Why wear uncomfortable clothes?

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 29, 2010 11:25 AM


I went to a party last night that had a Polynesian theme. The highlight of the evening was Polynesian dancers, and they were just delightful. I enjoyed them very much.

They were beautiful, graceful, feminine and were absolutely comfortable in their clothes. I thought of that in comparison to some bridal gowns and attire I have seen.

The Polynesian dancers wore a variety of costumes, but in all cases they were either barefoot or in flip-flop sandals. Some had little mini-wreaths of flowers around an ankle, others did not. Their feet were, therefore, comfortable.

They started out in Polynesian print dresses. The dresses varied, but they were mostly scoop-necked with ruffled or puffed short sleeves. Some were ankle length, others knee length, but there was nothing strapless, nothing to hike up, nothing to pinch or bind. You would wear a dress all day just like that and never have an uncomfortable moment. They did not have to interrupt the dance to pull something up or push something down. The dresses just flowed down their bodies, naturally, as they moved through the dances.

Later they switched to grass skirts over bike shorts. On the top they wore short-sleeved Hawaiian print shirts with the shirt tails tied up under the bosum. Again, very comfortable, as well as beautiful and graceful.

All the ladies' hair was worn long, loose and flowing. No need for elaborate hair styles, no hair pins, no pointy combs.

Now, compare that to the average bride who is wearing a strapless ball gown, with a tight corset, boning, and shoes with high heels. That's a recipe for an evening of discomfort, if you ask me. Add pointy hair pins and combs for an elaborate hair style, and you are uncomfortable from head to toe.

At the advanced age of 56, I am now all about personal comfort in my clothes. I won't wear something that pokes, points, squeezes or jabs me. I wear flat shoes and clothes that fit without having to be constantly adjusted. My hair style is a simple page boy. I get dressed in the morning, comb my hair, and leave the house, then think little of my clothes, hair and shoes the rest of the day.

Now, obviously, you don't want to dress like a Polynesian dancer on your wedding day. (Unless that is your theme.) You don't want to be barefooted or wear a muu-muu. But I suggest you think carefully about personal comfort when you choose your wedding dress, shoes and hair style. There are dresses out there that do not attack the wearer with boning, sticky pointy things and tight lacing. There are shoes out there that look great, but can be worn standing up for hours. There are hairstyles that feel and look great.

Food for thought, ladies.


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 29, 2010 6:44 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Very good point Aunt. I am the same way as you are everyday. I get up in the morning and put on something comfortable and go. My hair is always down and I dont wear makeup or hair spray or heels. HOWEVER....wedding day is a whole different story. If I had my way I would wear jeans on wedding day lol. But of course I can't have that. I want to look pretty. My dress is tight, I can barely breathe, I have 3 inch heels (did I mention I dont wear heels?!), and I will have many pins in my hair. Someone at work once told me that her grandmother used to say to her, "oh, the price you have to pay to be beautiful" :)

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angiebgreat Posts : 11 Registered: 8/20/10
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 30, 2010 11:47 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

AOTB, GREAT ADVICE, I have to tell you the first thing that came to my mind was my corset I had to wear on my wedding day! And my question/comment is why did I do that to myself or at least why didnt I wear it around a couple of times before the day to get use to it! "The girls" got to see the light of day and say hello plus go to places that never have been before! LOL! If you are not use to wearing one I am highly recommending to wear it before the big day to get use to it and wear it in!


MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 30, 2010 12:27 PM Go to message in response to: angiebgreat

Fit, fit, fit.

Seriously, it's about how the clothing fits.

I think the problem is that many women think that they buy the dress, and because they buy it in the right size, they only have to get it hemmed, and not altared.

The truth is, virtually every dress will need to be altared to fit your body comfortably. (men typically know this -- they are used to buying suits, which almost always need alterations).

I wore a strapless gown, and it fit beautifully. Not once did I fill the need to pull it up, and I wore that dress for a good 7 hours (from 5 to midnight). Why? Because the person I hired was an experienced tailor who knew how to tailor it. I danced all night, and moved completely comfortably. In fact, I was kinda shocked at how comfortable I was.

