Wedding Planning & Etiquette

advanced search

Cake before dinner

Online Users: 1,342 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 13


Beeble Posts : 307 Registered: 11/19/09
Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 5, 2011 3:27 PM

I'm just wondering if anyone has done this before.

From every wedding I have been at there is a long gap between the ceremony and reception while people move locations and the bride and groom get pictures done. Drinks start being served and maybe some appies while ppl kill time. Then dinner comes around and people drink and eat more and by the time cake comes around people are full and drunk and I don't usually see too many people eat the cake/cupcakes.

I thought it might be a nice idea after the ceremony to do the cake cutting (no cake stuffing in the face) and have cake and tea and coffee for guests. Then with dinner have wine service and open the bar after the speeches.

I know it's a little backwards to have dessert before dinner, but what would you think if you were there?

cake , dinner , reception
email friend | report thread
Reply

sf Posts : 12 Registered: 1/5/11
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 5, 2011 4:26 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

we attended a wedding where the cake was served before the meal and we still talk about what a great idea it was-it really worked. people enjoyed the novelty and something nice to go with the champagne!

email friend | report thread
Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 5, 2011 4:38 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

I probably wouldn't eat the cake. But that's me.

At our wedding there was a cocktail hour with passed hor d'oevres and open bar while we got pics. Then we came in - announced, our couples dance and then we ate dinner.

We had about an hour of dancing after - did the cake for the wedding. There was little to no cake left over.

There was still about 2 hours of reception left.

I don't think there's anything wrong personally with having the cake before dinner - I just don't like to eat sweets except for after dinner. But I'm weird like that.

 

 

 

email friend | report thread
Reply


Aunt Posts : 796 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 5, 2011 5:57 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

Dear Beeble,

In theory, there's nothing wrong with mixing up the order of the dinner. You are proposing dessert first.

I suggest you talk to a few friends and relatives, especially elderly people who might have digestion issues and see what they think. Ask around and find out if any of your guests are diabetic, and then ask that person what they think.

If someone has a serious health-based objection, then you might reconsider. If not, then go for it.

email friend | report thread
Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 5, 2011 6:29 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

Oh and I know you mentioned not having an open bar at first - if you do the cake first - I totally agree.

In addition to AOTB, I was also concerned about anyone who may be diabetic or have food related health issues (this would also be an issue for my cousin's husband who's hyopglycemic).

 

 

 

email friend | report thread
Reply

deliciousappleb... Posts : 15 Registered: 8/21/10
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 2:30 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

As someone who has food-related health issues, I can tell you that I don't expect anyone to cater to my individual needs, never mind change their desired meal schedule over it. I'm only one person, I'm the exception, and I'm used to it.

If I were diabetic or hypoglycemic, I would certainly have methods for dealing with issues related to that, such as granola bars in my purse or something. I certainly wouldn't be thinking "Omg I'm diabetic and they're serving the cake too early for my individual needs, which are obviously more important than their own wishes or the satisfaction of all the other guests". You don't need to make huge changes for them, that's silly. Thoughtful, but silly. If you do have guests with these types of issues and you want to do something nice for them during your early cake, have other options available for them - they'll appreciate that you were careful to accommodate them, but they likely won't be expecting it.

Unless it's a seriously allergy, in which case that person should be offered a specific option, you don't need to change around anything for someone else's health issues. If this were an intimate dinner or small party at your home, that would be a different story, but it's not. It's your wedding. Do what you want. They know how to deal with it.

email friend | report thread
Reply


Aunt Posts : 796 Registered: 12/31/10
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 6:24 AM Go to message in response to: deliciousappleb...

Dear DA,

" I can tell you that I don't expect anyone to cater to my individual needs, never mind change their desired meal schedule over it."

True.

The OP is wavering on whether or not she should move the cake forward in the schedule. I just suggested she broach the subject with a few family members and anyone she might know who might have some kind of food-related health issue, such as diabetics.

