No Cameras Please

Online Users: 1,281 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 6

Lemoncakeface Posts : 33 Registered: 11/13/09
No Cameras Please
Posted: Dec 15, 2010 3:43 PM

I'm a pretty shy and private person. Would it be rude for our officiant to ask guests to refrain from using cameras during the ceremony?

Standing up in front of everyone is going to be nerve wracking enough without the added distraction of cameras clicking and lights flashing.

Our wedding isn't taking place inside a church so I can't use the excuse that its against church policy and we will be having a professional photographer.

In addition to not wanting the extra stresses I also don't want my ceremony ending up on facebook. I just feel like its a highly intimate and personal experience that I don't want friends of friends of coworkers elementary friends to see.

How else can I let my guests know to not use their cameras? A small sign? A note in the program?

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: No Cameras Please
Posted: Dec 15, 2010 4:23 PM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

Dear LCF,

Totally OK.

At my church, our rector dislikes photography during a worship service of any kind. I agree. At the beginning of a service, such as a wedding or baptism, where there are many non-member friends and relatives present, she comes out before the ceremony starts and makes a few opening annoucements.

Typically, she'll tell everyone that in our church, Holy Communion is open to everyone, saints and sinners. She mentions that there is a point in the litugy where the congregation is asked to respond, and encourages everyone respond heartily. Finally, she will ask that no photographs be taken by anyone other than a professional who might be hired for the event. She will add that she is happy to pose for photos after the event with the newlywed couple, or the baptized kid, even re-enacting parts of the ceremony.

If anyone tries to sneak a photo during the service, our rector is perfectly willing to stop everything, single out the miscreant and say "May I remind you, and others, that we do not allow photography during the service/ceremony.".

She's really good at shaming people who step out of line, believe me.

You basically need to do the same. It doesn't matter that you are not in a church. You are in some venue where you are the hosts, and the hosts get to set the rules.

I suggest you do a few things.

First, tell everyone you know to spread the word that you do not want photography, except the pro, during the ceremony.

Talk with your professional photographer and make sure he/she understands that no flash may be used during the ceremony, and be very clear as to what photos you want taken during the ceremony.

Dump anyone from the guest list who you think might think it funny to ignore your preferences on this.

Talk with your officiant and ask that person to make a similar announcement before the ceremony starts, while you are still "hidden" from the guests. Ask your officiant to come down on anyone who sneaks a photo against your express wishes.

Make sure the ushers and greeters are fully empowered to tell anyone toting a camera to go back and leave it in the car. You might set up a secure place (near the gift table?) where cameras can be left without fear of theft.

I don't blame you a bit!

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: No Cameras Please
Posted: Dec 15, 2010 9:23 PM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

I agree with having your officiant make the announcement (and enforce it, if anyone steps out of line).

Even with professionals, I HATE flashes going off during the ceremony. I have seen weddings where photogs have set up lights on stands and even balanced themselves on ladders or chairs to get photos of the happy couple--really tacky and distracting, in my opinion. Especially in these days of digital, it's totally unnecessary to do these things. In my congregation, professional photographers have to stay out of the way, in the back or on the sidelines, during ceremonies. If that compromises the "perfect" picture, oh, well. This is a wedding, not a red carpet or stage performance.

myra@classysassyweddings.com

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: No Cameras Please
Posted: Dec 15, 2010 10:15 PM Go to message in response to: myras

Dear Myra,

" This is a wedding, not a red carpet or stage performance."

Exactly.

The rector of my church says "We will pose for the photo op after the ceremony." She doesn't want to compromise the solemnity of the ceremony with pops, clicks and flashes.

This brings up another thing that was mentioned in another thread. Ask your pro photographer to dress like the ideal guest. I find it distracting to see a photographer in sloppy clothes in the midst of nicely-dressed guests.

That's fine for a fashion spread, but not a wedding. The photographer should blend in with the crowd.

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MagicalMomentsP... Posts : 742 Registered: 3/6/06
Re: No Cameras Please
Posted: Dec 15, 2010 11:41 PM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

Hello and congratulations on your upcoming wedding. I can certainly understand people who are camera shy. Hey! That's why I became a photographer -- so I wouldn't have my photo taken (now you all know a dirty little photographer secret). Seriously, I do understand you wanting to keep this as an intimate affair. Hopefully, when you were looking for a photographer, you found somebody who shared your feelings on the matter. What you don't need nor want is a photographer who will be in your face all day. You really want a discrete photographer. Please understand, there are photos where you will have to know the photographer is there. But you should be able to discuss your concerns with your photographer to make sure they are discrete. That means, standing up the aisle to take photos with a telephoto lens instead of from the front row.

You should also realize many photographers blog about their current weddings. If this bothers you, the time to talk about it is before the wedding and before the photos are blogged. Otherwise you will create bad feelings. Photographers want to show off their work. Finally, if you are having an on-line gallery of your professional wedding photos, you should most certainly talk to your photographer about who will be allowed to access the gallery. A little communication beforehand goes a long way in preventing problems later on.

Howard Kier, Certified Professional Wedding Photographer

Magical Moments Photography


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JessicaG Posts : 6 Registered: 1/3/11
Re: No Cameras Please
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 10:23 AM Go to message in response to: MagicalMomentsP...

I'd just like to add a quick suggestion on giving an explanation, if you feel you have to.

Tell as many people as you can beforehand that you do not want cameras at the wedding, and then, or at the ceremony, remind them, but perhaps say something along the lines of "we are having this professionally photographed, and there will be photos available." Mention that other photographers would be in the way of your pro and flashes could compromise his (or her) photos.

Maybe have a separate book or "sign up" where people can leave their contact information if they wish to see photos or get a copy.

I understand not wanting other cameras at the ceremony (I suspect I will do the same), and not wanting random photos everywhere, but I'm sure your family and friends will want something to remember your day and how beautiful you looked! At least this way, you can control exactly what images go out. You could even select only one or two and offer people the choice to purchase prints.

Could they still end up on facebook? Sure. But I have to assume people know you are getting married (and if they don't and you wear a band, they'll figure it out eventually), and one or two shots of just you and the groom should not be an issue if you know that there are no pics of Cousin Gertrude picking her nose. Not to mention, it is perfectly reasonable to state to whomever gets copies that you absolutely do not want them put out through social media.

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swichwang34 Posts : 657 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: No Cameras Please
Posted: Sep 15, 2012 3:21 PM Go to message in response to: Lemoncakeface

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