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His family seems disinterested...

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lurveloaveluff Posts : 3 Registered: 3/7/10
His family seems disinterested...
Posted: Nov 8, 2010 1:52 PM

I absolutly adore my fiance's family, and from what I understand they feel the same way. So I am completely stumped as to why they want to invite zero guests to the wedding.

His family lives on the east coast and the wedding is in the midwest, so I do understand how this is a destination type wedding in their perspective. As such, I would imagine not too many coastal invitees would actually attend. It is my line of thinking that it is better to ask and get turned down then not ask at all, is this just midwestern thinking?

I currenty have a guest list of 100, with only 4 being from his side ( not including groomsmen). It just doesn't seem that fair in my opinion for someone who is so deeply rooted in family and community to have so few people there.

Edited by: lurveloaveluff on Nov 8, 2010 1:52 PM

midwest , east , coast
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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: His family seems disinterested...
Posted: Nov 8, 2010 2:05 PM Go to message in response to: lurveloaveluff

Well you can't force them to invite people. Of our ~150 guests, 10 I think were DH's family. But we invited more, knowing they probably wouldn't travel.

They may not want people to feel obligated to send a gift if they are invited 'knowing' they won't attend.

Basically, I would talk it over with your FH but let him deal with his family. If that's what they want - then that's what they want.

Maybe see if you guys can host an informal party for any family unable to travel - it can be informal but have the wedding pics for everyone to look at, etc. Just a thought.

 

 

 

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lurveloaveluff Posts : 3 Registered: 3/7/10
Re: His family seems disinterested...
Posted: Nov 8, 2010 2:46 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Thank you very much! This was a huge help, I let my fiancee read this and he thought it would be a good idea to throw a beach party in his home town after our honeymoon. I never thought about the idea that people would feel obligated, and after seeing this post FH explained that his potential invitees would spend money they didn't have to send a gift or travel. Before when I asked he would just say "its not a good idea to."

I really appreciate your assistance.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: His family seems disinterested...
Posted: Nov 8, 2010 3:01 PM Go to message in response to: lurveloaveluff

LLL-

So glad my advice was helpful and that the two of you were able to discuss it further! This way, you know it's NOTHING to do with you and just the desire not to put too much on others.

Love the idea of a beach party! Like I said, informal and fun but you can show off pics - probably not professional ones, but hopefully some friends/family will have taken some and be able to have gotten them to you.

For my BIL's (brother in law) wedding, I went home and spent a good deal of the night editing the over 200 pics I took (ended up with about 170) and made CDs for my BIL/SIL, my ILs and my SIL's LARGE extended family. They all appreciated it so much.

 

 

 

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Kimberly212 Posts : 2,211 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: His family seems disinterested...
Posted: Dec 2, 2012 4:00 PM Go to message in response to: lurveloaveluff

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