How did you know he was the One?

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mikesangel4lf Posts : 26 Registered: 4/11/09
How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Dec 28, 2010 1:20 AM

I just was wondering how everyone realized their boyfriend was the one person they wanted to spend the rest of their lives with.

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Dec 28, 2010 11:24 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

I wish there were one "correct" answer to this question. I don't know, maybe for some people it's angels and trumpets. For me, it was the complete comfort level that I felt from the first moment. We met on a blind date. Looks as a criterion were minimal. We looked at each other, both thouoght, "Okay. That's fine. Next?" and moved on to get to know each other. I had been married before, so I spent a lot of time testing (in my own mind) various situations: If this had happened, my ex would have said/done---, whereas this man is reacting totally differently.

My daughter (now married 7 years) had pretty much the same experience. She called me after meeting her FH and said something like, "What's wrong? This is too easy."

I don't know about you, but having experienced intense drama in a relationship, I can live without it!

myra@classysassyweddings.com

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GothicElegance Posts : 5 Registered: 12/27/10
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Dec 28, 2010 11:43 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

I knew right away. I contemplated marriage with a previous relationship but the moment I actually met my boyo, I knew.

Like Myras, part of when I knew he was the one, was the level of comfort. I feel safe and comfortable with him. I trust him completely.

We had actually met on the internet, OKCupid to be exact and it was around exam time so our talking was very scattered and full of stressful studying. So I invited him to come dancing with a couple I am friends with and me. I picked him up and the moment he got in the car, I knew it. On the two hour drive up to Charlotte where the venue was and my friends live, we talked about topic I would have normally felt very awkward talking about. I totally knew he was the one. =]

I didn't have the big fireworks, foot popping feeling. I wonder if it is a "growing up" thing? Or just a me thing. Hah.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Dec 29, 2010 7:11 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

Ladies,

Previous boyfriend had a bunch of losers in his family. His mother, especially, was a whining, griping bitchy type. I could do no right in her eyes.

Then, I got a new boyfriend and met his mother. She was wonderful. She still is. I met the rest of his family, and they were all great.

That's when I knew.

Weird? But after listening to "You're no better than the others. You'll just elope with my son and break his mother's heart." for a year and a half, I was going nuts.

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WoodlandBride Posts : 52 Registered: 1/6/11
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 10:24 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

The over simplified answer.... He was the one I couldn't scare away. There were plenty that ran, or I just walked away from. After 40 yrs I found the one who I won't leave and is not scared of my independence.

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Beeble Posts : 306 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 7, 2011 11:29 AM Go to message in response to: WoodlandBride

Like AOTB his parents had a lot to do with knowing he was the one as well. Previous bf was nuts and his parents we wierdos. When I met my SO we hit it off right away. The fact that he coaches kids all day and they absolutely love them spoke levels about how he would be as a father one day. When I met his parents, and then when they met my parents and everyone got along fabulously, that's when I knew.

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Madeleine7 Posts : 2 Registered: 10/7/10
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 7, 2011 1:47 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

I agree -- his family played a significant part in it, as did mine. My middle sister has always been very critical of the guys I date, and she made a point of telling me how comfortable she felt with him. And although I haven't logged tons of time with past boyfriends' families, I could just tell that I got lucky with his folks -- they're wonderful, and they treat me really well.

Honestly, I don't relate to the people who talk about the sort of magic, fireworks feelings they have about finding the one. I don't believe in "The One" -- I just think you find someone you love who you're compatible with, and you decide to commit to each other. And it helps a lot when your friends and families are compatible, too.

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Aunt Posts : 794 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 7, 2011 11:24 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

dear Beeble,

"Previous bf was nuts and his parents we wierdos."

Yep, been there done that.

It's been 37 years since I dumped ex-BF. About ten years ago, or so, I put his name in Google and discovered...

.
.
.
.
(drum roll please)
.
.
.
.
A COURT ORDER FOR A PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION.

Seems that ex-BF was involved in a lawsuit and acted so irrationally during the trial, the judge ordered him to undergo a psychiatric evaluation. Apparently, he did not comply, so the judge dismissed the lawsuit in favor of the other party.

