I need advice

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Futuremrscarter Posts : 3 Registered: 4/20/11
I need advice
Posted: Apr 20, 2011 3:25 AM

My fiance and I just picked a date for our wedding. When I told my mom she didn't really seem too excited about it, she just said that's quick. We currently live with my family and he has told me that he doesn't feel included anymore with my family, but he doesn't want me to say anything to them about it. Idk what i should do. Should I pick another date and wait longer to make my family happy or what can I do?

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: I need advice
Posted: Apr 20, 2011 7:52 AM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

Who's paying for the wedding?

If they don't really have any objections, I'd just plan the wedding on the date you want it.

No one else is going to be as excited as you about your wedding. So I would just continue to plan your wedding.

 

 

 

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almostmrsgarner Posts : 7 Registered: 4/19/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: Apr 20, 2011 10:18 AM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

i agree that no one is going to be as excited as the 2 of you. The date you two have agreed on is your choice, so stick with it. I would talk to your family if you have that kind of relationship that you feel they would be receptive, for your fiances sake. That man will be your partner for life so you need to make sure that you have his back and if he's feeling hurt or left out, if needs to be addressed.

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Futuremrscarter Posts : 3 Registered: 4/20/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: Apr 20, 2011 11:57 AM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

@Pharm we are paying for the wedding ourselves along with his sister. And thank you for the advice

@almostmrsgarner I told him I would talk to my family about how he was feeling but he doesn't want me to say anything. Should I talk to them anyway or respect his wishes?

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almostmrsgarner Posts : 7 Registered: 4/19/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: Apr 20, 2011 12:25 PM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

i guess the way that i would approach it is not in a "throw him under the bus" way, as in, he doesnt want you to say that he is feeling left out or hurt, but you have obviously noticed that there are some issues with regards to your mom at least. I would talk with her and let her know that you have noticed her lack of excitement or maybe that she isn't as welcoming to your fiance lately. She might just be scared of losing you or many other reasons. It might be a nice time for you two to get on the same page. i would go to lunch and have a heart to heart to make sure all is well with her..

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Futuremrscarter Posts : 3 Registered: 4/20/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: Apr 20, 2011 12:41 PM Go to message in response to: almostmrsgarner

Thank you this was all helpful advice.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: I need advice
Posted: Apr 20, 2011 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

Personally, I don't know.

I'm inclined to let it go if she's just going to be passive aggressive about it.

Or don't say anything about her attitude toward your fiance, just sit down with her, see if everything's OK with her and don't make it about your wedding at all.

People have other things going on in their lives.

 

 

 

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Holdens_Bride Posts : 15 Registered: 11/2/10
Re: I need advice
Posted: May 6, 2011 9:58 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

It is your wedding, i would plan it when you want- but I would have a heart to heart with her- find out what is prompting her unhappiness, my guess is that there is an underlying reason, not so much about the date.

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mcgjohn Posts : 1 Registered: 5/9/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: May 9, 2011 5:02 PM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

Pick the date that you and your fiance want. Unless mom's footing the bill, she doesn't get much say in this department, IMO.

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: I need advice
Posted: May 11, 2011 10:00 PM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

I just re-read the OP (because it was on the recent posts) and I saw that your FH is living with you and your family. Are you guys on track to move into your own place soon? One reason I could think of for your moms reaction is if she's under the assumption that your wedding date is sooner than when you two will have your own place.

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martynaardata468 Posts : 1 Registered: 5/25/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: May 25, 2011 8:42 AM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

ok, thanks...

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Snyder1 Posts : 7 Registered: 5/17/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: Jun 15, 2011 10:34 PM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

No, i think you'd better plan by yourself...
Because, It is your wedding!!

That day, Beautiful!!!

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MariaPearce Posts : 20 Registered: 10/11/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: Nov 9, 2011 10:33 AM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

Absolutely not. It's your wedding, so all the decisions should be made by you and what you want! Good luck with your wedding planning, and here's an email I received that might interest you since you're newly engaged and are going to need to start selecting vendors for your wedding!

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Evil Vendor
Posted: Nov 9, 2011 10:34 AM Go to message in response to: MariaPearce

Evil Vendor

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afterbow Posts : 10 Registered: 11/3/11
Re: I need advice
Posted: Nov 9, 2011 8:46 PM Go to message in response to: Futuremrscarter

Conmunication is always a good way to solve problem. You should talk with your family and make the best choice that nobody would be embarrassed.

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