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Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!

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Online Users: 1,293 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 8

BarefootBride Posts : 4 Registered: 1/17/11
Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 7:57 AM

Hi everyone! I'm new here! I've been married since October 2008 and my husband and I are planning to get married for the 2nd time next year 2012! Our first wedding is in Asia since we're from there but we plan to have our 2nd wedding in California since we shall be living there again! Now, I am so confused. How is a Renewal of Vow supposed to be? Is it pretty much like a WEDDING? I guess the ceremony is a must since how do we renew our vows right? Heheheh!

Also please help with the ring. Okay, so I get to choose my engagement ring this time. I got his mother's engagement ring on our 1st wedding and this time, I am thinking why not get a red ruby or a blue sapphire... What do you guys think? I am leaning more on the ruby 'coz I think it's more rare. I really want the sapphire too you know but people might think I'm trying too hard to be like Kate Middleton. Heheheh! Nah, just kidding! Any thoughts on rubies as an engagement ring?

Help please! =)



Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 8:32 AM Go to message in response to: BarefootBride

Dear BB,

"Our first wedding is in Asia since we're from there but we plan to have our 2nd wedding in California since we shall be living there again! "

California recognizes marriages established in other countries. You don't need to have multiple weddings every time you move.

". How is a Renewal of Vow supposed to be? "

What a married couple do when they are alone or with their immediate family is their own business.

"Is it pretty much like a WEDDING?"

Do you need a vast audience of admiring eyes? Behind some of those eyes will be the thought "They are already married. What a waste of time."

"What do you guys think? "

Skip it. Act like a married woman because you ARE married.

***

I am one of those who finds the fake wedding vow renewal to be in very poor taste. Your original wedding vows do not expire. They are good for life. Just because you got married in Asia doesn't mean that marriage has to be "renewed" (like a drivers license) every time you cross a border.

If you want to re-celebrate your marriage, the proper thing to do is hold an anniversary party. This is a party where you wear normal party clothes, instead of a ceremonial bridal gown, and celebrate what you have now (5 years?) rather than a gift-grabbing rerun of what you did in Asia.

People bring modest gifts to an anniversary party, instead of lavish expensive gifts as they would to a real wedding.

You are already married. Weddings are for single people.

Want a wedding? Divorce your husband, go out and snag a new guy and have a wedding with him. Still don't have enough loot? Divorce #2, find #3 and try again.


BarefootBride Posts : 4 Registered: 1/17/11
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 9:05 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

oohh, aren't we in a bad mood today? you really need to lighten up. life is so short. no need to sourgrape. you wouldn't wanna add more wrinkles on your face now would you? no wonder your previous account "got messed up". ;)

now, on to a lighter topic. i'm sure someone out there already had a renewal of vows. any help would be appreciated! =)

good vibes please! i don't wanna read negative comments for a post so positive. =)



Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 9:47 AM Go to message in response to: BarefootBride

Dear BB

"no need to sourgrape. you wouldn't wanna add more wrinkles on your face now would you? "

No one can stop you from a gift-grab fake wedding, but you can't stop them from laughing at you behind your back.


BarefootBride Posts : 4 Registered: 1/17/11
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 10:09 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

wow lady. you're sooooo angry. i can feel the anger inside you. LOL! take it easy, take it easy. no one's fighting with yah! did the recession finally take its toll on you? you got some personal issues that you're taking it all out in forums? it's okay baby. i understand. whatever floats your boat. just remember, life is too short to focus on the negative. ;-)



MizJodi Posts : 65 Registered: 3/8/07
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 10:14 AM Go to message in response to: BarefootBride

As you're a newbie, and don't know Aunt, I'm going to go to bat for her (even though it sounds like it'll probably be a waste of breath). She's being a realist; you're already married, and there are a lot of very happy people on here who agree fake weddings/second weddings/"vow renewals" are rather ridiculous.

Have hubby give you an anniversary ring if you really need a new one already after only four years.

GL!


BarefootBride Posts : 4 Registered: 1/17/11
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 10:21 AM Go to message in response to: MizJodi

thank you mizjodi. i appreciate your view on vow renewals. at least you don't sound angry. unlike good ol' aunt here. LOL!!!!!



FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 17, 2011 2:24 PM Go to message in response to: BarefootBride

While my opinions on second weddings differ depending on the case, rather I agree with the reason or not I usually still get an understanding of why the couple is doing it. For you though, I really don't understand and have never even heard of people having a second wedding for a)moving, and/or b)going through tough times. Married couples move all the time, sometimes down the street, other times to the other end of the world. They don't go and have a second wedding because they reside at a new address. Going through hard times? They are tests for your marriage, and for you personally. You and your hubby are still together, I would take that as the reward, especially now adays when people divorce just because they can't agree on dinner! You guys can celebrate by maybe having a romantic weekend, or going on vacation, or as others suggested, a party.

A wedding is when 2 people unite in marriage, vowing to spend the rest of their lives together. A housewarming party is for when you move, an Anniversary party is for celebrating your marriage after you have had anniversaries together. What you are celebrating doesn't fit under the definition of wedding, so it doesn't make sense to have a wedding. It's like having a Christening party, when no one is getting baptized.



Moderator Posts : 211 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: Renewal of Vows / Second Wedding NEWBIE!!!!!
Posted: Jan 18, 2011 10:17 AM Go to message in response to: BarefootBride

I'm locking this thread.

On the internet, as in life, you'll run into people offer differing opinions. This is not a reason to name call or belittle others.

Everyone, think before you post, please.

-Allison, Moderator

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