So, in my opinion, budget at least an extra $100 for dress fitting (it was $200 for me), and find someone GOOD.

Last thing: when you feel uncomfortable, you don't look good. I don't know how many times my hubs will say to me, looking at a woman walking down the street "Why is she walking like that?" to which I respond "Because her shoes hurt." Believe, me, people notice, and it takes away from your appearance.


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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 30, 2010 1:36 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I enjoy fashion and, even at my age, I'm considered to be "trendy." But, my problem is shoes. Why does pretty have to equal miserable, and comfort equal ugly? Who actually walks around all day in five inch stilettos? And, if you don't (or, in my case, can't) wear those shoes, what's the alternative? Right now, my knees are a mess, so I have no choice--comfy flats for the next couple of months (until knee replacement). I finally, finally found a store that has shoes that are both comfortable and fashionable. But, even the edgy, comfy shoes with the 2 1/2" heels are waiting in the closet now until I can wear them again.

As far as weddings go, choose comfortable. With most gowns, the shoes don't really get seen anyhow. My daughter's were lower heels that were comfortable all day, even though other shoes were far sexier. Her best friend just got married in 4" red stilettos. She lasted about an hour and changed to flats.



auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 30, 2010 4:07 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

Dear Ms D,

"Last thing: when you feel uncomfortable, you don't look good."

Exactly. I agree 100%.

I wear flat shoes all the time (knee issues) and believe I actually look better because I have a smile on my face and feel perfectly comfortable in my clothes.

I went to a wedding, once, in my flats. One lady said quite seriously "I would give you one hundred dollars, right now, to rent those shoes for another two hours. My feet are killing me."


FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 30, 2010 8:56 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

You can definitly be "beautiful" or "all dolled-up" while still being comfortable, it just really depends on how your attire fits you, and how it was made. Of course certain things will be uncomfortable no matter what, and it's not like you can wear flip flops and sweats to certain events, so sometimes you just gotta spend the extra time (or maybe money) to find something that won't be hurting you after 2 hours.

For my wedding, I did spend the extra dollar (didn't break the bank though) on my dress and shoes and I wore that dress for nearly 12 hours, and the shoes for nearly 6. I usually change my outfit atleast once a day (not counting pj's) so I was really surprised when it was after midnight and I wasn't dying to get out of the dress! All those "final" fittings definitly paid off, I wasn't hiking it up all night or running off to unzip it just so I could breathe. I ate, walked around, sat down, stood up, and danced all night in it.

For my shoes, I'm accustomed to wearing heels (when your only 5ft you kind of have to be ;) ) and I've always found heels way more comfortable than ballet flats, it just all comes down to on if your wearing a good quality shoe, or a poorly made shoe. Most people cringe just at the thought of how high my heels were, but I wore them for about 6 hours before I took them off, and the only reason I did take them off was because the strap across my toes was starting to pinch. The balls of my feet, my arches, my calves, everything else was totally fine though. Shoes are one thing that you definitly pay for what you get


MissApril Posts : 276 Registered: 1/21/09
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 31, 2010 10:28 AM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

Aunt, you bring up a great point. I'm glad you did, because I have to admit, I've felt like a real freak looking for something comfortable in a bridal salon. But I have a lot to consider. I need a brace to help with my posture as it's difficult for me to hold myself up properly, and if I don't my back hurts like a mo**** fu****. Also I need a large, supportive bra. So the dress needs to be nice and not too form fitting.
And I'm allergic to adhesives, so my shoes better not cut me, as bandaids make big rashes on any cuts. Also means my hair had better be easy to deal with because hair spray is an adhesive. Yup. So hair will be easy going, also.
Anyway, just making the point, I guess, that I don't like the expectation that you have to be uncomfortable to get married. Isn't the idea of such a large commitment stressful enough?

