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Does the ring really matter?

Online Users: 1,222 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 16


mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Nov 21, 2010 10:29 PM

Hey everyone, its been awhile since I have posted on here. Me and my bf have been together for 2 1/2 years now and have been talking about engagement for awhile and he has told me several times that when he gets the money (which he thought he had awhile back so he told me he was going to get the ring by the end of December, which is now not the case) he has told me at the latest that he will buy the ring by February, 2011 and the proposal will be around spring/summer,2011. Me and him are tight on money which is why he has not bought the ring yet, even though the ring we have chosen costs $98.
My question is if the ring matters at all in a engagement.

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KCI Posts : 150 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Nov 22, 2010 12:00 AM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

It doesn't matter if you don't want it to matter. Not having a ring on your finger doesn't make your engagement "less real". In fact I think good for you that you are more into the engagement than the ring - many people can be more focused on the ring.

As receiving a ring is the norm, you just have to be prepared for everyone to ask you to see your ring. Just tell them you chose not to wear one, or whatever answer you want to give them.

Rings are popular because of the diamond industry and advertising. I got engaged last weekend and I received a ring, and I love it. But it's the love and commitment between you and your bf that actually makes him your husband-to-be, not a ring on your finger.

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*Met: 9/17/2009 *Started Dating: 11/14/2009 *Engaged: 11/13/2010 *Mr and Mrs: 9/17/2011
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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,286 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Nov 22, 2010 4:37 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

If it makes you feel better, my setting (and wedding band)was on clearance (we used the stone from my grandmothers wedding ring)....and the set was $250.00.

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deliciousappleb... Posts : 15 Registered: 8/21/10
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Nov 22, 2010 6:21 PM Go to message in response to: KCI

I don't think jewelry is important or necessary for an engagement or anything else. I've been engaged most of a year already and I'm just getting a ring now. I don't remember anyone really asking why I didn't have one or thinking it was weird that I didn't. We couldn't afford it then, and now we can. We didn't get one because it actually mattered to anything, but because he thought it would be nice and we have the money.

I think most people are surprised how many couples
don't bother with a ring, until they're one of them. :)

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HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Nov 24, 2010 6:42 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I appreciate the way everyone posted this. "it matters if you make it matter". The amount of money you spend on the ring should not matter. What is important is it means to YOU not the rest of us, or your neighbor next door.


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dodgercpkl Posts : 130 Registered: 9/27/09
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Nov 24, 2010 7:49 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

My husband didn't have a ring for me when he proposed. It didn't matter to me one bit! We did choose a ring that I already had for a "placeholder" and then later, he bought me an $89 (with tax) e-ring. While having either of those rings was nice as a visual, neither was necessary! I knew I was engaged and so did my hubby. :) As others have said, it's only as important as you want it to be.


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PrincessEnglish Posts : 13 Registered: 9/24/10
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Nov 29, 2010 9:10 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I think there is a lot of pressure on men to buy huge diamonds to propose with. My boyfriend always thinks so, but to me its just not important. I would rather save the money for traveling and a house.

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ginarook Posts : 15 Registered: 11/30/10
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Dec 13, 2010 6:25 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

I don't think it matters, unless it's more important to you that you put your money in a jewelers pocket.

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HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Dec 14, 2010 1:49 PM Go to message in response to: PrincessEnglish

I agree with you. I think it's today's expectation. The second you hear someone is married, the first thing you want to do is to check out the ring.


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WoodlandBride Posts : 52 Registered: 1/6/11
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Jan 6, 2011 11:05 PM Go to message in response to: HamzicBride

The ring does not matter to me to get engaged... though I do want one. But it does to him. Therefore, I am not "officially" engaged yet. We have found a ring on CL that we can afford and I know he will mwke it official as soon as we get it back from being resized. In the meanwhile I am starting the planning as we would like to get married in October of this year.
But my point is... it was REALLY important to him to have a ring. We are older than most of you lovebirds out there (I am 41 he is 45) and this is a first (and only) marriage for both of us. So the age may contribute to the traditionalism. I did not want to offend his sense of masculinity, so I have been waiting a while, but we are going to spend the rest of our lives together , so what is a little more time?

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PolarIce Posts : 39 Registered: 12/17/10
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Jan 8, 2011 3:23 PM Go to message in response to: WoodlandBride

What is important is what YOUR heart tells you. No one can tell you it's important or not. If it is important to you, as a vibrant women, with a wonderful future husband, then it is!

To us it was very important. The amount the ring is (as per a really silly thread that was started by someone else), doesnt matter. What you choose, what you decide to wear, or even where you get it from doesn't matter. What matters is the symbol of it, what matters, is that it means something really special to you, so good for you-it's really exciting to hear you found your ring! wear it proudly.

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kathyarora Posts : 9 Registered: 1/5/11
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Jan 22, 2011 10:26 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

Some things we do because it comes from tradition. We don't even think about why we do it. We just do it cause everyone else does it. so, if you don't have to follow tradition then it doesn't matter. The ring is a symbol. If you don't need the symbol and what you two have is real, that's all you need. Sounds like the ring doesn't really matter anyways, it costs $98. If it really mattered that much you would probably want a much more expensive ring.

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wzq103 Posts : 2,771 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 3:37 AM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

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swichwang34 Posts : 1,473 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 6:35 PM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

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smthwu123 Posts : 1,415 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Does the ring really matter?
Posted: Sep 15, 2012 7:46 AM Go to message in response to: mainstdancer08

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