OT Rant-Boyfriend Crashers

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Agape14 Posts : 201 Registered: 12/31/08
OT Rant-Boyfriend Crashers
Posted: Jan 28, 2011 8:23 AM

I'm so thoroughly annoyed...

So for the last several years, I've been a part of a breakfast club--a small group of friends (about 6 of us), a mix of guys and girls, almost exclusively friends from high school. And we're getting together this weekend, for the first time in ages, as one of the members who lives abroad now is back in town for a few days.

What's irritating to me about this impending breakfast is that last night one of the other two girls that will be there casually mentioned that they've invited their BFs WHO ARE NOT PART OF OUR BREAKFAST CLUB. This is the second or third time in a row they've both done this and it's driving me crazy! It's not a couples breakfast. The bf's weren't invited. It's a small group thing, a particular group thing. LEAVE YOUR SECURITY BLANKET AT HOME!!!

I don't know why they keep doing this...but it really bugs me. It totally changes the dynamic of the group and I find it so rude that they'd invite other people without consulting with the group first. And really, can't you be separated from your bf for two hours on a Sunday?!?!

Argh...I'm so irritated.

Rant. Over.

 

 

~~Life's tough, wear a cup~~

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: OT Rant-Boyfriend Crashers
Posted: Jan 28, 2011 8:34 AM Go to message in response to: Agape14

And really, can't you be separated from your bf for two hours on a Sunday?!?!

Some people can't. LOL I'm not one of them personally, but it can be annoying.

My MIL is one of those. She wanted to be included in things for the baby, so I said, well I have to paint the nursery. So she was like OK I'm available this time on this day. I find out the day before that apparently my FIL is also coming over. It wasn't a HUGE deal, but the room is tiny, so only two of us could paint it, my DH was working, and I was like - What am I going to do with FIL??

It worked out - but my point is, they apparently can't be too separated. At least they are married and have been for over 45 years.

But it still seems odd to me.

The ladies I work with sometimes get together. Some of us are married. One or two are in relationships. We try to coordinate if the guys are going to be there or not so it's not just one of them. LOL Often we end up getting together without them because it's easier and a little more fun! LOL But that's just it - we coordinate it!

 

 

 

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: OT Rant-Boyfriend Crashers
Posted: Jan 28, 2011 1:01 PM Go to message in response to: Agape14

Dear Agape,

Sounds like your group is in the process of breaking up. You haven't met "in ages", and now a couple of girls are more interested in their present tense boyfriends than their past tense high school friends.

It happens.

The group will either change to accommodate the new people or it will cease to exist as you know it.

Look at it this way. Let's say someone called these two girls and said "Leave BF at home. Period." The girls come without boyfriends. Do you have the same group? The same experience? No. You have two girls there who are ticked off because their so-called "friends" are not interested in their boyfriends.

It's not the same group, no matter what. Time to move on.

I'm sorry, and I know you are hurt, but that's part of growing up.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: OT Rant-Boyfriend Crashers
Posted: Jan 28, 2011 1:17 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

I partially agree with what you are saying Aunt, but (and I don't know if this is the case or not) - If I get together with a group of friends and my husband has NEVER come. If then they start showing up with the boyfriend of the moment or whatever - that's not so cool.

But then I stop hanging out with them if I'm expecting it to be girl time and it won't be.

And again, while not this exact situation, I have had gf's like that - we're supposed to get together for drinks and 'girl time' but then she shows up with the person she's with/dating and it's awkward as hell and insane.

Her choice how to spend her time - equally my choice on my time. So I won't be hanging out with her for what is expected to be one on one time.

This may be a HUGE reason I have mostly guy friends. LOL

 

 

 

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Agape14 Posts : 201 Registered: 12/31/08
Re: OT Rant-Boyfriend Crashers
Posted: Jan 28, 2011 2:27 PM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Aunt, I don't think I really agree. The frequency of our breakfast meetings reflects our current jobs more than anything else (1 doctor-almost always on call on the weekends, 1 political staff-no life while Parliament is in session, 1 govt worker-travels a lot for the job, 1 out of country-er). So we get together for breakfast when the stars align, and that works. But the annoying behaviour has more to do with their lack of consideration and thought rather than them being more interested in current BFs.

And, one of the bf's isn't new, he's been around for a few years so I know him well. He's just not a part of the breakfast group (just like my husband isn't, even though he's been around for years and they all know him well) Regardless of who the uninvited person is though, I think it's just plain rude to have someone tag along to a small group event when you haven't consulted the other attendees. And I'm not remotely hurt, just aggravated by their lack of consideration. The extras will totally make the time awkward and superficial.

Can't wait for the thrilling tones of: "oh, what do you do new bf", "let me explain this inside joke to you other bf since you didn't go to high school with us", "let's talk about the weather since we're not close enough with the interlopers to comfortably share our juicy life gossip". I'm really excited...

 

 

~~Life's tough, wear a cup~~

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: OT Rant-Boyfriend Crashers
Posted: Sep 15, 2012 9:04 AM Go to message in response to: Agape14

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