to sell more product to engaged couples. I got married in 1976, long before STDs were invented. Trust me, the "must-invite" people knew the date right away, within nanoseconds after my mother hung up the phone with me.

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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: When Should I mail Save the Dates?
Posted: Jun 30, 2011 1:15 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

I second Aunt. I have watched too many friends become “stuck” inviting someone they where no longer close to because of the STD (My dear friend who was married shortly after me was stuck with 50 people on her guest list she has lost touch with over the year). I did send a handful of “unofficial STDs” to a few friends who lived out of the country (as they would have to obtain visas and make significantly more complicated travel plans than my friends within the states). All this consisted of was a letter letting them know the date of my wedding and expressing my hope they would be able to attend.

wedding tickers

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: When Should I mail Save the Dates?
Posted: Jul 1, 2011 1:47 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Ladies,

Finally, sending STDs to some, but not all, your guest list creates an A-list / B-list impression. If Homer and Marge get a STD, but Ned and Maude do not, we all know that the Simpsons are A-listers and the Flanders are B-listers.

It's best to just communicate privately with your close family and let word spread through The Grapevine. Those hoping for an invitation will save the date in anticipation, without any obligation on your part.

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AlwaysSublime Posts : 28 Registered: 9/17/08
Re: When Should I mail Save the Dates?
Posted: Jul 3, 2011 5:22 PM Go to message in response to: Liz2012

Hi Liz!

I am sending mine out 9 months in advance and only to family members that live outside of the state and country. There are not many of them, 9 households total, so it was not a crazy, added expense. I wrote the information on a postcard, like a regular letter, and signed our names.

Like you, I do not think I can wait until 6-8 months. :)

These are family members that we do not communicate with regularly, and the postcard serves as something cool to put on their refrigerator, on a desk, or wherever! I was adamant about not doing them when we first got engaged, but some folks who are not in touch with the rest of the family or who live further away may appreciate the advanced noticed.

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