I am my good friend's MOH, so I am planning her shower and bachelorette party.
I am one of 4 bridesmaids. One is her sister, and will not be able to provide anything financially. I asked the other gals if they wanted to pay for a suite and each bring a couple snacks/drinks, and I would handle the decorations and invitations. Both agreed to it.
I reserved the suite, and it's going to cost around $100 each. The one friend then e-mails me and says $100 would too much since she is jobless, which I was unaware of, and wish she would have told me that before I reserved this suite. I told her to pitch in what she can and I will cover the rest.
Now in the last week, she has gone to a resort w/her kids and her BF, and is now talking about seeing a baseball game in St. Louis, which is hours from where we live. I'm reading this all on her Facebook.
Obviously her BF is paying for all of this, but I'm pretty pissed off. You can boast about heading to a resort and plan to see an out of state baseball game, but you can't get $100 to me by the end of May?
You've heard, before, my usual lecture on Private Thoughts and Public Expression.
In your Private Thoughts you can be mad, angry, hurt, etc. Make a mental dartboard with her photo on it and mentally throw darts at the bulleye.
Your Public Expression, however, should be different. Take what money you have, scale down the arrangments and do the best you can. If the bride asks you "Hey, what happened to the suite?", just say "We could not afford it." and leave it there.
I will still do the suite even if I have to pay more for it. I know my friend will appreciate it, and I love to throw parties. It will be the first shower I've hosted and I'm excited for it. It would cost me just as much to reserve part of a restaurant and pay for food. And my house is too small to host at home.
I've thought about it overnight, and I'm going to wait and see if she gets employed, and I will expect her to pitch in her share of the room then. If she doesn't or still cannot pay, then she will just have to go home after the bachlorette party and not stay in the suite.