I need help addressing the invitations

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
I need help addressing the invitations
Posted: Aug 20, 2010 9:46 AM

I know this was asked a million times but I need help addressing my wedding invitations. How do I do the following?

-I am inviting a married couple and their kids. They have like 6 kids!! How do I address the outer envelope? (I donít have an inner envelope. I needed to save money!)
Mr. and Mrs. Fred Flintstone
(and family) ?

-Also I am inviting my best friend and her mom. They live together and my best friend isnít married. How do I address them? Do I use Ms. or Miss for my best friend? If I donít know if her mom is still married do I use Mrs. or Ms?

-I am inviting a married couple that has one kid but the kid is from a previous relationship that her dad used to have but the kid doesnít have her dadís last name. How do I address that?

Mr. and Mrs. Fred Flintstone
Miss Lisa Simpson?


-If two adults live together but are not married I put them in separate lines right?
Mr. Fred Flintstone
Ms. Marge Simpson?

-What if someone is a widow? Do I use Ms. or Mrs?

Thanks!! Whew I think that is all.

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kellyheartsjeff Posts : 66 Registered: 2/25/09
Re: I need help addressing the invitations
Posted: Aug 20, 2010 10:08 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Your first couple invite questions I'm not as confident about - I think some of the more knowledgable ladies on here will be able to answer them far better than I.

The two I do know:

  • If two adults live together but aren't married you are supposed to list them on separate lines of the invitation.

  • If someone is a widow it should be addressed Mrs.

What I would do for the other situations (again, I would wait to see what others say about these):

  • for the family with 6 children, I would address it to Mr. and Mrs. Flinstone and Family. I know that sometimes leads to problems where they include other people in the "family" category that you didn't mean to invite, but without an inner envelope, I think adding "& family" is your best bet - unless you want to send separate invites to the kids.

  • I would send separate invites to your friend and her mom. If your friend is unmarried use Miss. If you are unsure if her mom is still married us Ms.

  • The married couple with the child from the previous relationship, I would address it just like you said:
Mr. & Mrs. Flinstone
Miss Lisa Simpson

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: I need help addressing the invitations
Posted: Aug 20, 2010 10:20 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Dear CA,

+-I am inviting a married couple and their kids. They have like 6 kids!! How do I address the outer envelope? (I donít have an inner envelope. I needed to save money!)
Mr. and Mrs. Fred Flintstone
(and family) ?+

Mr and Mrs Fred Flintstone
Sleepy, Dopey, Happy, Doc, Bashful, Grumpy and Sneezy Flintstone


-Also I am inviting my best friend and her mom. They live together and my best friend isnít married. How do I address them? Do I use Ms. or Miss for my best friend? If I donít know if her mom is still married do I use Mrs. or Ms?

Using Mrs, Miss or Ms is kind of a judgement call. Some women are "highly offended" if you use Ms. Others are "highly offended" if you don't. Stop and think a bit about your friends. Are they very traditional? If so, go with Miss and Mrs. Are they more progressive? If so, go with Ms for both.

-I am inviting a married couple that has one kid but the kid is from a previous relationship that her dad used to have but the kid doesnít have her dadís last name. How do I address that?

Mr. and Mrs. Fred Flintstone
Miss Lisa Simpson?

Exactly right.

-If two adults live together but are not married I put them in separate lines right?
Mr. Fred Flintstone
Ms. Marge Simpson?

Exactly right.

-What if someone is a widow? Do I use Ms. or Mrs?

Again, it's another judgement call. Her being a widow is irrelevent. Is she old-fashioned and traditional? Or is she more progressive? Based on your knowing the lady and based on your best guess, use Mrs or Ms.

In all of these Mrs/Miss or Ms cases, you are free to call the lady on the phone and say "So, what do you prefer?" if you are so inclined. If it's Grandma, you are likely to talk to her, anyway, about other things. Just ask when you are on the phone with her and talking about other subjects. It never hurts to ask.

For those ladies that you might not feel comfortable just calling and ask, make your best guess.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: I need help addressing the invitations
Posted: Aug 20, 2010 12:16 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Thanks so much ladies! :)

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Check out my wedding pictures in the photo gallery of my wedding website!!! :)

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: I need help addressing the invitations
Posted: Aug 20, 2010 3:42 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Dear CA,

Our new forum member, part of a male same-sex couple, has prompted me to suggest address forms for same-sex couples.

If they are married, use "and".

If not then omit the "and".

If they are living in a marriage-like situation and same-sex marriages are not legal in that area, I'd go ahead and throw caution to the wind and put in the "and". (Hey, who says I can't go wild and crazy some times?)

Mr Fred Flintstone (and)
Mr Barney Rubble

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2dBride Posts : 158 Registered: 3/16/09
Re: I need help addressing the invitations
Posted: Aug 20, 2010 4:31 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Some other options on same-sex marriages:

If male and neither has changed his name, it's like aotb said. If female and neither has changed her name, it's:

Ms. (or Mrs.) 2d Bride and
Ms. (or Mrs.) Not Froofy

If they have the same last name (male):
Messrs. Fred and Barney Flintstone

If they have the same last name (female):
Mesdames 2d and Not Bride

Thus sayeth Miss Manners.


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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: I need help addressing the invitations
Posted: Aug 20, 2010 9:36 PM Go to message in response to: 2dBride

Interesting :) Thanks! I am inviting an engaged same sex couple.

Photobucket wedding ticker

Visit my wedding website http://www.mywedding.com/alanandjarlyn

Check out my wedding pictures in the photo gallery of my wedding website!!! :)

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