Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!

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ldspir8princess Posts : 7 Registered: 6/4/08
Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 8:26 PM

A little background info: I am one of those atypical brides with a whirlwind romance. I met my fiancťe on a dating website in May. We actually physically met after two weeks of communication (email, text messaging, phone calls, etc). We got engaged on July 24 at a family party (so it totally caught me off guard LOL) I accepted and have been perfectly happy with the date we chose until about 3 days ago. Now both my family and his family are pressuring us to wait much longer before tying the knot. We are planning on October 8 of this year (yes, that makes 5 months from meet to marry) and have almost everything scheduled. We have a ceremony venue, the reception venue, a limo, my dress, a photographer, a videographer... like everything is done for the wedding day.

What is causing the most drama for both families is that he works full time in Salt Lake City (downtown) and I go to school full time in Provo (about an hour south) so housing is causing a big issue for us. We don't know where we can live as neither of us have a house or an apartment we can live at once we are married. Everyone is saying we need to wait a lot longer before we get married because there isn't enough time to figure everything out before October 8. We don't want to wait any longer because we know we are going to get married anyway. Does anyone have any advice for us (like for what we can say to our families)? And if anyone is from Utah, do you happen to know of any good apartments that are cheap in either Provo or Downtown Salt Lake City?

Edited by: ldspir8princess on Aug 27, 2010 8:26 PM

Remember, everything will work out in the end. If it hasnt worked out, its not the end.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 11:11 PM Go to message in response to: ldspir8princess

dear LDS,

"Everyone is saying we need to wait a lot longer before we get married because there isn't enough time to figure everything out before October 8."

Everyone is not you. You are the CEO of your own life. If you know this man is for you, then go for it.

" Does anyone have any advice for us (like for what we can say to our families)?"

In order of increasing snarkiness:

"Thank you very much for your concern."

"I really appreciate your thinking of us, but we have decided to go ahead and get married."

"We know it's unconventional, but it feels right to us and we would appreciate it if you would keep your opinions to yourself."

"That is the one-hundreth time you've told me the same thing, and one-hundred-and-one times won't change my mind."

"I would be very grateful if you could mind your own business."

"Mind your own business."

"Mind your own damn business."

"Go pound sand."

"Buzz off, bucko."

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ldspir8princess Posts : 7 Registered: 6/4/08
Re: Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!
Posted: Aug 27, 2010 11:33 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

aunt - You totally made my day! :-D Thanks for the tips! I think I will try a few of those out if they keep bugging us...

Remember, everything will work out in the end. If it hasnt worked out, its not the end.

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VšnTillBruden Posts : 353 Registered: 1/16/10
Re: Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!
Posted: Aug 28, 2010 9:59 AM Go to message in response to: ldspir8princess

Why is it that your family is so concerned? The length of the relationship? The length of time til the wedding? I noticed by your screen name that you're a member of the Church of Latter Day Saints (or is it just a total coincidence?). Not trying to get too personal, but does your family's religious convictions have a part to play in their asking you to wait?

Listen to AOTB. She knows what she's talking about.

As far as finding an apartment, is there any way you guys can find an apartment in between the two cities (I've never been to Utah so I don't know the distance between your towns)? If not, it looks like you may have to spend your first few months as a married couple separated until you can transfer to a school closer to him (or he can transfer jobs to be closer to you).

Just a quick question: if you're a student, why are you getting married in October? Are you planning on honeymooning? How is that going to affect your class schedule? Not trying to be rude whatsoever, I'm just curious.

Love me when I least deserve it, because that is when I need it the most. (Swedish proverb)

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ldspir8princess Posts : 7 Registered: 6/4/08
Re: Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!
Posted: Aug 28, 2010 1:35 PM Go to message in response to: VšnTillBruden

I think they are mostly concerned because there isn't a lot of time to get things for after the wedding put into place. Btw, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints but that isn't why they are asking us to wait. Both of our families are LDS too

We've thought of that, we just need to find one that has an opening and is in our price range.

We are planning on getting married in October because some members of our family are leaving the country before the break between semesters. My brother, for example, will be leaving for the Philippines for two years at the beginning of December. He will be serving a religious mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We are planning taking our honeymoon in December after the semester ends. For our wedding weekend we are doing a weekend getaway type thing locally.

Remember, everything will work out in the end. If it hasnt worked out, its not the end.

Reply


auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!
Posted: Aug 28, 2010 2:09 PM Go to message in response to: ldspir8princess

Dear LDS,

"I think they are mostly concerned because there isn't a lot of time to get things for after the wedding put into place."

Yeah, so what? So you look for an apartment or house AFTER the wedding, not before. Big deal.

It's more important to you to have your loved ones around you when you get married than have an extravaganza that takes three years to plan. You have your priorities in order.

My own wedding took about four months to plan. Engaged at the end of Feb. Married the beginning of July. It worked. We're still married, 34 years later.

(Memorize: "Buzz off bucko". You might find that useful.)

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Help! Wedding Drama and Confusion!
Posted: Aug 28, 2010 5:32 PM Go to message in response to: ldspir8princess

LDS- I'm with AOTB on this and Van too.

Listen, I have good friends who got married and had to live apart for several months.

Was it Ideal - hell no. But did it work - yes. And are they living together now that she's graduated and could move to where he works YES!

Actually, I know a NUMBER of people who did it this way - as I know a number of people who were in grad school, med school, etc.

Also right now, I have a friend who's engaged and living in VA finishing her PhD while her fiance is in CA. They are getting married in Feb of 11 - she'll still have to finish her PhD. She's not transferring, so they will live on different coasts until she's done.

It's doable and OK as long as the TWO of you are OK.

And personally, I like 'Go pound sand'.

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