Chances are those folks will tell her the same thing you did: "We are used to dealing with stuff like that." Then, the OP can go ahead with her plan without any nagging worry.

email friend | report thread
Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 7:34 AM Go to message in response to: deliciousappleb...

At the same time, most people expect to be served apps and dinner first depending on the time that the reception starts. I doubt they'd SAY anything, but I would leave and get something to eat if I had to.

Letting people KNOW that cake will be coming first is a GOOD idea. This is also good for anyone with kids. Let's face it - if kids are going to be there the parents can't be expected to have food with them for ALL the kids and if the reception is starting at 6 PM, that's going to be rough. (Now I don't know if kids are invited - and if the reception is planned to start at 4 PM then that's also different.)

I think time is a factor AND if apps are also served at the same time.

 

 

 

email friend | report thread
Reply


Beeble Posts : 307 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 11:25 AM Go to message in response to: deliciousappleb...

Delic... I totally agree with you. I think of everyone at our wedding we have 1 diabetic and he controls it through strict diet and will likely have everything he needs.

I think doing the cake, tea and coffee thing will work, but maybe also have a couple trays with veggies, cheese crackers etc avail for when we leave to go do the pictures.

Thanks for your input guys!

We are probably going fairly non traditional anyways so I don't think it will throw anyone off.

email friend | report thread
Reply


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 11:42 AM Go to message in response to: Beeble

If you are leaving to do pictures then I think the trays you are suggesting are a really good idea. Like I said, it also depends on time. But if you are starting the reception at 6, doing cake, going to get pics and not eating until....? Having come finger foods would be a really good idea.

 

 

 

email friend | report thread
Reply


Beeble Posts : 307 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 12:23 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

If we decide to go with the venue we have put on our maybe list (see wedding for charity thread) it will be really easy to customize the food to suit our needs as they have never done a wedding before and the kitchen manager is very excited at the possibility and said we can totally customize our meal plan. (lunch dinner and breakfast the next day)

email friend | report thread
Reply


myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 1:32 PM Go to message in response to: Beeble

Sorry, I'm a traditionalist when it comes to eating my dinner--I like my sweets last. But there's nothing wrong with staging your CAKE CUTTING early in the affair, say, after your first dance. Make a big deal out of it. Then, the cake is whisked away, cut out of the view of your guests, plated beautifully, and ready to be served for dessert (or along with other desserts).

myra@classysassyweddings.com

email friend | report thread
Reply

smalltownlady Posts : 16 Registered: 8/18/10
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 10, 2011 3:27 PM Go to message in response to: deliciousappleb...

Deliciousappleblue,

I just wanted to say thank-you so much for saying you don't expect anyone to cater to your needs.

I have a friend with food related health issues who insists on having the number of the caterer of any wedding she goes to so they can make a special meal that coincides with her dietary preferences.

Her attitude is "you invited me, health needs and all, so I expect them catered to."

I don't mean to hijack this thread at all, I just wanted to say thank-you .

email friend | report thread
Reply


Beeble Posts : 307 Registered: 11/19/09
Re: Cake before dinner
Posted: Jan 10, 2011 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: smalltownlady

The only way I think that I would have to make an exception is if someone had a very severe allergy to something that could easily be eliminated or avoided. For example seafood. However if it was something like being allergic to wasps and I was set on an outdoor venue I think it would be up to the guest to bring their epi pen, or decide not to come.

Back to the original topic, my fiance and I have decided that we will do this, especially if we end up getting the venue at the camp. With being on another property we won't start the alcohol consumption until dinner so that we don't end up with any rowdy's. We might do something like fresh fruit and ice cream after dinner for dessert.

email friend | report thread
Reply
RSS

Join

Email

App

App

WIN

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift

Find Local Vendors

From Florists to Photographers...

are you a vendor? Click Here

Find your BRIDES wedding website below

Subscribe to Brides magazine