Long engagement?

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Starqueg Posts : 17 Registered: 10/30/09
Long engagement?
Posted: Aug 7, 2010 1:53 PM

I just got engaged last night. My fiance and I are both about 2 years away from finishing our educations (law school and grad school), and are waiting until we're done with school to get married. I don't expect to be tying the knot until at least late 2012, early 2013. Does it make sense to start roughly planning now? Or should I be waiting until I'm about 18 months away from our big day?



auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Long engagement?
Posted: Aug 7, 2010 5:12 PM Go to message in response to: Starqueg

Dear Rachel,

" Does it make sense to start roughly planning now? Or should I be waiting until I'm about 18 months away from our big day? "

About 18 months out is about right.

Here is what I suggest. Just gather ideas, now. Get a loose-leaf binder and a bunch of pocket folders. Label the pocket folders appropriately: Flowers DJ Invitations Dress, etc.

Buy some bridal magazines and look through the ads when you have some spare time. See something you like? Rip out the page and put it in a pocket folder. If you attend someone else's wedding and you like something there, ask the bride, later, who was her vendor and if she would recommend them to a friend. Collect vendor business cards, and make notes on the back.

Go through your notebook, from time to time, and throw out the stuff that no longer appeals to you.

Don't spend any money, except for the wedding porn magazines. Don't buy a dress (don't even try them on), don't put deposits down. Just be a looky-loo.

Finally, start a spreadsheet with provisional budgets. Start with how much money, bottom line, you and FH and/or parents have to spend. Then figure out approximately how many people you have to invite and calculate per head costs.

Then, put these numbers into "what-if" spreadsheet scenarios. That will give you a good picture of what you can afford. No sense pulling out $5000 dresses if your entire budget is $6000.

Be extremely wary of getting locked into a dress. Many young ladies try on a dress, say "THIS IS IT", buy it, then later change their minds. Styles change, preferences change, you may go from a winter to a summer wedding, etc. Don't buy a dress until you have a date and budgets nailed down. Why wear last year's style to next year's wedding?


Marryingmytruel... Posts : 135 Registered: 2/11/10
Re: Long engagement?
Posted: Aug 8, 2010 5:47 AM Go to message in response to: Starqueg

We are having a long engagement also mostly because we are paying for the wedding ourselves. I still have 21 months to go! I would suggest that you just LOOK right now. I have changed my mind several times already about a date or a venue. I've been gathering information and getting some price quotes and just looking around at ideas...everywhere!



smileyface Posts : 19 Registered: 8/15/09
Re: Long engagement?
Posted: Aug 8, 2010 10:09 PM Go to message in response to: Starqueg


my fiance and i are also having a long engagement and marrying around 2012 :)
im actually also doing what auntofthebride suggested 2 do, and its pretty fun, i like :D


ashlieeexoxo Posts : 3 Registered: 3/21/10
Re: Long engagement?
Posted: Aug 17, 2010 9:31 PM Go to message in response to: Starqueg

Our engagment is roughly 2 years...and ive also created an idea binder:)


JessyNChris Posts : 120 Registered: 4/3/08
Re: Long engagement?
Posted: Aug 21, 2010 1:53 PM Go to message in response to: Starqueg

I don't have a wedding date because I didn't know when I'm graduating. My FI has already graduated so I'm just waiting on me. I now know that I could graduate in the spring. (We are thinking either 2012 or 2013)
We have been engaged for at least 5 years. I have been getting ideas over the years so it's ok to start getting ideas. I also had a place for the wedding in mind, but our city was planning to build a road that could ruin my idea place so once we settle on a date I'm going to request prices for places. Just wait until 18 months away to start really planning.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting  Waiting to be Mrs. Styskal 


lissagettingmar... Posts : 22 Registered: 5/29/10
Re: Long engagement?
Posted: Aug 26, 2010 1:37 PM Go to message in response to: Starqueg

Hello fellow student! My fiance and I got engaged about 6 months ago and we are in the same predicament - well, halfway. I'm a doctoral student and he's beginning his military career. We both want to wait until we've at least got enough money saved up to do this the way we want, so I foresee a long engagement into 2012 probably. (I don't want to wait until I'm finished since I still have 3 years left of graduate school!)

I think it's fine to start thinking about what you want - maybe even buying bridal magazines and looking at venues casually to get a handle on how much things cost. It's good to know how much money you're going to need, roughly, so you can start planning how you're going to save that up. But I would just keep in mind that trends change a lot and there may be something new out in two years - like don't fall in love with a dress because it may be discontinued in two years! And keep your eyes open for the new styles that come out every fall and spring. And I wouldn't buy anything for the wedding UNLESS it was a really, really good deal (like a $10,000 designer dress that you LOVE and that is timeless in design for like $2,000 or something!) until you got closer to the date.


Cecelie2011 Posts : 1 Registered: 9/11/10
Re: Long engagement?
Posted: Sep 11, 2010 5:20 AM Go to message in response to: lissagettingmar...

You sound a lot like me. ( I'm looking to get married in the same time frame) I agree with what the other brides to be are saying. Right now, just think and look at ideas. Go to weddings, create storyboards and watch those wedding shows on TV. Before you know it you'll be up to your ears in themes.

To lissagettingmarried:
I'm marrying a military man too. Hope the date for your wedding doesn't get pushed around too much because of his career. Best wished though.


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