Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.

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MrNiceGuy Posts : 6 Registered: 8/17/10
Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 12:31 AM

Been together with my GF for about 6 or 7 years. We went together to pick out a ring. She doesnt know if I actually bought it or not.

The problem I am having is ever since that day, she has been planning the wedding. I realize her excitement, but I havent even proposed yet for gods sake.

In the last 2 weeks we have went to about 10 different banquet/venues....

Is this normal? How do I get her to stop and wait for the engagement?

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Dani303 Posts : 18 Registered: 6/3/10
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 5:02 AM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

haha im guilty of that almost as well..just tell her when you get engaged you want a long engagement...and that she can look around..but not to book anything yet...and gently point out to her that you might not propose for another couple of months so for her to just to calm down.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 8:11 AM Go to message in response to: Dani303

While you've not formally proposed, you two have clearly discussed it. You have come to an agreement that you'd like to get married. Some would say that, ring or no ring, you're engaged as you have both agreed that this is what your future holds in store.

And to be honest, as we were walking out of the store after ordering my engagement ring, my then boyfriend (who had not proposed) asked me "do you mind if I wear my kilt?". I told him it was his day as well, and if he wanted to wear a kilt, he could. Then he texted four of his friends to be in our wedding party. We had not discussed venue or wedding party size or anything at that point. So he started the planning of our wedding well before he proposed.

(I, however, waited until he actually proposed before I bought my first bridal magazine.)

That all being said: just talk to her. Ask her to cool her jets until the big moment. You'd like the proposal itself to be something special as opposed to another phase of wedding planning.

Misty

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sassy411 Posts : 52 Registered: 8/16/10
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 9:05 AM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

Hah! My FH is the opposite. I found out he actually watched David Tutera the other night & has loaded WE onto his TV favorites list . . .

That said, it's nearly impossible to put the toothpaste back in the tube. You went to pick out a ring, thus that fuse is lit.

If you're not on the same page with this, I suggest talking about it honestly now before this goes any further & leads to a lot of relationship damage.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 9:39 AM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

That all being said: just talk to her. Ask her to cool her jets until the big moment. You'd like the proposal itself to be something special as opposed to another phase of wedding planning.

This completely! I agree with Cat.

And my proposal was SOOOO great that I'm happy I didn't know about it at all. It was a completely separate event from our wedding. And looking back, I'm so happy about that now.

 

 

 

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dogbride Posts : 41 Registered: 4/22/10
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 10:31 AM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

A nicer way to tell her to chill:
"Honey, I want for you to show off the ring on appts."

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 11:14 AM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

Dear NG,

Solve the damn problem by proposing. She knows you're going to get married. You know you're going to get married. Get off your duff and propose.

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MrNiceGuy Posts : 6 Registered: 8/17/10
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 11:50 AM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

I want the proposal to be very special and something we will both remember for the rest of our lives.

My mistake, I should have never agreed to go check out all the venues. Now she is beyond pissed at me becuase I don't want to book a place now... I feel that she is in a big rush to book something, but I am wanting to take my time, in steps...

I could see her big rush, since us being together so long, have a kid and a house together... But AHHHHHHh....

And the ring we picked out together is being custom built. Should be another few days before I get it... Then I dont want to propose to soon because she will know its coming soon. Want to wait a little while and make sure its a BIG surprise and the perfect moment where she has no idea...

Edited by: MrNiceGuy on Aug 17, 2010 11:52 AM

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sassy411 Posts : 52 Registered: 8/16/10
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 11:57 AM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

If you wanted to surprise her with something ultra special & out of the blue as a proposal, it would have been wise to not have gone ring shopping first.

I'm not sure you can have things the way you want them now without causing a lot of upset.

I don't understand why you would go pick out & order a custom engagement ring & at the same time tell your beloved to stand down on the wedding planning. That really had to hurt & confuse her.

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MrNiceGuy Posts : 6 Registered: 8/17/10
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 12:01 PM Go to message in response to: sassy411

I wanted to get the ring on my own, but she insisted that we go to a family friend of hers in the jewelry industry to get a good deal.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 12:18 PM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

Yeah I'm with Sassy - I think you screwed the pooch with that one.

 

 

 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 1:22 PM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

Dear NG,

You have a house and a KID together, and you still want her to be completely surprised when you propose?

Oh, dude, get real.

Pick a moment, in the next day or two, get the formal proposal out of the way, then plan the wedding.

If you wanted the big, showy, totally surprise proposal, you might have thought of that before buying a house and having a child together.

I am the mother of two adult sons and pretty much know what goes the minds of young late-twenties men. If either of my sons were to see this message, they'd say exactly what I did. Dude, get real. Don't be an idiot.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 1:24 PM Go to message in response to: MrNiceGuy

Dear NG,

"Now she is beyond pissed at me becuase I don't want to book a place now"

Heck, I'm pissed at you now and I don't even know you.

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sassy411 Posts : 52 Registered: 8/16/10
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 1:51 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Please forgive my cynical nature but a man comes to a clearly female oriented board, anoints himself "Mr. Niceguy" & then tells a tale of what sounds to me, frankly, like a head game.

They have a house & kid together, he takes her to pick out & purchase a custom made engagement ring & now wants our help figuring out how to get her to knock off the wedding planning.

Either a staggering level of insensitivity or an intentional effort to cause hurt & chaos, IMO.

Of course, I could be completely wrong.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Need GF help. I am the only guy on this forum. Thats just funny.
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 1:52 PM Go to message in response to: sassy411

Sassy - As a newbie (7 posts) I'm liking you more and more. :-)

 

 

 

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