how soon is too soon?

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crisco_inferno Posts : 5 Registered: 12/28/10
how soon is too soon?
Posted: Dec 28, 2010 11:41 PM

So I've been engaged for 1 year and 4 days now :)

and we've got our church and hall all locked.

but I don't know if it's too soon to be worrying about cake, flowers, dresses, photag, dj, etc!

Our date is 10-22-2011, so less than a year away. But ive never planned a wedding, been in a wedding, or even attended one. I have no idea how these things go - as if you couldn't already tell - so how soon is too soon and when is it too late to plan all of these very important deets??

"When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." ~Nora Ephron, When Harry Met Sally www.mywedding.com/chrissyandstefan

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Dec 29, 2010 1:14 AM Go to message in response to: crisco_inferno

Dear CI,

" But ive never planned a wedding, been in a wedding, or even attended one. "

So, you are committing yourself to something with which you have no personal experience? Are you relying on what you have seen on TV?

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Mrs_Orto Posts : 14 Registered: 7/19/10
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Dec 29, 2010 3:24 PM Go to message in response to: crisco_inferno

Since you're under the one year mark, I think it's probably safe to be looking into the other vendors. And a lot of the time, if you book them this far in advance, you could get a cheaper price. Technically it's never "too late" to book something but the closer to the date, the harder it is to do. I planned my entire wedding in only 3 months.
I also had never planned a wedding though I had attended a few. I didn't know much about wedding planning itself outside of watching shows like "Who's Wedding Is It Anyway" and such and I would NEVER rely on something like that as a tutorial. A better way to go about learning about the planning process is to ask people that have been through it. Posting on here is definitely a good start, you can get a lot of great advice from here. But also be aware that you will get a lot of DIFFERENT advice as well. Everyone has their own opinions. Another good idea is to buy a planning book or something of the sort that allows you to keep all of your planning information in one place (vendors, style ideas, budget, guest list, etc) that also has tips on how best to go about planning each part of your big day. Have a check list of everything you need to do (you can use the task manager from this site, it's actually pretty good) so you can keep track of what's done and what still needs done.
Start looking around at vendors in your area and contact them about prices and the services they offer. And try to contact more than one vendor in each category. If you limit yourself to just one option and they don't end up offering everything you want, you're kinda stuck.
There is tons of planning advice out there and tons more ways to keep it all organized. So, get a hold of a book, talk to people who have planned before, and start contacting vendors.
Also, if it's in your budget and you're really panicking about the whole planning thing, you can always hire a professional wedding planner to help.

Mrs. Orto
wedding websites

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WellWisher Posts : 175 Registered: 1/2/10
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Dec 29, 2010 5:32 PM Go to message in response to: Mrs_Orto

I don't think it's too soon at all. Commit now and try to get the prices for this year, instead of next year.

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1luckybride Posts : 5 Registered: 12/26/10
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Dec 29, 2010 6:10 PM Go to message in response to: crisco_inferno

Don't worry about committing yourself to something you have no experience with, most brides haven't been in weddings, planned a wedding, or even been to a wedding. The fact that you are asking for help is a great start, especially here since that's what these forums are for and there are so many knowledgeable brides WHO HAVE BEEN THERE! For most of us, we wouldn't have known what to do either, at least on some aspect, had we not ask for help. So, good for you hunny, you go girl lol. Anyway, there are a lot of good suggestions on here about how planning now saves you some money and gives you room to negotiate and also about using a wedding planner. Starting now also gives you enough time to really look around and find exactly what you are looking for. There really is never a "too soon" to start planning :)

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AnnaKay12 Posts : 17 Registered: 12/20/10
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Dec 29, 2010 10:05 PM Go to message in response to: crisco_inferno

I agree with the previous posters in that it's definitely not too soon to start looking for and/or booking your other vendors, especially since you have your date locked in with your venues. As soon as FH and I book the venue, we plan to begin sorting through the other vendors asap to ensure we can secure the ones we want for our date.

If you're looking for a basic timeline for getting things done, there's one here on brides.com (and on other wedding websites as well) that can give you a general idea of when people typically do what. You don't have to stick to those though; just do what works best for you and your situation. Good luck with all your planning!

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bridehannah Posts : 17 Registered: 1/7/11
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Jan 7, 2011 12:56 PM Go to message in response to: AnnaKay12

I agree, book early- I don't really understand auntofbride's post, I have never planned a wedding and I am still getting married?

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Jan 7, 2011 4:08 PM Go to message in response to: bridehannah

Dear Hannah,

Read the OP:

" But ive never planned a wedding, been in a wedding, or even attended one."

She hasn't even so much as attended a wedding, yet she knows that is what she wants. That was my question. What kind of past experience leads her to believe she needs a wedding, other than watching so-called reality shows on TV?

It sounds likes she hangs around with people who don't do weddings. How will they know how to conduct themselves when faced with a real life wedding?

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1luckybride Posts : 5 Registered: 12/26/10
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Jan 10, 2011 9:39 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

Just because her friends might not do weddings (ever consider their age?) doesn't mean they wouldn't know how to act. I have only been to one wedding but even before then I knew to carry myself like a lady. I don't worry about whether or not my guest will know how to carry themselves at my wedding, because many of them will not have been to one or many before. It's kind of a common sense thing, like not saying GD in church. You were nice clothes, you act politely, and you avoid getting drunk. Seems simple to me.

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Jan 11, 2011 1:28 PM Go to message in response to: crisco_inferno

Almost every wedding website, magazine, and planning book has some sort of timeline for planning. I'd suggest that you look at several of them and begin to compare and contrast. A lot depends on the kind of wedding you're planning. Obviously, a big, complicated extravaganza takes more time (and money!!) than a simple brunch or cocktail party.

Your budget is the first question to answer--how much do you/ will you have to spend, and where is the money coming from (don't depend on vague promises from family or hopes that you can save--you need cash in hand). From this point, you can select guest list (how many people can you afford to feed? how many are "must invites"? who can you leave out if you have to?) Then, find your venue (you can't do this until you answer the "how much money" and "how many people" questions). Popular venues often book up a year or more in advance, so get going on this. Also, if you want a particular officiant, make sure that he/she has your date clear before you commit to anything.

Clothes, flowers, cake, photography, invites, music, etc. usually can be done within six months, unless (again) you are dealing with a vendor who is super-in-demand or a designer dress that takes extra time to complete. But MOST vendors can do what you wish in six months or less.

Good luck with planning. Oh, one more word. Have the wedding that YOU want. Just because you see something on TV or in a magazine (favors, toasting flutes, guestbooks, cake cutting sets, a special garter, blah, blah) doesn't mean that you want or need these things. Just because someone else's wedding was a Saturday-night extravaganza with 400 people does not mean that YOU would be comfortable or able to afford such a bash. The best weddings reflect the people who are getting married, and they're personal and intimate. So, most of all, make it about YOU.

myra@classysassyweddings.com

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kathyarora Posts : 9 Registered: 1/5/11
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Jan 12, 2011 10:24 PM Go to message in response to: myras

From what I have read and seen from personal experience, 6 months is the minimum you want to have to plan for a wedding, even though it can be done in less time, but why give yourself the unneeded stress. Most people take a year to plan it out. Most of my married friends got married about a year after they were engaged. i want to try to have our done in a year also

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: how soon is too soon?
Posted: Sep 16, 2012 3:05 PM Go to message in response to: crisco_inferno

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