Military Fiance needing advice

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SmileyGirl20 Posts : 6 Registered: 4/21/11
Military Fiance needing advice
Posted: Apr 21, 2011 11:02 PM

My fiance and I have been engaged for a few months now.He is in the army. We had set a date and started a little bit of planning. The wedding was supposed to be June of next year. But we recently found out he's being deployed to Afghanistan in July of this year and will be gone for a whole year, which of course means our wedding date has been knocked out.

Not only am I worried about his safety, but I don't know how to feel. I mean we moved in together a few months ago and have seen each other everyday for a very long time. Besides the seperation angst, I don't know if I should go ahead and plan while he's gone. He told me to and said we'll get married as soon as he steps off the plane. But realistically, I'm not sure how to go about planning my wedding or if I should be planning while he's gone at all.

Please help!!!

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Military Fiance needing advice
Posted: Apr 21, 2011 11:09 PM Go to message in response to: SmileyGirl20

Dear SG,

Wow. So much emotion, so much to consider.

Here is my practical suggestion regarding logistics. Talk to vendors and ask how flexible they can be about dates. Explain your situation. See if you can line up vendors who can work with you with a date subject to military ordered changes.

Then, pick a few dates, first choice, second choice, etc, and talk to your vendors about those.

Here's another suggestion. Being deployed changes a person. You are both young and have a lot of life ahead of you. Why not consider waiting on making any definite plans until he has completed his first deployment?

I sincerely hope it all works out for you. You have a tough road ahead. Can you join a military spouse/fiancÚ(e) support group?

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SmileyGirl20 Posts : 6 Registered: 4/21/11
Re: Military Fiance needing advice
Posted: Apr 21, 2011 11:20 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Thanks so much for the advice, I'm pretty sure I can join a support group. Actually I never really thought about it until now. But yes we are young and him being gone will be hard.

But I really appreciate your advice, I'll look into it! _

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futureswedishbr... Posts : 115 Registered: 7/27/10
Re: Military Fiance needing advice
Posted: Apr 23, 2011 1:01 PM Go to message in response to: SmileyGirl20

I say plan a few of the small things now and when you see your fiance again, plan with him on the big things. I know how you feel.

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Iggy85 Posts : 3 Registered: 5/26/11
Re: Military Fiance needing advice
Posted: May 26, 2011 10:44 AM Go to message in response to: SmileyGirl20

I know exactly how you are feeling because I am also engaged to a soldier. He is on alert for deployment and if he does get his orders to deploy we will just have our parents and the kids at the courthouse and plan a reception when he gets back or when he's home for his two week leave. Deployments are tough (I've been deployed and my exhusband was also military) so I know how it is from both sides. If you are set on having a big wedding, then by all means plan it while he is gone. That just gives you extra time to plan. I know that it will be hard, but try to include him on your decision making through video chats and emails unless he's like my FH and says whatever I want is good with him lol. I'm always here if you need someone to talk to about the deployment!!!

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JenniferWillson Posts : 70 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Military Fiance needing advice
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 8:41 AM Go to message in response to: SmileyGirl20

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