Non traditional couple planning a wedding in 6 months?!

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jmks Posts : 1 Registered: 1/24/11
Non traditional couple planning a wedding in 6 months?!
Posted: Jan 24, 2011 10:08 PM

Ok so my fiance and I have been together for 12 years. He really wants to get married in June, and here's where things get sticky. We live in different countries and are waiting for his visa paperwork. We would want to get married on his parents vineyard, in the backyard where an infinity pool overlooks a lake. I think it has a lot of potential.

But the thing is, 6 months isn't long at all to plan anything, especially when you consider I will be planning from a distance, and it's a very small town.

We don't want the usual hoopla that a traditional wedding comes with. We don't want bridesmaids or groomsmen, we just want our best friends surrounding us while his grandfather marries us. Then we just want to eat good food, drink good wine and just have fun. This is basically what a I want: http://www.eatdrinkchic.com/post.cfm/surprise-we-got-married-part-ii-the-story-the-styling

We were thinking that we would tell everyone that we're eloping at the end of June and we would like to invite everyone over to the vineyard house(a long drive/flight for some) for a reception before we go off to get married. BUT the truth will be that they are all there for a wedding, which they would eventually find out.

Am I ridiculous to think that this can actually happen while still working a stressful 40 hour work week?

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Non traditional couple planning a wedding in 6 months?!
Posted: Jan 24, 2011 10:21 PM Go to message in response to: jmks

I think you can absolutely do it. The biggest hurdle in my opinion is his visa paperwork.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Non traditional couple planning a wedding in 6 months?!
Posted: Jan 24, 2011 10:48 PM Go to message in response to: jmks

Dear JM,

My wedding was planned in about four months. It can be done. I got married in my parents' backyard, in a mimimalistic wedding much like you describe. We just had a MOH and BM, no other attendants.

I think your biggest problem is FH getting his fiancÚ visa. Typically, you only have 90 days to get married from the time the visa is issued. I could be wrong, but that is what I've heard from others.

Here is my suggestion to you.

Research exactly the visa legal issues. I hope you have engaged an immigration lawyer so you can make sure everything is exactly kosher with the ICE.

Next, make plans with only a vague date in mind. In other words, approach vendors with the truth. "My fiancÚ will be getting a visa. We don't know when that will come through, but when it does we want to move quickly. Can you work with us for a wedding that could take place within this approximate time frame?"

See who is willing to cooperate. Some might be so willing, others won't. Since you are very flexible in your plans, you might be able to engage people new to the business who are hungry for work.

Let your friends and family know what's going on. The surprise wedding sounds great, but think long and hard about the advantages and disadvantages of such an event. For example, people will move heaven and earth to get vacation time, etc., to attend a wedding. They might not do that for a "party". Thus, someone might really want to be at a wedding could decline a "party" invitation, then be very disappointed later. I vote for honesty.

Finally, I suggest you look into hiring a wedding planner who knows local vendors and can work with them to put it all together.

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