Can I have two weddings?

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ndsanz2041 Posts : 1 Registered: 1/18/09
Can I have two weddings?
Posted: Mar 8, 2011 4:26 PM

My parents are recently divorced and are being very stubborn about being around each other at the wedding. My dad says if hes paying he doesn't want my mom there and my mom doesnt care to see his face either. Is it ok to have two seperate weddings for each side of the family or should I make them suck it up and deal with each other?? Help!

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Can I have two weddings?
Posted: Mar 8, 2011 4:29 PM Go to message in response to: ndsanz2041

I propose a third option: pay for the wedding yourself so you can invite whomever you want, plan it exactly as you want and not have to deal with your dad's requirement (or blackmail, IMO).

I'm not saying your dad is being fair. He's not. But you'll have to deal with that if you let him pay. Pay for everything yourself, invite them both and expect them to suck it up and behave for a day. That's my vote.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Can I have two weddings?
Posted: Mar 8, 2011 6:00 PM Go to message in response to: ndsanz2041

Have one wedding. Pay for it. And tell your parents to put on their big boy and girl panties and be adults. Seriously, they almost deserve to have you say:

"Dad, put on your big boy panties and grow up. This wedding isn't about you, and if you can't man up and behave for 3 hours, that's not my problem. It's yours. End of discussion."

I'm sorry. THEY chose to get a divorce. THEY chose to have you. They do NOT get to punish you for their purile behavior.

If they don't want to see each other at your wedding, that is too bad... FOR THEM. You go ahead and have a wonderful day. This day is a celebration of your and your FH's love for one another... not a chance for them to spew their hatred at each other.

Misty

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Can I have two weddings?
Posted: Mar 8, 2011 7:02 PM Go to message in response to: ndsanz2041

Dear ND,

No you cannot have two weddings. A wedding is where you get married. By the time the second event rolls around, you are already married and cannot get married again.

You have several alternatives:

1. Pay for the wedding yourself, invite both parents and tell them they can come or not come, either way is fine with you.

2. If you, for some reason, must depend on your father for finances, then realize that the Golden Rule states that "he who has the gold makes the rules". In other words, if your father is hosting the event then he can invite or NOT INVITE who he chooses. If he chooses not to invite your mother, then she is not invited.

What you can do, if your father hosts the wedding, is allow your mother to host (and pay for) a Second Reception. This is not a fake second wedding, but instead a party given in honor of the newlyweds so they can meet her family and friends. The Second Reception is scheduled after you return from your honeymoon. You wear normal party clothes, meet and greet the guests and have a good time.

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chris42005 Posts : 89 Registered: 4/6/10
Re: Can I have two weddings?
Posted: Mar 10, 2011 4:55 PM Go to message in response to: ndsanz2041

I would tell them that due to money and time, you are having 1 wedding. You expect them to behave for your wedding. No financial or emtional blackmail, that is how children act. You love them both and want both of them there that day for you.

I'm sorry your parents are putting you through this. Good luck

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Kimberly212 Posts : 972 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Can I have two weddings?
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 1:13 PM Go to message in response to: ndsanz2041

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rhea01 Posts : 1 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Can I have two weddings?
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 4:06 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

I agree with HappyGirl13 and CatStandish. Hope you make it. It would be great if both of them will come on your wedding day. Congrats.

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