Future Sister-in-law Help

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aea1 Posts : 27 Registered: 10/10/10
Future Sister-in-law Help
Posted: Feb 6, 2011 1:56 PM

Hi,
I am in need of a little help regarding one of my future sis-in-laws. I cannot figure out if she likes me or not. She is sending very mixed messages. I have only met her a few times since we live MO & she lives in OH. Most of our communication is via Facebook & Skype, though we did spend a week together w/ the rest of fiance's family in Florida. She seems to be fairly pleasant in person, but is not very nice when we're away from each other. She often posts seemingly mean comments on my posts on FB (Granted, it is hard to read tone & attitude via the Internet, so I could be mistaking her comments, but most seem rather rude). During Skype sessions, she talks mostly to my fiance and says no more than an "mm-hmm," when he or I mentions an accomplishment of mine or something fun we did with my family.
Should I try to figure out her behavior? I'm not mad, just perplexed. Perhaps she feels she is losing her little brother. She has always been very protective of my fiance. When they were kids, she literally spoke for him until he was almost 7; she even told him what to eat & drink. Or the only other thing I can think of is that she thinks she will lose her role as "favorite aunt." She lives with an older brother who has two kids, and she has developed a much stronger relationship with them than my fiance and the other sister have, just for the fact that she's there every day. The two kids are very excited that they are gaining me as an aunt, which gives me much joy, but I did not think I was "replacing" her special place.
Do you have any suggestions on how to build our relationship?

Edited by: aea1 on Feb 6, 2011 12:57 PM

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
Posted: Feb 6, 2011 6:42 PM Go to message in response to: aea1

Dear Aea,

I'd just say take it slow. You can't force someone to like you. Be patient, be polite and see how things go.

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aea1 Posts : 27 Registered: 10/10/10
Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
Posted: Feb 7, 2011 12:47 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Thank you, Aunt.

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Heather2256 Posts : 8 Registered: 2/11/11
Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
Posted: Feb 11, 2011 2:14 AM Go to message in response to: aea1

I totally know your sitation - except I know how my FSIL's feel about me! One hates me (my vehicles have been vandilized twice & I suspect it was her) and the other I've had a rocky relationship with, but we're good now. I've been called every name in the book by my guy's family. And if things don't improve don't worry about it. Just get along with the rest of the family. It'll be her loss.

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VGamsky Posts : 18 Registered: 4/6/10
Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
Posted: Mar 12, 2011 1:30 PM Go to message in response to: aea1

My advice would be to just go with your gut, mine told me my FH sister didn't like me the first time I met her. Since we have become good friends but apparently I was right when she first met me she thought I was a snob lol

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
Posted: Mar 12, 2011 3:53 PM Go to message in response to: aea1

I have FSIL issues as well.

I got a long very well with the rest of his sibligs--but there is just this ONE sister of his that hasn't seemed to take a liking to me. We often don't even greet each other or say good bye--after years of dating and a recent engagement with my FH--its becoming awkwarder and awkwarder to try and break the ice which probably should have happened years ago.

Funnily enough--at dinners we often end up sitting beside or across from each other. And when we get some alcohol in us we usually share a few funny anectodes with one another.

Now that I think about it...we aren't even facebook friends...

I say just start spending more time with her if you can. Slowly try to build a friendship. That's what I am going to start doing with this sister. And even if you don't end up forming a friendship--all that matters is that you guys are kind with each other.

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 10:50 AM Go to message in response to: aea1

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Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
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Re: Future Sister-in-law Help
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