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cyndi33 Posts : 2,585 Registered: 1/3/07
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 31, 2010 6:14 PM Go to message in response to: MissApril

Of course you don't need to be uncomfortable, but comfort is defined by the specific person involved. So, if the bride wants to have her hair and makeup done, then she will. If she prefers not to, then she won't.

Same with dresses. What is uncomfortable to one, isn't to another.

I wore a strapless dress, I had no problems with it, it was comfortable and I had it on from about 2pm to midnight. I never once had to pull it up, and it was not tight. I loved my dress. For someone else, particularly someone who loathes strapless dresses, it is likely not to be a 'comfortable' choice. And that's fine.

I also had my hair done. There were probably close to 50 clips or so in it. I didn't feel them, they definitely weren't uncomfortable, and I loved how my hair looked.

My shoes? Nope, I don't do heels, almost never, so got pretty shoes (defined by me as pretty, my style that is) that had about 1/4 heels. Comfortable. To me. And really, isn't that the point? For the bride to do what's most comfortable for her when it comes to her dress, hair and makeup, and also what she knows her FH likes?

I mean, sure, that first look is awesome and had I come in wearing something odd (for me) with my hair undone and no makeup on, my FH would have married me, he would still have thought me pretty, but he also would have wondered why. Would have been totally unlike me. I'd of given the outward impression this wasn't important since yes, I dress up for events like weddings, especially my own. So not doing so would have been completely out of character and completely NOT comfortable, to me.

I don't want to wear makeup such that I look like someone about to go on stage, but yes, I prefer some and that's what I had put on...some, so that I was comfortable. And, I was. I'd love to be able to use that kind everyday but I don't know how to put it on, airbrush makeup that is. I definitely loved it though!!

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2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 31, 2010 9:39 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

For me, it was possible to get a strapless dress that would stay up, so that's what I wore. I didn't have to hitch it up even once--and I wore it for the ceremony and luncheon in Massachusetts, and again for the at-home reception in DC.

However, my wife is more well endowed than I, and did not want a strapless dress. We found her one so beautiful that I gasped the first time I saw it on her, but which had nice secure straps.

And as for shoes, I wear orthopedic ones most of the time. (They are not technically necessary, but I've found them to be quite comfortable.) For the wedding, I went with "wedding slippers" which were totally flat, and felt like bedroom slippers. The only issue I had with them was that they proved not to be very efficient when we went to break the glass at the end of the ceremony.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 31, 2010 11:43 PM Go to message in response to: 2dBride

OMG 2dbride - You and I had the same dress! LOL It looked lovely on you if I do say so myself!

So I obviously was in a strapless, I am well endowed and I did have it altered well and it fit beautifully. I was comfy.

My shoes were comfortable, BUT I didn't wear panty hose and I sweated, so I ended up with a huge blister. So off went the shoes for the reception and ON went my birkenstocks. I didn't care. LOL I wanted to be comfortable!!

I'm fortunate that for work I HAVE to wear fully closed shoes, so sneakers it is.

As Cyndi said (and others) what's comfy is all defined by the person. Personally, flip flops are the LEAST comfy shoe I can have on as my arches are falling and I desperately need arch support. So that nixes flip flops.

Also, I LOVE jeans. I'm comfy in jeans. I'm weird - but I'm OK with that!





auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Aug 31, 2010 11:51 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Dear PTG,

" I can have on as my arches are falling and I desperately need arch support"

Your Birkenstocks are the best!

I had a bad case of plantar fasciitis some years back, and I LIVED in my Birkies for about six months. I was barefoot only in the shower, or when off my feet in bed or a chair.


2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Sep 1, 2010 12:25 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

@PharmToxGirl: Wow! You are the first person I have ever run across that had the same dress as me. I kept thinking that it was produced for years--presumably someone besides me must have worn it!

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2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: Why wear uncomfortable clothes?
Posted: Sep 1, 2010 12:27 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

@auntofthebride: I had plantar fasciitis as well, which is how I started wearing orthopedic shoes. After that ended, I had learned how comfortable those shoes were, and just never stopped wearing them.

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