Holy Mackerel, did I ever dodge a bullet with that one!!!

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mikesangel4lf Posts : 26 Registered: 4/11/09
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 8, 2011 11:25 AM Go to message in response to: Aunt

I understand all that. I have dated some doozies. I haven't been with the guy I am with for very long but he's the first guy I have dated that my whole family, not just one or two, likes. All my friends that have met him like him and they all get along. We can talk about everything and like to do almost all the same things. Its great.

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PolarIce Posts : 39 Registered: 12/17/10
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 8, 2011 3:35 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

It was the energy he projected. Building our relationship, was just so easy. It was so easy to talk, and we had so many things in common. There was respect, and trust right from the beginning. It was just so easy. He's always made me feel like the most incredible women.

As time has gone by, we've had our good times and we've had our bad times, but we have always been there 100% for each other.

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AaronsGirl2010 Posts : 2 Registered: 1/11/11
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 11, 2011 11:59 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

Well our story started 10 years ago. But we didn't last then, but he was looking for me for 3 years and when he finally found me on facebook we started talking again and things haven't changed. It seems like we started where we left off.

When we started talking again he told me he would do anything and everything to get me back into his life. (When at the time I had a bf) he told me that for the 10 years we were apart he never stopped thinking about me and never stopped loving me. He wound up stealing me from my bf and asked me out and I said yes.

He is such an amazing person. My last long term relationship was horrible and I told him that and he said that he's going to treat me like the queen that I am. He wants to give me the world and is hoping that he is being a good enough bf and I tell him he is more then a good bf he's an amazing one. I love him so much and I have never felt this much love in my life. He has changed my life for the better and I can't wait for him to become my husband.

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future_mrz_mart... Posts : 6 Registered: 1/11/11
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 13, 2011 1:11 AM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

We met online when we were 16 and 17. We were friends for a while. During that time I dated other guys and he was there for me through the break ups. Eventually I realized that I had fallen for him and we started dating. After about a month of being together I knew I wanted to marry him.

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kakers Posts : 12 Registered: 1/22/11
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Jan 23, 2011 6:43 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

He made me see how love is behavior, not words, even before we were officially together. He deployed not long after we got together and managed to make me feel like the center of his universe, even while he was half the world away. He does everything I could possibly want to make me happy without me even having to ask or even think of it first, even the little things that I used to fight tooth and nail with my ex for.

The clincher was when he flew to surprise me for Christmas when he was told last minute he could have leave for the weekend, and even did the reindeer dance, my families ridiculously silly Christmas Eve tradition.

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Heather2256 Posts : 8 Registered: 2/11/11
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Feb 11, 2011 2:27 AM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

Unlike previous posts, I did not know when we first met & it definately was not his family! When I first met him (we worked together), he walked into the room, had colored sunglasses on, 2 shirts one of which had the first few buttons unbuttoned & walked as if he was all that plus some. I just though "oh boy here we go" & was not impressed at all.

We got to know each other & I realized how smart & nice he was. We happened to live 5 minutes away from each other & so he asked if he could ride with me. I said yes & it went from there. And when I talked to my sister about him, she told me to be careful because of his family. She had lived next to his mother & siblings for a while. Boy was she right! We've been together 5 years & it's been rocky & hard from the start. There's always something going on with his family - someone needing a place to stay because for whatever reason they cannot take care of themself or someone's in jail, etc. But I love him & want to spend the rest of my life with him. When we first got together, I told him there's only two reasons why I would leave him - if he cheated or became abusive. Those are two things I will not stand for. And I've kept my word through everything.

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josie1986 Posts : 18 Registered: 1/3/11
Re: How did you know he was the One?
Posted: Feb 11, 2011 10:40 PM Go to message in response to: mikesangel4lf

Forgive me but this will be a morbid story. When we go to bed at night, he would lie down on his back. I always put my head on his chest and put my right leg on top of his waist. I thought about how if something were to happen to him, how would I sleep at night. I pictured myself going to his gravesite, lying down on the grass and snuggling on the ground. That's when I realized he was the one.

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