Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...
Posted: Sep 13, 2010 7:51 PM Go to message in response to: wishingandhoping1

Ladies,

I'll add this.

Some years back, many years back, when I was in high school, I met a nice guy. He asked me out and we became GF/BF.

I was 16, he was 19.

He was not really ready (as mentioned in this message) to have a steady girlfriend. He would do the dumb kinds of things 19-year old boys do. He'd tell me he was coming by, then would not show up. He'd drop by without telling me in advance, then be miffed if I wasn't there.

(After being the mother of two teenaged boys, I saw that kind of behavior over and over with my sons and their male friends. I did my best to teach them, but... 19-year old boy can be such idiots when it comes to girls. Even my own two little angels.)

Ok, enough digression. I found out that the year before I arrived at this high school, my BF had dated a girl a bit younger than I was. This other girl was incredibly needy. She CLUNG to her boyfriend. She wanted attention all the time, every day. She was always pressing him to give her his class ring so they could officially "Go Steady", as we said back then. She LOOOOOVVVVVEEEDDDDD him and would do anything for him.

This got on his nerves, and he broke up with her. Some months later, after the new school year, he met me. I never mentioned his class ring, never talked about "Going Steady" and gave him a piece of my mind when he treated me poorly.

Which girl did he come back to over and over? Me. Which girl did he actively avoid? The Clinging Vine.

Moral of the story: Have a life. Don't invest your entire happiness in being the wife or fiancée or girlfriend of this one man. If he doesn't treat you the way you should be treated, talk to him about it, but if things don't change, move on with your life.

The OP has her deadline, and that's excellent. She can now relax and have a life knowing there will be a resolution, some resolution, between now and after New Year's. Either she will be engaged and moving on to a real marriage, or she will be out looking for someone else who better suits her own life goals.

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cphillips361 Posts : 3 Registered: 9/20/10
Re: Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...
Posted: Sep 20, 2010 2:19 AM Go to message in response to: wishingandhoping1

I have a suggestion. Keep your 1/1/11 date. If it doesn't happen by then, sit down and talk to him. Tell him then exactly how you feel. Let him know that you are giving him a month, two at the most to make his decision, if its not what you are wanting, then leave. If he isn't willing to go the next step after you talk to him, then he isn't worth it girl. Believe me, I've been there. When my ex husband and I were dating, I kept talking about getting married. He was all for it to begin with, but then started dragging his feet about getting the ring. I finally got him to go with me to look at rings. There was no real proposal after he finally got the ring. We ended up getting divorced after 5 years of marriage. Just think on what I said, and see if it sounds anything like what you are going through.

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anxiousfloridag... Posts : 10 Registered: 9/30/10
Re: Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...
Posted: Sep 30, 2010 2:51 PM Go to message in response to: wishingandhoping1

Hello- I'm in the same situation except my boyfriend and I have been together 3 years. Its such a nerve-wrecking situation. I want to spend my life with him, and I don't know if he feels the same way about me. This makes me scared and angry. But, I wil not rush him. When the time is right, or when he is ready. i believe he will ask

[url=http://www.tickercentral.com][img]http://www.tickercentral.com/view/ajwe/2.png[/img][/url]

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Kimberly212 Posts : 972 Registered: 9/12/12
Re: Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...
Posted: Sep 18, 2012 6:44 AM Go to message in response to: wishingandhoping1

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...
Posted: Sep 27, 2012 7:23 PM Go to message in response to: wishingandhoping1

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kalama Posts : 299 Registered: 7/26/12
Re: Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting...
Posted: Oct 4, 2012 2:41 AM Go to message in response to: wishingandhoping1

It is really a long story,I wonder that if all boys do not want to get married with a girl,he wants freedom and he does not take responsiblity for the girl he lives together!It is really a difficult for me?Why girls want marriage but boys do not?

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