Having a Jack and Jill party

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augustbride2010 Posts : 7 Registered: 1/17/09
Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 3:21 PM

I'm thinking about having a jack n jill party to help the cost of our wedding and honeymoon. I'm putting the guest list together and need some advice. Do you invite the same people to the jack n jill as you would for the wedding?

Thanks. :)

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DeniseRose Posts : 40 Registered: 5/10/11
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 3:23 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

What is a Jack and Jill party?

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 3:27 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

Dear AB,

Why stop at your wedding guests? Stand on a street corner with you hat in hand and beg for donations.

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augustbride2010 Posts : 7 Registered: 1/17/09
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 3:28 PM Go to message in response to: DeniseRose

The celebration is often held to help raise money for the bride and groom to either pay for wedding costs, honeymoon, or to assist starting out their lives as a husband and wife.

A Jack and Jill party is often run in place of other associated pre-wedding events, such as a bachelor party or bridal shower, but this can vary depending on cultural customs and family traditions.

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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 4:50 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

I thought a Jack and Jill party was a co-ed bridal shower...fooled me.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 5:55 PM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

Ladies,

A Jack and Jill party is a shakedown where people who cannot afford a wedding sell tickets to an event where they raise money.

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sweet_jade Posts : 19 Registered: 2/9/11
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 7:47 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

HI Augustbride

Coming from a locale in which Jack and Jills (or Stag and Does) are very common and not at all taboo, I can tell you that you can invite whoever you want to the Jack and Jill. In my area, people typically set up a Facebook Invite and just send it out to everyone.

Most of the people who show up are likely those people who you will be inviting to the wedding anyways. However, you may only be able to invite a limited number of people to your wedding and the Jack and Jill would be the place to invite EVERYONE (ie. all of your coworkers, highschool aquaintances, etc).

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 10, 2011 8:41 PM Go to message in response to: sweet_jade

Dear Jade,

"However, you may only be able to invite a limited number of people to your wedding and the Jack and Jill would be the place to invite EVERYONE (ie. all of your coworkers, highschool aquaintances, etc)."

And remember they all have to pay you to get into the door.

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 11, 2011 1:10 AM Go to message in response to: augustbride2010

If you guys can't afford your wedding & honeymoon, then the best option is to cut costs. I'm sorry, I understand that this is custom in certain areas, but I find it extremely offensive to ask people, especially people who aren't even invited to the wedding, to fork out money for it.

Plus, if a couple can't even budget for a wedding, how are they going to manage when life throws other high-costs at them, some of which are going to be unexpected? JMHO.

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sweet_jade Posts : 19 Registered: 2/9/11
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 11, 2011 6:48 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

Dear Aunt (and PP's),

"And remember they all have to pay you to get into the door."

Absolutely.

This is the tradition in my area. If people choose not to attend because they cannot afford it or because they really aren't close to the couple but were invited anyways, that's OK.

I understand why others feel this is a cash-grab. It is. But those who host these parties and those who attend these parties ACCEPT that they will pay a fee to enter the party.

Typically, it's about 10$ to attend the event. I can't even buy a movie ticket for 10$. Most of these events involve entertainment, food, and games. Sure, you have to pay a buck or two to play the games, but you'd pay more at a carnival or a casino.

Personally, I'm not having a Stag and Doe, even though it is very common in my area. These parties are a heck of a lot of work to plan and they do require some capital up front (gotta rent the hall, afterall). I'd prefer not to bother with it. That being said, I'll still attend parties hosted by friends and family because it's fun and I enjoy going :)

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 11, 2011 9:49 PM Go to message in response to: sweet_jade

It might only cost $10 to get in the door, and only a couple bucks to play the games (if your saying that's usually the cost) but what about families and/or couples that attend? My hubby and I alone would be $20 just to get in. Then if we want to play games or raffles, I could see it easily going over $40. A family of 4...$40 just to get in (and you know the kids would want to play games). That could easily add up to $75+. So when you break it down, it might not seem like a lot, but at the end of the party these people are forking out way more than that. You compared it to a fair or carnival, and the last fair I went to (last summer) we spent way less than what it's assumed we would spend at a J&J, and definitly got a lot more for our money! The money I would spend at a J&J could easily go towards what I wanted to wear to the wedding, or a wedding gift. Do couples get offended if people who attended the J&J go short on their wedding present?

I'm not trying to sound rude or anything so please don't take it that way, I'm just looking at how attending a J&J would be affecting my wallet.

I just hope I never move to a place where they are common, or that they never become big in Chicago, LOL.

Edited by: FutureMrsDJLeo on May 11, 2011 8:49 PM

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HananaBanana Posts : 11 Registered: 3/3/11
Re: Having a Jack and Jill party
Posted: May 13, 2011 12:24 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

I too, have never heard of such a thing, wow. If they are common, I guess I can see having one, but it isn't my thing.

If you really would prefer cash to gifts to help with the honeymoon, just do a honeymoon registry. I have one and while I know not everyone agrees, I think they are perfectly find and we have zero complaints. I am using www.uponourstar.com and I think it is a much better alternative to this Jack/Jill thing!

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