Almost Engaged

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anxiousfloridag... Posts : 10 Registered: 9/30/10
Almost Engaged
Posted: Oct 27, 2010 1:07 PM

I don't know many people that is in the same situation as me. Last night, my FH and I talked about when we wanted to get married. I wanted to get married in October 2011, he wanted March 2012 (he wanted to wait until after the holidays). I agreed to March 2012. He seemed very interested and excited about setting a date. My question is, he hasn't officially proposed, so when do I tell my mother? I asked him (this morning) when should I tell my mother and he said when its official. What does that mean? Should I wait until I get the ring? HELP ME PLEASE!!



auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Almost Engaged
Posted: Oct 27, 2010 1:55 PM Go to message in response to: anxiousfloridag...

Dear AF,

You've agreed to get married, and talked about a date.

Guess what: You are engaged.

Engagement starts as a private understanding between the couple, then move to a public announcement and active planning. You are at that private understanding stage.

So, keep it under your hat for a while.

Eventually, you will both reach the point of making it public. He's just not quite "there", yet.


If March, 2012, comes and goes without any kind of "official" proposal and public announcement, then cut your losses and bail. You should not have to go year after year waiting for him to become ready. If you have marriage as one of your personal life goals, then you should be involved with someone with similar life goals, not a guy who isn't "ready" until 2030.


HamzicBride Posts : 178 Registered: 12/28/09
Re: Almost Engaged
Posted: Oct 28, 2010 5:29 PM Go to message in response to: anxiousfloridag...

Well that's really exciting! I agree it sounds like he wants you to wait until you have the ring on your finger.


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Almost Engaged
Posted: Nov 2, 2010 11:58 AM Go to message in response to: anxiousfloridag...

I was in the same situation as you but I didn't start to tell people until I had the ring on my finger.

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Jackson421 Posts : 4 Registered: 10/21/09
Re: Almost Engaged
Posted: Nov 12, 2010 11:14 AM Go to message in response to: anxiousfloridag...

I totally understand what your going through. Over a year ago now, my FH asked me if he should start looking for a ring. Then this past May, I moved in with him, so my dad decided to stop paying my college tuition. Originally we had talked about getting engaged this past June or July, but obviously that didn't happen. Right now we are working with our finances trying to actually afford a ring, but since we've had that just between us type of engagement for over a year now I'm getting very impatient. FH says that he will get me a ring before I graduate (December 2011), but I'm having trouble believing that the proposal will happen next year (because it's already gotten bumped once due to me moving in). I'm working in addition to going to school, so I am trying to help. It's something I think about all the time and have made many wedding plans (just gathering ideas anyway), but can't tell anyone (he doesn't want me to). I'm still waiting til I have a ring on my finger (even if sometimes I feel like it's never going to happen).


KCI Posts : 150 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: Almost Engaged
Posted: Nov 16, 2010 12:50 PM Go to message in response to: Jackson421

Anxious - give yourself a mental deadline for a proposal. Don't tell him, don't tell anyone else. If he hasn't proposed by that date, the you should walk. If marriage is important to you, you need to find someone who also finds marriage important.

He may very well be trying to be settled financially before proposing, and that is not a bad idea. But you could run into a snag if he is just using it as an excuse. So pick a deadline for yourself, and just enjoy the relationship until that point.

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mainstdancer08 Posts : 140 Registered: 3/27/08
Re: Almost Engaged
Posted: Nov 21, 2010 9:16 PM Go to message in response to: anxiousfloridag...

Wait until you get the ring

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JenniferWillson Posts : 70 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Almost Engaged
Posted: Sep 12, 2012 9:44 AM Go to message in response to: anxiousfloridag...

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